Friday, January 3, 2014

Oh Yeah, You Will Freeze To Death, And It Won't Be Pretty

I mean, she's pretty. Of course.


But pretty.

That game she was at also wasn't as cold as what it'll be on Sunday night at Lambeau. So, in other words, "Good luck, Lucy" in showing off your lady-bits like that for more more than 2 minutes at a time.

Because freezing to death ain't no picnic. In fact, I'd rather be burned alive at the stake, ala Joan of Arc, than be allowed to code out in the cold.

Here's the best, most detailed, and scientific first hand account of what it's like to NEARLY freeze to death. A word of warning, however: if this stuff gives you nightmares, you best not read it.
There is no precise core temperature at which the human body perishes from cold. At Dachau's cold-water immersion baths, Nazi doctors calculated death to arrive at around 77 degrees Fahrenheit. The lowest recorded core temperature in a surviving adult is 60.8 degrees. For a child it's lower: In 1994, a two-year-old girl in Saskatchewan wandered out of her house into a minus-40 night. She was found near her doorstep the next morning, limbs frozen solid, her core temperature 57 degrees. She lived. 
Others are less fortunate, even in much milder conditions. One of Europe's worst weather disasters occurred during a 1964 competitive walk on a windy, rainy English moor; three of the racers died from hypothermia, though temperatures never fell below freezing and ranged as high as 45. 
But for all scientists and statisticians now know of freezing and its physiology, no one can yet predict exactly how quickly and in whom hypothermia will strike--and whether it will kill when it does. The cold remains a mystery, more prone to fell men than women, more lethal to the thin and well muscled than to those with avoirdupois, and least forgiving to the arrogant and the unaware.
Okay, so enough of that macabre nonsense. Back to low morals Packer girls in bikinis!

Enjoy the game, if you are going. If "enjoying" at -4 will even be possible. They did it back in the Lombardi era at the Ice Bowl, when nobody had invented Gore-Tex and mircofiber moisture-wicking-anything!

So suck it up!


  1. I thought global warming was supposed to prevent this kind of thing.

    Al Gore lied, people died -

    previous Packer playoff games in the bitter weather (and a Letterman top 10 list)

  2. With the bitter weather this weekend, we will be experiencing a Twilight Zone episode -

  3. For God's sake, man, get those women to the tanner post haste!

    1. Like you'd have a snowball's chance in a blast furnace with any of them...

  4. Geez Louise Czabe. You've been to Packer games. We all have a bottle of spirits in our pocket on those games played on Hoary Nights. Plus we live in this stuff. I personally will be icefishing before the game.... Cold Schmold..... Go Packers !

  5. Wasnt even that cold at the game. Temps never got below zero. Had the game been today though different story. -20 right now without windchill. Kaperdicks tattoos would have fallen off!!