Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Like A Club Pro Teeing It Up With Kim Jong Il"

Sometimes, I wish I could hit a golf ball like Tiger Woods. Or dunk a basketball like LeBron James. Or look as smashingly studly as George Clooney.

Or in this case, I wish I could write as well as Gerry Callahan.

Callahan, succinctly conveys my exact thoughts about what we saw between Tom Brady and Tim Tebow on Sunday at Mile High.

And by "exact thoughts" I really mean: "My mostly similar thoughts, but far more poorly organized and expressed."

Here's a little of Callahan's brilliance, but please give the entire column a read, and give his employing news entity their deserved page views.
It was like shoving the cute little coat-check girl up on the runway with Gisele. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, but it sure was revealing. Tim Tebow, the comic book hero who had led the Denver Broncos to six straight wins and inspired the nation, caught a tough break at Sports Authority Field on Sunday. 
The NFL schedule-maker put him on stage next to Tom Brady [stats], also known as God’s nephew, and just like that, Tebow looked as small and confused as one of the monkeys riding a dog at halftime. It was like a club pro teeing it up with Kim Jong Il. 
NFL quarterback might be — no, is — the toughest job in sports. It takes so much to play the position well, but two things are at the top of the list: decision making and accuracy. You’ve got to make the right decisions in a split second and you’ve got to deliver the ball on target. On Sunday in Denver, we saw Tebow do some really cool things — break tackles, run away from defenders (forward and backward). What we did not see was great decisions or many accurate throws. 
Even on the read options — part of an offense designed just for him — he sometimes read the Pats defenders like he was Snooki reading Charles Krauthammer. He looked confused, hesitant. On his critical fumble, he made the wrong read. Even on his first touchdown, he read the play incorrectly and ran into Rob Ninkovich, before using his superior strength and quickness to break away. 
As for his accuracy, Tebow was 11-for-22 for 194 yards. While playing from behind. Against the worst secondary in the NFL. Again, he threw no interceptions (just two on the year), but there is a reason for that. He takes no chances. Even on fourth down, he chose to run backward 28 yards and take a sack rather than throw one up and hope his receiver could make a play.
That is, in a nutshell, the position. Decision making. Accuracy. Period.

Oh sure, leadership, toughness, an encyclopedic memory to absorb playbooks and audibles, work ethic and God given talent are all in that mix as well.

But it's really just making a good, quick decision, and putting that brown leather missile right into a gnat's ear a split second before some 38-IQ lineman hits you like a dump truck on a Prius.

Maybe Tebow gets a lot better at THROWING the football. Maybe his COMBINATION of sorta okay throwing, and pretty damn good running, is a winning combination in the long run.

If you are the Broncos, yes, you HAVE to see "more of the movie" on this guy. Just keep your expectations low. Defensive coordinators love nothing more than to reverse engineer the latest offensive fad in the NFL, and then proceed to hunt it down week by week until it's extinct.

(Ref: see, Wildcat Offense, Run-N-Shoot, et al.)

And there's nothing wrong in rooting for the guy. He's a definite smile producer in sports, even if it's a "I can't believe this guy is getting so much hype" wry smile.

Chances are, this fad won't last. When's it's over, it'll be over. So enjoy it, while you can. And in the meantime, take a minute to appreciate the league's genuine aces at the position.

Even the ones like Brady, who have been so good, for so long, we treat them like the hot Christmas toy from last year, tucked away in a closet somewhere, taken totally for granted.


  1. Long-time follower of your website & national radio broadcast "gigs" - much as they do change call letters & employers... Please provide more regular content & Tweets- your fans can't get enough of it & more sports fans need to find you on a daily basis. Speaking for all of your fans- your witty as hell & provide a much needed fresh, in-your-face, realistic perspective. This Tebow-Brady blog proves it on many levels. And while I have your attention- We will (shall!) never tire of bashing the 4-letter Disney Family of networks & their multitude of panelists/analysts/experts/reporters - same goes for That name-droppin' SOB, Peter King.
    Keep up the great work !
    debo500 West Chester, PA

  2. I meant, you're witty not your witty ...that wouldn't make sense.
    Where you at Czabe?

  3. Before Sunday, I don't remember anyone saying that Tebow was near as good as Tom Brady. I'm not sure why this article is supposed to enlightening or even interesting.

  4. I agree with Joe. I think the article missed the mark a bit. 3 untimely fumbles deep in their territory lost the game for the Broncos - not Tebow's accuracy or decision making.

    Give him Hernandez, Gronkowski, and Welker and lets see how he does...

  5. Steve,

    You're so fucking stupid it really makes me sad. Normally I would try and write something funny, but no... Shut the fuck up you asshole... seriously.

    I dont see you ripping fucking Carson Palmer or Michael Vick you twit. How are their "decision making skills" working for them.

    Look, take if for what it is if you can.. Tebow's no Elway or Montana, but your weird Sandusky-hardon for him is getting old. He's a 2nd tier quarterback for a team that wont win the Superbowl... whoooopdeeee fucking doooo... neither will Grossman.

    Happy Chaunika you fucking Christ hater

    Sorry to bring the lumber but if you really look at you're/comments/behaviour, your being a total cock.

  6. You go unknown. Tebow replaced Mickelson as Czabe's whipping boy. That's WHHHHIP (credit to Stewie)

  7. No club pro ever had seven hole-in-ones in one day like Kim Jonj Il did. That is, if you believe the reports from the North Korean newspapers.