As Long As You Don't Really Like Parades, This Was a Fabulous Year For Miami Heat Fans

Pat Riley is a pussy.

And I never though I'd have to write that.

For a guy who once had the stones to promise another Laker championship from the podium of the current title parade in LA, to hear him declare the Heat's season a "great" one, is beyond comprehension.

"We had a great season."

His words.

Holy, fuck. 

I guess LeBron had some room in the Hotel Delusion, and Pat checked himself in for a nice little stint of post-finals rehab.

Let me remind you, Pat, your team was the most hyped thing in the history of hype. You guys were the favorites in the Finals, had home court advantage, were up 1.5 games to none, then 2 games to 1, and then shit the bed in a messy disgrace at home in Game 6.

Great season?

Who stole your balls, sir?

I'll just let the other comments about being "multiple contenders" and how this was somehow the best thing to happen to Miami sports in history (with an oh-yeah, I forgot about the Dolphins perfect season begrudging hedge) slide.

Because he had me at "great."

I mean, I expect LeBron to say stupid shit. He's never owned up to any failure in his career, ever. You, Pat Riley, architect of the Showtime Lakers, the guy who happily dragged the league into your brand of slamball when you coached the talent weak Knicks?

The hardscrabble kid from my pop's hometown of Schenectady, NY?

Wow.

Can you print shirts that say "Miami Heat: Multiple Contenders: 2011-2014."

I feel safe now that we've seen the best shot the Miami Heat with LeBron can give the league. The Boston Celtics were a bad trade of Kendrick Perkins and a few stupid brainlocks at the end of two games from stopping the Heat two rounds earlier. The Bulls were confused and inexperienced when it mattered most. They'll get better.

Then, the Western entrant to the next 3 finals will almost surely be more balanced and complete than whomever the Heat handpack around the "Big 3."

This Dallas team was a collection of spare parts and Dirk. Is it unreasonable to say that with a healthy Caron Butler they might have swept the Heat?

With the big man himself, buying into the "hey, it's okay, we still made the Finals, got lots of hype, sold seats and made some crazy cash for ol' Mickey" mindset, I think you can rest assured that honest and brutal self-examination isn't happening with this crew.

Nice try, fellas. I think watching you fail next year is going to be even more fun. And again, and again.