Because I could not find a photo approximating the size of Mike Shanahan's ego.
Better yet, let's call Jupiter Shanahan's ego. And we'll call Earth, Shanahan's brains.
That's about right.
Er, Mike Zornihan. Excuse me.
Er, "Palm Beach Mike" Tan-ahan.
To quote Jon Gruden... “Lemme tell ya... THIS GUY has got an ego! DIS GUY, is gonna let you know that he's the man!”
The Joyless Marty pulled a brain fart that instantly bumps down the last two great coaching blunders in Washington DC football history. Here's your new list.
Shanny's Detroit Train Rex
Zorn's Back-to-Back Fake FG's
Gibbs' Double Time Outs
But hey, Shanahan's awesome. Just ask him. Or his kid. Who am I to question him? Or them.
On an ego scale of 1-100, this move was a 99.
On a “chance this will work” move, it was a 1.
He combined them both, for a statistical chance of success approximating NEGATIVE 1000%.
To put Rex Grossman in the game at that juncture because he “knew the 2-minute drill” by virtue of holding Matt Schaub's clipboard for a few years, is patently insane.
That would be like telling a fresh West Point grad to go command a regiment in the middle of firefight, because he just aced his finals.
Or having a pilot of a 757 jet step aside trying to land in a thunderstorm, because a Boeing engineer just happened to be sitting in first class!
<“But you don't get it! He DESIGNED this plane!”>
After the game, Shanny said it was being able to knock out two plays at a time. Bullshit.
In a two-minute drill, even minus timeouts, anytime there's an incomplete or a play out of bounds, you can slow down and get a play from the sideline. You might have to call double-plays a few times in such a drive. But hardly every other play.
On Monday, Shanny dug his hole of lies deeper, saying McNabb didn't have the "cardiovascular conditioning" to run the 2-minute drill. Even said they haven't practiced it for FIVE WEEKS because McNabb was not healthy enough to risk it.
Let's see.... Tour De France, IronMan Triathalon, Two-Minute Drill. The most GRUELING physical endurance tests in the world! Right!
So far, I've yet to hear a single NFL talking head or pundit say: "You know, it made sense at the time."
I fully understand that McNabb is hardly The Black Elway. I understand that Philly fans have been saying for years that he's been sub-par in late game situations, with the most notable being the vomit drive in the Super Bowl.
But he's still better than Rex Grossman.
The Rex Grossmans and David Carrs and Chris Simmses and Joey Harringtons of the world are either holding a clipboard or retired before 30 for a reason. They prove repeatedly, to multiple coaches and teams, that they are NOT viable NFL starting quarterbacks.
So now we enter uncharted waters. The McNabb “Era” here in DC is on life support. He, and Shanny have all of 8 games, plus this bye week, to go through QB marriage counseling to see if they can save the marriage.
If I'm McNabb, I would sure love to hear the sales pitch Minnesota has for me this winter. Or Arizona.
Should the Redskins let Shanny run off McNabb after just 1 year, it'll be more wasted draft picks out the window, and “Hello, John Beck!”
Makes you wonder if the coach just didn't read the CarFax report on the 5-car, or if he's got buyer's remorse? Maybe, McNabb was acquired with draft picks from Danny's Marketing Department.
Whatever the case, Redskins fans hopes that we would be set with steady hands at the two most important positions in pro football – head coach and QB – for the next three years, have been blown to smithereens.
Oh well. Shame on us for expecting anything different.