Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Forget Smoke, Just Look at That Fire!

See that raging inferno across the river there?

It's the blaze of suspicion about Tiger Woods and performance enhancing drugs.

You don't think it's going to get out of control, do you?


Especially now that they have safely nabbed that shady "Doctor" who gave Tiger his platelet replacement therapy. Ol' Dr. Feelgood Galea got pinched today by the feds for bringing HGH across the Canadian border to treat several NFL players - including a Redskin, reportedly. Oh fun for me!

The one golf blog you need to have bookmarked - if you only have one - is Geoff Shackleford who is going to be on this thing like sunblock on the back of your neck in August.

"(Galea's assistant) Catalano told authorities that in his trips to the States, Galea typically performed two procedures on the athletes, both appearing to be an attempt to speed up healing. The first featured a cocktail mixture containing numerous medicines including Nutropin [human growth hormone], which would be injected into an athletes' injured knee. She described the cocktail as also containing Traumeel, Vitamin B-12, Lympomyosot and Procaine.

The other procedure was plasma rich platelet therapy, whereby Galea would take blood from the athlete and separate the plasma from the red blood cells after putting it in a centrifuge. The plasma would then be injected into the injured area on the athlete."

So wait a minute? Let me get this straight. Tiger claims he never used HGH or steroids. Did so angrily almost, at multiple press conferences.

Yet every single red flag, siren, and flashing light regarding PED usage is going off like crazy right now.

Body change? Check.
Injuries? Check.
Temper. Check.
Need to recover from injury? Check.
Spectacular performance? Check.
Connection to dirty doctor? Check.
Lack of testing by his sport? Check.

Oh, one more thing. Tiger has proven to be a complete fucking liar. His whole life was a lie. He lies to this day about injuries.

He wouldn't talk to police after the accident, and then tried to tell us "it's all in the police report."

But I'm gonna take him at his word when he says he never used PEDs. I'm sure he's shooting me straight on that one.

Because PED abusers never lie. Ever. Except for Marion Jones, Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmeiro, and um, who was that other person.... oh, yeah, EVERY FUCKING CHEATER EVER IN SPORTS HISTORY!

Now, here's the big question. When it finally becomes Barry Bonds evident that Tiger used HGH or some kind of 'roids, how big will it be?

I don't think it's any bigger of a scandal than his marriage implosion. My colleague Andy Pollin thinks it'll be HUGE! Like, double his bimbo eruption.

I don't really have a feel for how this will play.

On the one hand, you gotta remember that steroids were not banned by the PGA Tour until they started testing just a few years ago. So was Tiger really "cheating?"

On the other hand, anytime an athlete does something spectacular, the public wants that spectacular to be a CLEAN spectacular. If it's obvious Tiger was juicing, then we'll have to grapple with how much did the "stuff" help him win those 14 majors?

I don't have an answer for that. Because like Bonds, Tiger was great way back when he was a wiry 21 year old. And steroids wouldn't help you get up and down from the rough, or make so many clutch putts.

I know this. Tiger's life sucks right now, and the sucking has just begun.


  1. Czabe I couldn't agree more, some of my buds who have taken PED's say the same thing, when you come off of the drug your joints hurt, you cannot sleep, your temper explodes and you completely lose focus in the manner in which you were before stopping with the use of PED's. What is Tigers game like now, no focus (of course his marriage could be part of it), pain in his ankle, neck and wrist. HHHHMMMM very interesting, kinda resembles Sosa, Big Mac, Bonds and Clemmons. No doubt he was great before, but what does greatness normally bring to those who are great, they want to be greater, and greater and greater....how do I get there, either you're just blessed with it or you result to PED's.

  2. Czabe, I couldn't agree LESS. Athletes use PEDs. BFD.

    This "it has to be clean or it's cheating" mindset fails to address the mantra drummed into every athlete's head from little league on: Whatever it takes to win.

    It's hypocritical to preach "whatever it takes" and then condemn an athlete for doing...wait for it...WHATEVER IT TAKES.