Sunday, June 26, 2011

Now That's A Road Win!

Some people are impressed at a mere airport bathroom.

Others, a mid-flight lavatory.

Still others, proud at a small powder room during a holiday party at somebody else's house.

Okay, fine.

How about a road win in a house you broke into, and you leave a calling card?

Put it on the board, yes!


  1. I used to work at a summer camp where the counselors and other staff would do this to each others bathrooms. Most fun I've ever had in pursuit of the perfect #2.

  2. About twenty years ago, my wife and I took a trip to Europe. After landing in Frankfurt, we drove to Lucerne, Switzerland, where I proceeded to eat anything and everything which contained cheese. After three days I was completely stopped up and began to overhydrate in search of a cure.

    Our intinerary called for is to head next to Innsbruck, Austria. On the way us the little country of Liechtenstein. So in an attempt to lay claim to having visited another country, we stopped in Vaduz, Liechtenstein to shop (well my wife did, I just wanted to say I've been there).

    While shopping, the moment for my cheese passage arrived. In my best German (no one there spike English) I asked the store clerk if I could use their rest room. She said store policy prohibited her from allowing me to do so. She must have seen the look of panic flash across my face, for she mentioned there was a museum just down the street. I informed my wife I needed to finally purge the cheese logs I'd been saving.

    I duck walked down the street, pinching my ass cheeks together with my hands. Just as the clerk said, I saw these two massive wooden doors, where I peeked inside. After quickly noting some lovely paintings and a statue I saw it. A gloriously vacant bathroom with my name on it.

    After a minute or so, I had just begun processing all things cheese when there was a tap on tue door. I figured it was a janitor or something. FALSE. A man asked, "wie heisst du?" (what is your name). An odd question I thought, but I responded with my name. The he asked, "was rust du?" (what are you doing?). Not knowing the non slang version I responded "ich macht schuss" (I making shit). The man then said, (das ist mein haus" (this is my house).

    Ruh roh. In my haste, I'd assumed this was the museum the store clerk was ytalking about. When I looked around I started to noticed it did look sorta 'homey'. I did my best to apologize on German and to explain that I'd hurry up and leave. One problem, all the cheese I needed to offload wasn't al gone. Quickly I pinched out the rest, found a small spray room deodorant, sheepishly opened the door, apologized again and sprinted up the street to grab my wife and leave Liechtenstein forever. She was not too cooperative at first but my hurried whispered tone of how I might be arrested for a trespassing poop passing convinced her we needed to leave.....NOW

    I've laughed a Loy about this over the years, lucky I wasn't arrested. And I remain. ME 1, Liechtenstein 0 in my best road win ever

  3. Argh Typos.

    "was tust du" not "was rust du"


    "ich macht scheiss" not "schuss".

    I hate auto spell