Monday, April 11, 2011

Same Guy, More Rings

If you read my hot tweets during Sunday's round, you'll know that I am no fan of one Eldrick T. Woods.

In fact, my buddy Bob Madden said to me by phone, "the only person rooting harder against Tiger right now, is Elin."

He's wrong.

I was rooting against him WAY harder than she was!

After all, that $100 million divorce settlement allows you to not hold much of a grudge.

Some folks wondered on twitter: "why such a hater?"

Well, for starters, rooting "against" in sports is a time honored tradition. Every passionate fan I know, has "their" team, and a team they mortally rooted against - always!

Tiger Woods is the Yankees, the Cowboys, and Duke basketball  wrapped into one.

What, we're all supposed to fall in line, and root for that? Why?

Tiger, pre-crash, had been, amazing, incredible, unbeatable.

And now, he's none of that, he's just a prick.

A totally unlikable, insincere, pouty, club slamming, f-bomb dropping, front-running jerk.

They say "winning is the best deodorant" in sports. Right now, Tiger smells like crap.

When he wins again - and he will, including two more majors before it is all done I predict - that's not going to make it all better. In fact, I believe he'll be an even bigger prick, scolding us "haters" in the media that "he told us so" and what not.


For the record, here's WHY I hate Tiger Woods.

1. He's a CON.

I don't hate Tiger because he cheated on his wife. I hate him because of the fraud he perpetrated on the public, about being a wonderful family man. The constant references to the importance of family and kids. The photo shoots with him and Elin, with the kids and the family dog. Whatever. Meanwhile he was banging letters F-Q in Rachel Uchitel's little red book. Nobody likes being conned. It's basically the same as being lied to. You don't even have to believe the lie, to feel disrespected.

2. He's a front runner.

Anybody can look good when winning. Seeing how people react when they lose says alot more. Well, we've seen Tiger's act. He's an awful loser. As bad as LeBron when things don't go his way. Oh, he'll shake hands, but that's about it. Crappy post round interviews. Nary a positive word about his competitors. And often, he'll just make delusional excuses instead of just being honest (i.e. "I played great, I just didn't make a putt.").

3. He doesn't play with joy, he plays with anger.

It's okay for an athlete to use "the dark side" as motivation. To use perceived snubs to inspire themselves to an even greater level. Hell, Nicklaus famously did just that 25 years ago when that sports writer in Atlanta called him "washed up." But Jack that day, played with brilliance, class, and joy. Tiger played angry Sunday. The over-the-top eagle fist pump and yell was absurd on #8. It was like he furiously mashed x-button-right-trigger on his EA Sports video game to activate his "trademark" reaction to big shots. Tiger only seems to smile at the prospect of putting his foot on his competitors throat, not at the magic moments the game provides. This does not inspire me.

4. He doesn't respect the game.

A lot has been made of Tiger dropping f-bombs on camera, and his club tossing. This is bad. But let's put all that aside. When Tiger bangs the tightly mown, manicured turf behind the 13th green as he did on Sunday, it shows what a real prick he is. Any golfer knows, that having a good lie for shot like that is crucial. Crucial! And all it takes, is a little crease from a 56 degree Vokey in that turf, and you are screwed. The chances are slim somebody else would roll into his damaged spot, but the chance remained. Unacceptable. Raking the green at Pinehurst at the US Open. This is nothing new for him.

5. He gives so little back to the game.

This guy has signed the fewest autographs of any golf superstar in the last 50 years. He plays a ridiculously limited PGA Tour schedule. He plays the same events every year. He refuses to give tournaments adequate advance notice of his schedule. He doesn't play the Par-3 contest at the Masters. He treated the Ryder Cup like a week long root canal for years. Tiger's modus operandi? "What's in it for me?"

6. The TV announcers and networks never stop washing his balls.

Okay, this one I guess you can't hang on Tiger himself, but it just adds to the in-sufferability. At least Feherty admits to being in the tank for Tiger. Guys like Peter Kostis are more pathetic. Kostis was allegedly "banned" by Tiger from doing interviews with him on CBS, because years ago he had been mildly critical of Tiger's swing changes. Seeing this as a direct threat to his livelyhood - and correctly so - Kostis has since gone 180 degrees the other way, and openly roots for the swoosh on every telecast. If five guys are 3 shots back on Sunday, every broadcaster frames it as "can Tiger catch him" and they just throw away the rest. ESPN is just as bad. On Sunday, the "Lead" item on their bottom of the screen ticker read (and I'm not making this up): "McIlroy extends lead, Woods seven shots back." Someday, should the unthinkable happen, a headline will read like this: "Tiger Woods Reportedly Safe, After Meteor Strike Wipes Out East Coast."

7. He Treats People Like Shit

Fluff Cowan starts to get too "famous" for being Tiger's lovable caddy. Get out. Butch Harmon coaches him to the "Tiger Slam" and he reportedly got paid just $50,000 by Tiger on a $10 million plus earnings year. Harmon fired. Hank Haney scapegoated last spring, was left to twist in the wind, before he had to walk the plank and "resign" as his teacher. Elin. Kostis. Tim Finchem. Every photographer who ever clicked him in a backswing. Dirt under his cleats. The pattern repeats and repeats. People are disposable to this guy.

That said, he's an incredible golfer. Still. But his brilliance, undeniable, leaves me cold. Just like LeBron. The guy is a freak. Amazing. But who wants to root for that? Not me.

To quote Jerry Maquire:  "This is not what inspires people."


  1. This is why I like you Czabe. A very thoughtful analysis on Tiger. Your politics are asinine, but your sports are top notch. Good job.

  2. Spot on! Outstanding work, Czabe!

  3. People called me crazy for saying I didn't want Randy Moss on the Packers for many of the same reasons.

    Guess how many of those same people even remember the discussion now?

    Excellent article, Czabe. Maybe someday Tiger will see it and change his ways.......probably not, but we can all hope.

  4. Czabe,

    Love reading you work. I too can not STAND Tiger. At first it was because I thought he might actually catch Jack's major titles record. Then it came to light what a D bag Tiger is. So much talent, so much ability, given to an a hole. Even the backing of Jack when he came on the scene. Now I don't want Tiger to sully the game of golf that I love.

    I am a 31 year old whose first memory of golf was sitting with my dad and grandpa watching the 1986 Masters. That started my love affair with golf and Jack. The greatest stat I love to quote is how many times Jack was runner up in Majors, 19 times. It must have created something Tiger has yet to experience... humility.

  5. Completely agree. I was rooting for anyone but Tiger on Sunday. The irony, of course, is that golf needs Tiger. He draws people, which means more revenue for golf, etc. That's unfortunate.

    I disagree with Patrick... Your politics are spot on!

  6. Welcome to another tour through the sausage factory. You've put into words just how I feel.

    Sorry to hijack, but Tiger Woods is the reason why I respect Derek Jeter more and more everyday. A single guy living the life. His choice to not get married while he's still playing seems almost too logical. No TMZ. No National Enquirer. No interest. Just neck deep in whores every night. I'd feel disappointed if he wasn't.

  7. Also worth mentioning is Tiger's physical deterioration at a very early golf age combined with his conditioning regimen that added needless bulk and put additional stress on his body. Nobody has really talked about this aspect of his collapse.

    For as much of a toolbag Favre is/was, he still brought it despite his off-the-field problems; dad dying, texting scandal, selfish behavior, contract nonsense, etc.

    The thing that bothered me most about Tiger is that everyone said how mentally tough he was. It's easy to be mentally tough when everyone is afraid to criticize you; now that he's shown himself to be mortal, nobody is afraid of him and he has crumbled.

  8. Tiger is the only reason I've ever paid attention to golf and bought clubs for kids, but your 7 pt take down (esp points 5 and 7) with no hint of blind speculation (PED talk) or racial code words is pretty convincing. That's what I love about you Czabe, your takes are rooted in consistent logical philosophy and not just convient or for argument sake.

    Hopefully someday I get to listen to your dhow again (SNR website unaccomdating, iTunes podcast seem nonfunctional.

  9. You forgot one. He's not white.

  10. Totally agree Czabe. That being said, I want Tiger in the hunt every weekend, because like it or not, it does add excitement. I just want to see other guys (hopefully not named Charl) continually step up and crush his hopes!

    He's never given a candid interview, and while he doesn't "owe" that to the public, it certainly means that I don't have to like or respect him just because he's the best.

    Call Mickelson fake, but at least when he's interviewed he talks like a real human being. I think I could give an interview as Tiger Woods just using a TW soundboard.

  11. Good stuff. It's like the Dolphins hiring that idiot Bryan Cox- he didn't inspire me when he was a player, why would you want him now?
    And I like your politics, too.

  12. for one to surmise that Czabe dislikes Tiger because he's half black from the total lack of ball slathering for any white golfer outside of Jack is pathetic.

    Easy to throw around race when the topic comes up. Maybe Czabe hates the Aussies and KJ Joi too! Then he would be a real racist!

    Or not, maybe he also hate Angel Cabrera...but he sorta looks like a fat white guy from jersey.

    I was rooting for Cabrera, which makes me a racist.

  13. czabe...throw in King Phil's monday morning masterpiece for a little "extra kick:"

  14. @Patrick. Pray tell what about his politics are "asinine" professor Einstein. Go ahead. Make my day.

  15. Spot on czabe.

    @Mam22: umm where the race angle come from??????

  16. FYI - Woods is not half black. He's 1/2 Asian, 1/4 black, 1/8 Dutch, and 1/8 Native American.

  17. So if you don't root for Tiger for off the field issues, how do you root for Leborn James, Kobe, Bryant, Ray Lewis, Randy Moss, Brett Farve, etc. etc. etc.

    Except for the point about not respecting the game of golf, I see nothing in this post that makes me not want to root for Tiger.

    Now if you don't want to root for Tiger because ...
    He disrespects the game -or-
    His off course life affects his game -or-
    You like rooting against the favorite -or-
    any other host of reasons including I like Phil more, fine. But saying you are rooting agaisnt a professional athelete because of his personal life, that means you weigh off field things heavier than on field ones.

    And for 90% of professional atheletes you have no idea what their off field life is ...

    How many people know Mike Vick was into dog fighting ...

    That being said ... enjoy sports in what ever way makes you happy. They are just sports after all.

  18. I agree with all of your points, but the first is the best. He is a complete and total fraud. If you want to bang whores, then do it. But, don't pretend to be a family man while screwing your 21 year-old neighbor in your kid's bedroom. Sinners I can handle, hypocrites, never.

  19. Political Ideology. Spot on. Tiger analysis. Very spot on. I was a Tiger backer for a long time. Even through his divorce. He lost me for good at the Masters. I saw everything you saw. He's going to change? You can paint those tiger stripes all you want. They'll always surface oce the paint fades. In Tiger's case the paint hasn't even been applied. He's not a good person. Period. And Lebron is right there with him.

  20. I'm really fan of Woods because they use to visit online pharmacy and that's what really like about this man that he doesn't scare about what people say about him..

  21. pretty good points and arguments you have exposed here and I think you are so right about that and I also think that the glory days of Tiger Woods are so over, he should go to any online pharmacy and get some pills if he can make love to his housekeeper LOL