Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Hilary Duff Has Optioned Hockey Player Husband to Minors

Awwww, say it ain't so!

Former Disney teen queen Hilary Duff has split from her former hockey-player husband Mike Comrie (yep, that guy you've never ever heard of..) after just three years. As my friends at "What Would Tyler Durden Do?" put it...

"Three years and one kid remains the average life expectancy of a Hollywood marriage, lesbians included."

This all came about 2 days after they INSISTED that everything was super-cool, and then of course asked for "privacy" during this transition phase when they will remain "best friends".

How is it that divorcing celebrities always say they will stay "best friends?" Is there a bigger lie in the world than that? Really. You are getting divorced. Best friends, don't need to get divorced. Even if you both wanted unlimited extra-marital "strange", then "best friends" would say "okay, just don't tell me about it, and don't play any home games."

I've always really like ol' Hil (with ONE "L") and her "look." Fantastic smile. Impeccably high cheekbones.

She once had a "hit" song called "Wake Up" which was one of the most sophisticated musical opuses ever written, not like I have it on my iPhone as a video.

(/throws iPhone into toilet).

Oh well. She's somebody else's account to manage now. In the meantime, look how nice she cleans up!

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