Monday, November 1, 2010

This Is Jupiter

Because I could not find a photo approximating the size of Mike Shanahan's ego.

Better yet, let's call Jupiter Shanahan's ego. And we'll call Earth, Shanahan's brains.

That's about right.

Er, Mike Zornihan. Excuse me.

Er, "Palm Beach Mike" Tan-ahan.

To quote Jon Gruden... “Lemme tell ya... THIS GUY has got an ego! DIS GUY, is gonna let you know that he's the man!”

The Joyless Marty pulled a brain fart that instantly bumps down the last two great coaching blunders in Washington DC football history. Here's your new list.

  1. Shanny's Detroit Train Rex

  2. Zorn's Back-to-Back Fake FG's

  3. Gibbs' Double Time Outs

But hey, Shanahan's awesome. Just ask him. Or his kid. Who am I to question him? Or them.

On an ego scale of 1-100, this move was a 99.

On a “chance this will work” move, it was a 1.

He combined them both, for a statistical chance of success approximating NEGATIVE 1000%.

To put Rex Grossman in the game at that juncture because he “knew the 2-minute drill” by virtue of holding Matt Schaub's clipboard for a few years, is patently insane.

That would be like telling a fresh West Point grad to go command a regiment in the middle of firefight, because he just aced his finals.

Or having a pilot of a 757 jet step aside trying to land in a thunderstorm, because a Boeing engineer just happened to be sitting in first class!

<“But you don't get it! He DESIGNED this plane!”>

After the game, Shanny said it was being able to knock out two plays at a time. Bullshit.

In a two-minute drill, even minus timeouts, anytime there's an incomplete or a play out of bounds, you can slow down and get a play from the sideline. You might have to call double-plays a few times in such a drive. But hardly every other play.

On Monday, Shanny dug his hole of lies deeper, saying McNabb didn't have the "cardiovascular conditioning" to run the 2-minute drill. Even said they haven't practiced it for FIVE WEEKS because McNabb was not healthy enough to risk it.

Double bullshit.

Let's see.... Tour De France, IronMan Triathalon, Two-Minute Drill. The most GRUELING physical endurance tests in the world! Right!

So far, I've yet to hear a single NFL talking head or pundit say: "You know, it made sense at the time."

I fully understand that McNabb is hardly The Black Elway. I understand that Philly fans have been saying for years that he's been sub-par in late game situations, with the most notable being the vomit drive in the Super Bowl.

But he's still better than Rex Grossman.

The Rex Grossmans and David Carrs and Chris Simmses and Joey Harringtons of the world are either holding a clipboard or retired before 30 for a reason. They prove repeatedly, to multiple coaches and teams, that they are NOT viable NFL starting quarterbacks.


So now we enter uncharted waters. The McNabb “Era” here in DC is on life support. He, and Shanny have all of 8 games, plus this bye week, to go through QB marriage counseling to see if they can save the marriage.

Good luck.

If I'm McNabb, I would sure love to hear the sales pitch Minnesota has for me this winter. Or Arizona.

Should the Redskins let Shanny run off McNabb after just 1 year, it'll be more wasted draft picks out the window, and “Hello, John Beck!”

Makes you wonder if the coach just didn't read the CarFax report on the 5-car, or if he's got buyer's remorse? Maybe, McNabb was acquired with draft picks from Danny's Marketing Department.

Whatever the case, Redskins fans hopes that we would be set with steady hands at the two most important positions in pro football – head coach and QB – for the next three years, have been blown to smithereens.

Oh well. Shame on us for expecting anything different.



  1. As an Eagles fan, I feel somewhat vindicated. We were the ones scolded by the Trey Wingos of the world, telling us to be "careful what you wish for ..." Throw out the fact that we were the only ones who watched every minute of every game of McNabb's entire 11-year career. These casual observer national media types called us idiots and ingrates for wishing for something more out of the QB position. Looks like we knew more than those blowhards after all. Maybe we were on to something? As I stated on this blog shortly after the trade, most of McNabb's success was from 2000-2004, when he was an elite QB. Since then he has been plagued by injuries and confidence issues. I don't think he has ever been the same since the Super Bowl and the fallout from the T.O. saga. He has been a different person on and off the field since then. It was time for us to move on from him, just like it's long past due for Andy Reid to move on.

    Anyway, it doesn't look like McNabb is a good fit in D.C. I'm not sure that he will be a good fit anywhere to be honest with you. I just think that his better days are behind him. That being said, I'm sure that he'll be able to go to the well one more time to beat the Eagles in two weeks. As long as Andy Reid is our coach, there will be no Lombardis in the trophy case. I'm sure that Trey Wingo thinks that we're crazy, but we know the real score.

  2. just think zabe, when mcnabb moves on, grossman will be ur starter. righton

  3. Is it just a given that anybody who moves to the DC area becomes a complete dumbass overnight?

  4. I think Bushman is on to something...

  5. My parents live in Philly, so I go up there every a couple of months and what Shanahan is talking about is not an outlier. There are numerous instances of McNabb not being able to run the two minute drill while the QB of Philadelphia. Think back to the Super Bowl against the Pats when Philly was down 10 points and still huddling up with 4 minutes to go. Why? because McNabb wasn't trusted to make the right play call.

    How about the game against the Skins two years ago when Reggie Brown was tackled at the one as time ran out. Even then the Eagles were huddling up short on time because McNabb wasn't trusted to call the right play in the two minute drill.

    Is that because McNabb isn't smart enough or Reid was a control freak you can make an argument for both but this is the second staff to put a similar restriction on McNabb.

    Add in his mechanics are terrible and he is somewhat of a primadonna, there is a reason Reid wasn't worried about trading McNabb inside the division.

  6. Jeff is right on above. As an Eagles fan, we pretty much knew that McNabb was good-not-great. And that really it was time for him and Reid to part ways. That's the way this game goes.

    But at least when Reid benched him against Baltimore, he was REALLY sucking it up. Actually, when you think about it, that benching is was really started the whole McNabb-Vick-Kolb-DC merry-go-round -- bookends.

  7. Ya know, when you think about it, Shanahan did Mcnabb a huge favor by pulling him. Cuz now all the talk media is questioning the Coach instead of the QB that has completely underwhelmed since coming to DC.

    Let's not kid ourselves, McNabb deserved to be benched. He's been pathetic on 3rd down, the redzone & the 2 minute offense. Only real mistake was having Rex Grossman as your back up.

  8. Five weeks without practicing the 2-minute drill??? Do teams really not practice something they will encounter twice a game every week?

  9. Chill, Czaban -- you're sounding more and more like the White Wilbon. Maybe it was 1% that the Rex drill would work, but it was 100% that McNabb was gonna go 3 straight throws in the dirt, and then overthrow someone deep. How do I know this? Because, as you and Andy Pollie love to say, we've seen this movie before. In the Houston game, the Indy game, and yes, the 2 drives in Detroit before he got yanked, McNabb was in the game with a chance to win. He blew said chances. The only time McNabb has won one late this season was the Green Bay game, when you'll recall it took a timely and well positioned INT in the Green Bay game for McNabb to even get into field goal range. And in the other wins, he couldn't put together a sustained drive to keep the ball and avoid having to depend on a holding call or dropped pass in the endzone to save the game.

    No, I'm not saying Rex is the answer or trying to kiss Shanny's ass (as you love to accuse Thom Lovero like it's a binary choice between ass kissing and declaring the second coming of Zorn). I'm not even giving up on McNabb -- I think 4-4 is about where we should expect this team to be, and I'm hopeful for some improvement in the second half of the season. But why the hell not try something different?

  10. PS--

    '[insert names of athletes who may or may not have anything remotely in commmon]s of the world' has got to be the most tired out and overused literary device of the decade.

    As a Longhorn fan, I feel very fortunate that there is only one Chris Simms of the world. Unfortunately, there's a Garrett Gilbert of the world too.

  11. I'm a Broncos fan and I just have to say... Duh!!! He is who we KNEW he was! Denver may have ended up in the crapper, but this is exactly why he got fired. He has been like this forever, with defenses that so consistently sucked and his arrogant refusal, most recently with Bates, to make smart moves and fix the problem. He stuck with lame coordinators forever, and had the nerve to pick up a bunch of crappy former Cleveland linemen with the belief he could mold them into greatness. This is a man who insisted that Denver get Dale Carter for goodness sake. He couldn't shrink the ego enough to give Elway, a man who could become mayor of Denver without trying, a figurehead position in the organization. He thought he could reform Maurice Claurett! I think Jupiter is too damn small. He's gone super-ego-nova!!

  12. After being a listener to 980 for the past 10 years I have concluded that you guys are part of the problem as to why the Redskins are a joyless enterprise to follow. As this is your business, you over-analyze everything to the point where you are the guy standing there with a magnifying glass looking at a tree blight when there is a reasonably nice forest around you. The Skins are 4-4, McNabb came out of the game during the last two minutes as he was failing and they wanted to try something else. Move along...

  13. Sparky and Lenerd1 are right on- Czabe, you missed this one badly

  14. The ship on top is Tanahan's ego

    The Death Star is what's left of Danny boy's

    oh yeah that imperial shuttle that's McNabb leaving

    (yes I hear that nerd alert too)*%26ndsp%3D18%26tbs%3Disch:1&ei=OzDSTOfJNNH-nAe88YTrDw