Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Big Al: What A Swell Fella!

Albert Haynesworth - aka "Albert He-aint-worth-it" is a charming guy.

Aside from...

- Stomping un-protected Andre Gurode in the head
- Paralyzing a driver by tailgating him, then passing, and then causing him to run into a concrete divider. (Civil settlement pending)
- Getting out of a speeding ticket for going 103 mph

He's a guy who really takes care of his "baby-mommas".

Or not.

"It is very stressful, I cry all the time," stripper Silvia Mena told the New York Post.

Mena claims Haynesworth impregnated her four months ago in Miami during Super Bowl week, according to the paper. Court papers filed Tuesday alleged Haynesworth became aware of the pregnancy and promised to provide the New York woman with financial and emotional support.

But the dancer claims that Haynesworth hasn't come through with that support.

Well, ain't that shocking?! Tell missy to get in line behind Mrs. Haynesworth - currently negotiating her own big ol' chunk of that $100 million Snyder bonus check!


  1. I think Albert should go on the Maury Show. I hope he has moves like this guy!

    also, can we start calling him Joey?

    - Taha

  2. Stripper Siivia Mena claims Haynesworth impregnated her. OK. Has Ms. Mena never heard of a condom, an IUD, birth control pills? Fuck her, she's a slut/whore. AH is a total piece of shit, but Ms. Mena is just as bad. Frankly, I think that she saw an opportunity to have a "million-dollar baby" and played the ovarian lotto. Fuck this slut/shore.

  3. Unfortunately, you and I will end up supporting this unwanted kid throughout his childhood and probably during his incarcerated adulthood. While Fat Albert enjoys his millions and spreads his seed throughout the slut/stripper kingdom.

  4. Let's not jump to conclusions here, the baby may not be Albert's.

    He likely got winded and had to be replaced midway through the act, while the bacon and oxygen cart was brought out in his aid.