Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Vick Rises Again, Now Will He Stay There?

Now that Mike Vick has his fresh round of "financing" will he return to his old off-the-field lifestyle. You know, the spend-it-like-it'll-never-end mentality that can make athletes and their $110 million in career earnings vanish down the stupid hole?

Well, we shall see, won't we?

As for why Vick never reached his full potential in Atlanta? Simple. He was lazy.

Here's a key excerpt from ESPN The Magazine's story on how Vick's 548 days in the slammer went.
The weeks pass until it's Super Bowl Sunday. The Cardinals and Steelers are set to kick off in a few hours when Vick receives word of an unexpected visitor: Kynan Forney, his former right guard in Atlanta. Both were drafted in 2001: Vick first overall, Forney 219th. Forney was eager to buddy up to Vick, like vintage guard-quarterback relationships go. But Vick always put him off, just like he put off every other lineman, just like he put off most teammates. 
Forney hadn't talked to Vick since his arrest. Worried that nobody else would make the trip, Forney decided to see his former quarterback. 
Vick enters the visitors lounge. Wow, he's cut, Forney thinks. Shoulders bigger, stomach leaner. "Man, you look good!" he says. Vick tells him he's been doing a lot of push-ups and sit-ups recently. Forney rises for the vending machines, and Vick follows until he hits the red line. With a hopeful look he says, "I can't cross." 
"Yo, why you saying things sideways?" Forney asks. "If you want something, just tell me!"
Vick tiptoes the line as if trying to stay inbounds. He selects chili cheese Fritos and an iced tea, and as he waits, someone asks him for an autograph. He signs it agreeably, then sits down at one of the tables with Forney, munching on his chips. After a few minutes of small talk, Vick blurts out, "I should have been watching tape." 
"What do you mean?" 
"I was doing just enough, going off instincts. We could have been much more dangerous. I'm one of the best quarterbacks in the game with this skill set, and I'm in prison." 
Forney is shocked but doesn't show it. Vick's just figuring this out? Maybe he should have told Vick to study more, but no, it was understood in the Falcons' locker room that Vick's 90 percent was better than most quarterbacks' 100 percent. Next time, Vick says with an intensity that Forney never saw in Atlanta, he'll be a better teammate. 
Hey, at least the guy admitted it. "I was just doing enough."

When Vick this past year elevated his completion percentage from a former career best 55% to 62% is hyperspaced him into elite status. It is why I believe that passing accuracy remains the gold standard of great QB's in today's game.

Once upon a time, you could get away with being 55%-ish and be a Super Bowl winning, Hall of Famer. (See Elway, John).

But now that the passing game has been so liberalized, and so heavily leaned upon by teams, anything less than 60% means you are either not very accurate, or you aren't making proper reads to find the one guy on almost any play who is laughably wide open.

In fact, I would guess (and it's just a guess, I haven't watched tape or done research) that most of the best QB's misses, are on long ball probes that are notoriously high risk/reward, throwaways, or downright drops.

If Vick can be judicious about running the ball - in this league, you run, you die, it's that simple - and keep his completion # above 60, he's going to be the best investment any team has ever made.

If he slips back into just doing enough, and resuming a "lifestyle" that is more comfortable, and not as committed, then he might turn back into the frustrating enigma he was in Atlanta.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Death To These F*$%#'ers!

With fall coming, I see these guys already massing at my window sills, and on the overhangs of my breezeway. Is there any hope for eradication?


But it's apparently going to take 3 more years, at least!

/homer voice: "Ohhhhhwwwwww........."

Hey Brandon! Get On The Damn Bag!!!

Will Ferrell-get on the bag - Watch more Funny  Videos

Absolute, lock-n-load SNL Sports Classic.

I can't get tired of Will Ferrell yelling - at anything, really, in any movie - if I tried.

/hat tip: William Newman. Thanks!

Monday, August 29, 2011

At Least He's Reached ONE Of His "Goals" this Year

Tiger Woods on on his decision to play the Fry' fall series event in California - presumably to get more prep work to appease Captain Couples.
"John Fry and his company have supported the tour, and I've heard good things about the event and the golf course," Woods said. "One of my goals this year was to participate in a tournament I hadn't played before, and now, I will."
"One of my goals"? Goals? Um, WTF, El Tigre? That's like me saying one of my "goals" for the year is to eat at a new restaurant I've never been to.

This from the man who once considered winning EVERY tournament he enters a reasonable "expectation". Wow. Sad.

The Gayest Stock Photo Of Two Guys Watching Football, EVAH!

Okay, this is one of those photos where you just start playing the "spot everything that's wrong/un-realistic" about this photo.

I imagine after big touchdowns, these two dudes either cuddle, or kiss each other full on the lips, not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you.

I know most REAL football fans, however, watch the game in a slovenly mess, sweatpants, shorts, and with pizza boxes and garbage all over the place. They also don't seem so "Johnny Eager" on the edge of the couch. They are more likely to be grumpy over money lost on the game gambling, anxious at their idiot coach's next dumb move, or just generally loathing the thought of having to return to work on Monday morning.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The 1-Point, 3 Seconds of Yawn, Football Relic

Once upon a time, I hated Bill Belichick.

His lying arrogance, the spygate taping scandal, his mind-numbingly boring press conferences, the childish and classless non-handshakes after losses.

But I'm starting to actually like the dude.

Perhaps I've been softened up by the fact that he's just so damn good. He plays chess, while almost every other coach in the league is playing checkers. I think when he went for it on like his own 30 on 4th and a couple against Peyton Manning and the Colts - and lost - I really became a fan.

Of course that was the right call. And it almost worked. Yet many lunkhead armchair fans still ripped him for it.

You make that yardage, which they almost always do, and almost did anyway, and it's three knees and a victory shower. Right call. Screw the cowardly conventional wisdom of punt and hold and hope. In that one move, Belichick both flipped the finger to "conventional football wisdom" while simultaneously showing the utmost respect to an opposing QB.


Now, The Hoodie is speaking truth about something I've said for years: the extra point is worthless.

From Yahoo's Shutdown Corner Blog...
"Philosophically, plays that are non-plays shouldn't be in the game. I don't think it is good for the game. Extra points, when the odds are 99 percent range in extra points it is not a play. Let's move the ball back to the 15-20 yard line and not make it a tap in. Let them kick it. Same thing with the kickoff return, if you're just going to put the ball on the 20, put the ball on the 20."
Damn straight!

Extra points exist only to give snappers and holders nightmares. It's a 99.5% certainty. And a waste of time. And worse, yet, if you kick the XP, then any subsequent camera angle that shows a player was down, fumbled, or out of bounds negating the touchdown, is legally INADMISSIBLE because LA DEE DA, we just kicked the MAJESTIC EXTRA POINT, SO THAT'S LIKE THE FUCKING SUPREME COURT WEIGHING IN ON THIS PLAY! CASE CLOSED. CUT TO COMMERCIAL!

MJD on Shutdown Corner has it nailed. Touchdowns are worth 7. You want 8? Go for two, and if you fail you get 6. There's at least 8 minutes off the length of games right there.

Other sports have jettisoned things that were too cumbersome, or pointless, or time consuming, or unfair years ago. Figure skating nuked the "compulsories" where you had to slavishly trace perfect figure eights as part of your overall score. College basketball eliminated jump balls except to start the game. Baseball got rid of the... um... well.. okay, baseball never gets rid of anything. Except the bullpen car shaped like a helmet to ferry relievers into the game.

Time to get with it, NFL. Eliminate the boring plays - or "non-plays" as The Hoodie dubs them - and keep the exciting ones. It's not that hard.

Behold The Power of the Handlebar Moustache!

Perhaps my favorite commercial going right now.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Stop Doing Crunches, And Spend More Time Surfing The Internet!

So many studies these days. Don't eat this. Get more exercise. Watch that cholesterol. Organize your life. Sleep more. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, I've got great news on two fronts.

1. Crunches/Situps are virtually worthless. Stop.
2. Employers should let their employees surf the web whenever they want.

Duffman says... "Oh... yeaaaaahhhhh!"

Now, All of Asia Understands Who Nevin Shapiro Is, And What "The U" Is All About!

I had no idea our crackerjack reporters at Yahoo Sports actually wore flack jacket style vests, with the big ol' "Yahoo" on the front. Sweet!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Gettin' Squeezed

The players are idiots.

But you already knew that.

Not to drag out the old "he said/they said" of the lockout, I must note the following things have all happened in the short time since the NFL got back into business this summer.

The league's most electric home-run back (not named Adrian Peterson) is mired in a holdout.
A sack monster for the Giants endured a similar standoff, before opting for knee surgery.
Carson Palmer is being forcibly retired by the cheapest man in the NFL, Mike Brown.
Ndamukong Suh has been fined $25,000 just for a hard tackle.
The commissioner invented a phony new power in the Terrelle Pryor case.

All that, and the union hurriedly agreed to HGH testing at the last minute. A concession that other pro unions wisely treat like a gold bargaining chip that should only be surrendered for something really special in return.

So what, exactly, did the players "win" this time? Not much, it seems.

Fundamental to the nature of the game, NFL careers are dangerous, violent, and short. While the contracts under which players play, are restrictive, non-guaranteed, and long.

The union did nothing to change this disadvantage.

The Titans Chris Johnson has put up spectacular numbers in his first 3 years as a pro. He's got two more years left on a late first round slotted rookie deal, and he wants more than just the $800,000 or so he's due this year. So he's holding out.

And apparently, getting nowhere.

Not take sides in this case in particular, because I know Johnson isn't exactly a litmus test of reasonable, but it's hard to not feel like NFL players are still under the worst compensation system in pro sports. When a Pro Bowl performer for his first three years in the league, has to hold his breath to get a decent SECOND contract, you know the owners must be laughing their assess off behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, scrub-forward Anderson Varejao of the Cleveland Cavaliers will make $7.7 million, $8.4 million, and $9.1 million GUARANTEED in the next three NBA seasons.

Varajao's athletic brilliance (and injuries, 31 games played last season) has given fewer people even a mildly elevated pulse watching him play, than a single scintillating dash-and-go-to-paydirt run by Johnson in the NFL.

Today it's Chris Johnson. Tomorrow, it might be Saints rookie RB Mark Ingram.

The current players had no problem throwing future rookies in the league under the bus, so they could claw back some of that rookie money and sprinkle it around to veterans. But today's rookies quickly become rank and file union members, who will be back in the same ridiculous situation.

What the NFL salary structure is asking Johnson (and others to do) is basically outperform the average lifespan of an entire NFL career, and then hopefully nail your statistical peak just before gaining un-restricted free agency.

Good luck with that.

Under the new rules of the CBA, a first round rookie MUST sign a 4 year contract with the team he was drafted by, and then the team has an exclusive option on a 5th year. If you somehow put up awesome numbers for all of those 5 years, then the team can extend you one more year with the franchise tag - which, while expensive, saves the team from committing to a long term even more expensive contract.

A much saner system would be similar to baseball, where young players are "under control" of their club for the first 5 years, but arbitration kicks in halfway through that period to prevent guys from being grossly underpaid. Or allow rookies to sign contracts of any length they want.

Players could have pushed for that. They didn't. The NFLPA is back to being the underpaid bitches of pro sports that they were before the lockout.

The players also did nothing to curb Kommissioner Goodell's powerlust. Or nothing to drive cheap, stupid, bastards like Mike Brown out of owning teams and ending careers. The NFL is a multi-billion dollar business, but Brown runs his team like its his father's hardware store, counting every penny nail in a metal bin.

And so off we go to play some football, which I am sure all anyone cares about. I promised I had said my last word about all this stuff in my previous post which, if I recall, included a phrase "If they're happy, then I'm happy."

Well, I lied.

Now. Now, I'm done.

Friday, August 19, 2011

For Goodell, Doin' "Good" Has No End, Or Limits

Another week, another un-enumerated power of the most vain commissioner in modern sports history, Roger Goodell.

My go-to guy on sports and anti-trust Skip Oliva sums it up beautifully in his blog post thusly:

Goodell Enforces Non-Existent Rule with Non-Existent Penalty 
In effect, Goodell is requiring Pryor to serve the NCAA’s five-game suspension as a condition of allowing him into the NFL. I can find nothing in the league’s rules that permit such a condition. The Constitution describes draft eligibility as a binary state: Either you’re eligible or you’re not. There is no “eligible after the fifth week” status under league rules. Goodell is unilaterally creating a new employment classification that is not provided for in either the league’s governing documents or its federally protected labor agreement. 
It also strains credibility to suggest Pryor’s actions in college are somehow “detrimental to the welfare” of the NFL. Hundreds of college players have lost their eligibility for violating school or NCAA rules and entered the NFL without incident. There’s nothing special about Pryor’s case except that it got a lot of media attention and forced the resignation of Ohio State coach Jim Tressel (who is apparently now consulting with the Cleveland Browns). And even if Pryor, as Goodell believes, manipulated his ineligibility just to get into this year’s supplemental draft, there was a simple option available to the commissioner under the existing rules — declare Pryor ineligible for the supplemental draft. Yet rather than follow the existing rules, Goodell decided to invent a new one that increased his personal authority. 
This is a pattern. Goodell routinely extends the shelf life of scandals involving players by issuing vague, open-ended suspensions. He previously did so with Ben Roethlisberger and Mike Vick, among others. You would think a commissioner concerned with integrity and protecting public perception wouldn’t routinely go out of his way to issue suspensions that keep stories of player misconduct in the news cycle.
Apparently, the union urged Pryor's representative to fight this suspension vigorously. They declined. What do they care? They know Pryor is a longshot to even make a final roster, much less start in Week 1.

But it's a huge blow for the union. Because with each little power grab, Goodell is setting a clear precedent that his "detrimental to the league" clause, is elastic and ever growing.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Wussification of Little League

Nice rule to allow a "fake" intentional walk. Why not just have fake trips to Shakeys afterward. Sheesh.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Sorta Like Tyson, Minus The Face Tattoo

I watched the whole thing.

Every last bit of it, two televisions and one DVR at a time.

Tiger Woods hitting rock bottom at the PGA Championship on Friday.

Jaw dropping.

I did so, not out of gleeful piling on, nor while doing a karmic rain dance on his swooshed head, hung in despair.

I watched, because I have watched just about every other significant moment of his incredible career. To pretend that it's not fascinating – in a horrifying sense at least – is a bald faced lie.

The collapse is perhaps more stunning than the often predictable field demolitions at majors. Those, we at least saw coming.

This? Never.

The Tiger that once laced a 210 yard 5-iron out of bunker on the 72nd hole in Canada, over a lake, with the tournament on the line? Replaced, with the Tiger who snap hooks a fairway wood out of his own hands like a broken bat single.

The Tiger that once never missed a single putt he absolutely had to make? Replaced by the Tiger who can leave an 18 footer a full 7 feet short.

We are truly in uncharted waters now, Eldrick fans and watchers. You can't simply click your heels and say “he'll be back” with the same confidence anymore. We don't know. He doesn't know. Nobody knows.

We can't just say: “Give him time with Sean Foley.”
We can't just say: “Wait until he gets healthy.”
We can't just say: “He's still the most talented player on the planet.”

Forget winning a major. Just winning again, is in doubt.

If you think this can't happen, you don't know sports or golf history. This game can shipwreck and abandon anybody.

Tiger is in the fight of his golfing life to slay this dragon and win again. I wonder if he knows that?

Where to start?

Well, there's the small things. And trust me. These are the SMALL ones....

  1. Foley's methods are crap.

    I say this, with no particular animus toward the man. I say it after hearing from many very smart golf pros and players who know the game. Plus, what is his track record as a teacher? Who is left in his stable of clients?

  1. His knee is still going to be a problem.

    And I say this, not as a doctor, but again talking to many smart people who know sports medicine and golf. Tiger got that way, with an exceptionally quick and violent swing, that snapped his left knee at impact straight more than anybody on the planet. Multiply that by over 500,000 swings in his career (rough estimate) and this won't be the last time we hear about it.

  2. He plays too few events.

    And they are the hardest ones to win, to boot. That schedule worked for Tiger age 21-34. It won't work now. He seems to have no interest in playing the John Deere or St. Jude's.

  3. The game has changed.

    Think about this. When Nick Faldo slipped the green jacket on Tiger's back in 1997 he was a mechanical, soft swinging technician who poofed it down the middle 260-ish and won 6 majors that way. Tiger comes along, demolishes the Augusta layout with staggering length, and without us even understanding it all, the game had changed right there.

    It's changed again, as it always done from era to era. Now, young punks (affectionate term) like Keegan Bradley are crushing the ball over every bunker and dogleg in the world. Trust me. They aren't behind Tiger's ball in the fairway anymore. Their swings are the product of computerized, 1000 frames per second video analysis.

    The 20-something set today on Tour, are not deep thinkers. They bomb it, and go pin-seeking. They'll either go stupid deep, or crash and burn. No big deal. Send out a tweet, go to bed, have at it tomorrow.

    Mind you, none of these kids will author the kind of dominance Tiger did. Nobody. Not Rory. None of them. But the problem for Tiger, is that there are too many of them. So if it's Nick Watney one week, it's Dustin Johnson the next, or Rory, or Charl Schwartzel, or somebody.

Which brings me to the biggest point. Nicklaus and his record 18 majors.

What if Tiger were to come out one week and say something like this: “You know, Jack's record is going to be tough. Let's be honest. I still hope to have a chance at it, but I'm realistic about it, and if it doesn't happen, that's okay. I just want to come back to the level of playing beautiful golf, and winning tournaments. We'll see where the total ends up many years from now.”

Yeah. I know. He'll never say that.

Which is really his problem. He's playing the game right now, for all the wrong reasons. He will say he's playing to break Nicklaus' record, but in reality he's playing the game to someday be able to deliver one last gigantic “forget you” (apologies, Cee Lo Green) to all of his enemies, media critics, and haters.

He's programmed to deliver “forget you's” to people.

Whether it's a swing coach, caddy, or TV announcer who crosses his imaginary line of loyalty, or a sponsor who drops him, or an opponent who disses him, he lives for the f-you.

He wants one more big one, bad. Really bad. An “f-you” that will reverberate down to every dick with a blog, like me.

You can tell by the way he still talks in front of the golf media. They ask him a reasonable question, about reasonable expectations, and he goes back to the old Tiger mode of saying he expects to win.

“A “w””, he said about his expectations at the PGA. “A nice W.”

Dude. Get real. Nobody is buying it.

F. Scott Fitzgerald famously said there are no second acts in American lives.

Maybe. Maybe not.

I know this: Tiger needs to start a second act to his career. He needs an attitude re-invention. He needs to re-think why he plays golf, and what he wants to accomplish from now until he's 50 and eligible for a cart and 3 round, no-cut tournaments.

The old Tiger is not coming back. Not next year. Not once Sean Foley's brilliance finally soaks in. Never. He's gone. He was something to behold on the course, and a complete fraud off of it. The fire hydrant killed that guy, even though the police report will forever list the accident as one in which the driver sustained only “minor” injuries.

We all wondered if Tiger Woods would come back to the game a changed man.

Seen enough?

He's now twice the prick, with half the money. And it's getting worse by the tournament.

I remember a Chinese proverb that said: “If you want to be a beautiful painter, first become a beautiful person. Then, paint.”

A brilliant second act is there for Tiger, if he wants it. A second act where his genuine personality is more accessible to the fans, media, and fellow players. A second act where his formidable talent and experience, is still enough to beat back the horde of 20-something bombers on his best day.

A second act where chasing a stupid number, 18, is not the point of this incredible game of golf we play. Being able to once again bully and scorn those in the game you dislike, is no reason to hit balls until your game comes back.

Right now, the world's formerly most recognized, respected, and richest athlete, is in a death spiral of seething anger and denial.

It's not pretty.

But if you say it's somehow not newsworthy, you too are kidding yourself.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Um, What IS The Government's Credit Score Anyway?

If you have been deeply depressed lately about the direction of the country, then I guar-un-f'ing-TEE, this sucka is gonna cheer you up, make you laugh out loud, and go to bed repeating some of these lines to yourself in your head.

"We got a black president now B, but you're acting like one. Pay your f***ing bills on time!"


WARNING: F-bombs a-plenty.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Steiny and Stevie Meet Face to Face!

Looks like Tiger's former caddy and still current agent are ready to fight it out in the parking lot at the PGA Championship!

Big hat tip to for posting this, and the comments are absolutely hilarious!

A sample...

"Look mate, Tiger is done. You should represent me instead. At this rate 10% of my 10% of Scotty's winnings is going to be more than you get from Tiger's winnings. I think you could really help me renegotiate my Havoline contract now that I am a star in my own right."

Steiney: got a text from Gillette, new campaign, The Frontrunners, they want you, Federer and Jeter.
Stevie: Federer, that has-been? I'll work with Nadal though.
Steiney: I'll let 'em now. Any objections to throwing Tiger a bone on this?
Stevie: At the shoot, he can park the cars.
Steiney: Sounds good.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Keep Your Eye On This Up And Coming Gurgitator From Milwaukee

Since competitive eating is becoming almost as popular as the WNBA or Bull Riding these days, I wanted to alert you Bob and Brian fans to a guy who got his "start" in the "sport" by chowing down enough food for a free TV from The Hog, and is now on the verge of stardom.

Eric Hucke (above, left) from Hartland, recently laid waste to the competition in the recent 4-day Germanfest scarf-a-thon! Here's his report...
Rules: Only a 100% eaten food was counted
5 minutes max, if you finish all 10 of the food, it’s fastest time and everyone stops. 
Day 1: 5 brats with bun in 5 minutes= 2255 calories, 135 g fat (FIRST) 
Day 2: 10 potato pancakes in 3min 40 sec= 2070 calories, 110g fat, (FIRST) 
Day 3: 4 large dill pickes (and I mean the BIG ASS ones) =56 calories, 1.2 g fat (and "cleansed" me out of the first two nights...yeah, vinegar....) (SECOND) 
Day 4: 7 slices of Bienstich (German coffee cake with cream in the middle, and topped with honey toasted almonds= 2016 calories and 119 g fat. (SECOND) 
Final totals, I came out victor. Turns out the potato pancake domination was the difference. And….of course, a guy that I picked out as someone who was going to have issues with this the first day was arguing the totals so much that they kicked him out. He DID get 2nd place….but I guess he was crying about needing the r/t Airtran flight for his sister because his mom just died. Hey, buddy – I DO NOT LAY DOWN FOR ANYTHING!!!!!!
Well gurgitated, my man! I have a stomach ache just thinking about it, but it's only a matter of time before Joey Chestnut is shaking your hand in defeat at Nathan's on Coney Island on the Fourth of July!


The Pre-Season Cup Of Optimism, Runneth Over

Nothing is as pointless in sports, as trying to read sense into what happens during the NFL pre-season. Teams that turn out awful, can routinely go 3-1 or 4-0 in exhibition games.

Even more idiotic, is making player judgements based on mere practice.

And then there is the bottom of the barrell: a headline writer for the AP has to somehow put relevance to popcorn fart caliber "stories" emerging from shorts and shells NFL "workouts."

Which gives you some of these... (as Dave Barry says, "I am not making this stuff up.")

Wire Headlines

Browns Joe Haden Making Name for Himself
Henne Impresses in Dolphins Intrasquad Scrimmage
Romo, Cowboys Do Well In Situations Against Ryan D
Browns New Punter Gets Welcome Day Off
Texans Can Only Improve In Secondary
Newton Wows Panthers Fans To Cap Impressive Week
Saints Stinchcomb Optimistic About Health
Vick Has Strong Day Passing To Backups
Browns Sharp In Practice At Stadium
New England Promises It Won't Stay Pat on Offense
WR Limas Sweed Eyeing Breakthrough With Steelers
Dallas Expects Improved Defense With Same Players
AJ Green Making Biggest Impression In Bengals Camp
Thunderstorm Cuts Falcons Public Practice Short
Saints Jenkins Draws High Praise From Coaches
Clausen Deals With New System, Newton's Popularity

I swear to god, half of these headlines could have been written by the boys at The Onion.

I can guarantee you, if Chad Henne was "impressive" against one-half of the Dolphins, he's still going to suck balls against 100% of the Patriots or Jets.

And when the Texans think they can ONLY improve in the secondary, they better think again. It doesn't matter who you sign to address a problem, sometimes suck, turns to suckier.

Why the Browns punter needed a day off, is beyond me. I didn't read the article.

So I eagerly look forward to reading more headlines on the so called NFL Wire, that have the rough nutritional value of cotton candy.

Things like...

Bills: We Don't Plan To Punt Until Thanksgiving
Micheal Vick Thinks 40 TDs and 1000 Yards Rushing Is Realistic
Lions Convinced "This Is Our Year"
Blocking Dummies Shredded By Rookie Marcell Dareus
Packer Rookie Says Green Bay Weather "Not So Bad After All"

and on and on....

Have fun with the mindlessness of the pre-season. Splash around. Make bold statements to your buddies over wings and beer.

And then forget all of it - everything! - before we kick things off September 11th.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Stevie Is Taking A Pounding Today

And rightfully so.

While it might have felt sweet, and right, and all f*** you Eldrick, in the moment, a day later well....

He's a damn caddy. This would be like the right rear jack man for Dale Sr. pushing the Intimidator aside after winning Daytona to talk about how this was the "best WIN of MY career."


Still, this clip had the extended cut audio of a near horrified Jim Nantz and Nick Faldo gasping at what it all means.



And if you forgot one of Stevie's best low-lights, then he're the 9-iron dropping gem from the Ryder Cup in '06.

Too bad Tiger didn't say: "Hey ape, jump in there and swim for it!"

Tiger's clumsy "Bag Ape" Stevie Williams loses his man's 9-iron.

Jay Day | Myspace Video

Friday, August 5, 2011

Red Pill, Blue Pill


Love the show and decided to take full advantage of the free email offer. I often text in, but now I have the added tool of a hilarious email address! I have an investment opportunity in Nigeria for you, but that can wait.

The yahoo merger came out of left field but makes perfect sense. Full access to their top tier talent and a forum for them to display it. Do you see this becoming something that can chip away at the ESPN marketshare and a rally call to F the ESPN and their family of crap, cause I am beating the drum on this. Confirming breaking news? WTF IS THAT?!?!? Love that Shefter, and Mort use "WE" when reporting anything, but they are almost always "CONFIRMING" and following Jay Glazer, with little or no mention of him.

I rarely watch SportsCenter, and along with several friends in the key graphic of 21-35 males, believe they have over-saturated the market, and have in fact Jumped the Shark. I know I have to go to the well to drink MNF, Sunday Night Baseball, and College Football, but from 6a.m.-4p.m is a smelly heap of overused graphics, highlight packages, and the voice of Colin Cowherd that literally makes my skin crawl.

I started listening to you 6 years ago, and much like the Matrix, i was like who are these douche lords to criticize ESPN. Well you sir, offered me the choice of the blue pill or the the red pill, I chose red and I gobbled it down faster then Rex Ryan at the Sizzlers All You Can Eat Rib Night. I have now seen the truth.

Brian,... errr I mean CzabesBaldSpot
Hope you dont take offense to the email address playful poke


The term red pill and its opposite, blue pill, are pop culture terms that have become a common symbol for the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red).
The terms were popularized in science fiction culture via the 1999 film The Matrix. In the movie, the main character Neo is offered the choice between a red pill and a blue pill, with the red pill leading to his "escape" from the Matrix, a fictional computer-generated world, while the blue pill would allow him to remain in the world with no knowledge that anything is wrong.

Let's Get It On!

So here we go....

It's "Rexy vs. Beck-sy To See Who Starts at FedEx-ie."

Not exactly Billy vs. Sonny in the annals of Redskins quarterback camp duels. But it'll do to pass the time this August en route to a probable 5-11 season.

It's gonna have to do.

It's all we've got, as 'Skins fans.

While I like the succession of low-key moves by the organization in free agency, and the salvaging of draft picks for McNabb and Haynesworth, this team still has no direction under Shanahan until we know if Beck can play.

Grossman, is a dead end.

Which means to me, at least, we've got to pull hard for John Beck to be as good as Shanny says he can be. Because here's the unusual thing about Grossman. If he wins the job in August, then the Redskins will push away from shore with a starting QB who is 31 years old, and making the league minimum ($800k) on a one year contract.

To say that would be unusual, is an understatement.

You can say it was smart of Bruce Allen not to pour much money into Grossman. And yes, it was. But when a team says with it's wallet: "We don't think you are very good" then it's not a good sign that you are forced to start him Week 1 anyway.

If Grossman wins this thing, then this team would be taking a drive down an almost certain dead-end cul-de-sac at the most important position on the team.

As such, I see no upside in Grossman emerging as the victor, even though if I had to put my money on it, I'd go with him anyway.

So sorry, Rexy. I'm for Becks-y.

It might be like trying to figure out who loves cocaine more, Paris Hilton or Linsday Lohan, but it's the only thing we've got this summer.

Let's get it on!

Thursday, August 4, 2011

NFL Network Is Killing NFL Films

If you watched the Ed Sabol special and loved every minute of it, as I did, then be warned: this story is going to make you absolutely sick.

Apparently, the NFL Network is sucking the creative life blood out of the once brilliant NFL Films.

Here's a key graph:
"People are afraid to leave because they don't know what they're going to do, but they're also afraid of what's happening right before their eyes," said former Films vice president Phil Tuckett, who spent 36 years with the company before resigning in 2007. 
"They're destroying that company. It's a cold-blooded killing. Bornstein and Katz are just cold-eyed network killers. They don't care about what we represented. With every action spoken and unspoken since they got there, they've said, 'We're in charge now. We don't want to hear this nonsense anymore about the topcoat-maker making home movies of his kid.' 
"Their approach is how much cheap crap can you turn out as quickly as possible so we can stick it on this godawful network that we've created.' "

In short, the NFL Network, which still does not penetrate every cable outlet in America (Time Warner is a huge hold-out) and whose chief executive commands a staggering $8 million a year, has precipitated an NFL Films workforce reduction of over 80 hard working producers and editors and turned the company from a fine 5-Star Chef into a short order cook.

Excuse me. I need to go punch a wall, or throw up in my mouth.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Welcome Our New Brand Partner, Yahoo Sports Radio!

Exciting news from the national radio front, everybody. Our old "affiliation" as Sporting News Radio has ended, and we are now known as Yahoo Sports Radio.

This is good on many fronts. First of all, ever heard of Yahoo?

Um, yeah. Everyone has.

That's huge. To be associated with a well known web portal, is going to mean a metric shitload of new exposure.

(Note: Are "shitloads" measured in metric, or standard? Wondering...)

Furthermore, Yahoo has been steadily hiring more and more very good sports reporters and columnists. We can now tap into them as regular contributors and guests.

Win for them. Win for us.

I'm not wild about the color purple, but it'll grow on me.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Adventure, Excellent. Once Again...

All told, in a little under 4 days, I....

- played 72 holes of golf
- lost 2 dozen balls in the Wisconsin wilderness
- drove 429 miles
- slept an average of 4 hours a night
- walked 8 miles carrying my own bag at Erin Hills

... and discovered that you can buy live bait from a vending machine in some parts of the state!

And of course, met many wonderful listeners and fans along the way.

Thanks to everybody for helping make my annual trip to Wisconsin absolutely my favorite weekend of the year!

Including... but not limited to....

GM Ann Marie Topel and Sales Manager Jeremy Zuleger from 102.9 The Hog, who made it happen. Thanks for making me feel part of the family.

Jim Reichart from Frontier Airlines. A very nice outfit, that ran the planes on time, and they even have live TV onboard and fresh cookies!

John Ferrito from Lexus of Brookfield. The LS460 loaner was unreal. But next time, let's let me take that $400,000 LFA concept car out for a spin. Not sure where I'll put the golf clubs, but maybe we can get a roof rack for it.

Scott Silvestri from Destination Kohler. He was able to get me on Blackwolf Run - River. And despite the fact the course absolutely tore me up, it's still an incredible woodland gem, like nothing you have ever seen. Go play it. And bring lots of pellets!

Jason Boaz and Stephanie Ashley at Grand Geneva for the golf and accommodations for the B&B Open. What a great resort. Don't sleep on it, Milwaukeeans! You have a gem in your back yard.

Jim Lombardo at Erin Hills GC. The course is absolutely world class now after some needed hole tweaks, and the fairways coming into their own in terms of health. It will shine in two weeks for the US AM, and the US Open in 2017 will be very well deserved.

Dave Bachman at the Bull at Pinehurst Farms for hosting what I hope will be a long running new event, the Bloody Horns Open. Course was amazing, as always, and the tournament ran smooth as butter.

Dave Sanderson at Blue Harbor Resort in Sheboygan. If you are ever making a trip to Kohler for golf, and you just can't swing the budget to stay at the American Club, this is an excellent Plan B. Especially for families with kids, there's a ton of stuff to do besides just the water park.

And of course Gerritt Mack at West Bend CC (man, those green complexes are insane!), Kirk Strong from Smart Interactive Media (loved the fake over-sized winner's check) young John and Tyler for filming and shooting the Bloody Horns, and my main man Eric Gitter for tricking out the "trophy horns", David Stein of Beer Tubes, and everybody else who I may have forgotten.

And now.... let's look at some pictures!

Bob Madden is un-impressed with how "hard" his banging new radio studio appears to the untrained eyeball.

What? Am I supposed to RENT some Toyota Tercel like a hump? Child... please!

Gerritt Mack stripes one home on #18 at West Bend CC.
The severe contours on the green complexes at West Bend were simply incredible, and unique. Never played a course like that in my life!
Of course, the short but dastardly 7th hole at West Bend, ate my freaking lunch to the tune of a smooth snowman (don't ask). I dubbed these the "stairway to hell."
Erin Hills is back to "World Class" status after some needed design tweaks and a few years to grow in the fairways.
Big props to my buddy Mike's girl Janice, who slugged out 36 holes with us, including walking 18 in the afternoon on Saturday. Our caddy, Julius Germany, works at Augusta National in the spring and fall, and will be on Peter Uihline's bag at the US Am.
Coming home in the setting summer sun at Erin Hills is a near religious experience.

You gotta love custom flags! Eric Gitter poses for the one that he took home to his basement. He missed our birdie on #13 though. Doh! (so did I!)

Our winners of the Bloody Horns, Bill Dawson (L) and Dennis Flipse (R). A smooth captain's choice 66 from the 7,435 way-back tees! Impressive!

For a while there, we were "in the mix" to take home solo second place, but a dreaded set of "Horns" on #15 (triple bogey, 4 balls in the water!) did us in!
All in all, a great 4 days of golf!

Despite the unrelenting punishment the game doles out with such gusto!

Road Wins Just Got Harder In Upstate New York (Correction: Germany)

Thanks to this....