Greatest SI Swimsuit Photo Ever?

The SI Swimsuit issue is out. Danica Patrick has clearly realized her talent behind the wheel is limited, but that her talent level in front of the camera remains vibrant. Now, she may not be your particular cup of tea – my buddy JayCo calls her “mouse-y and mean” – but she’s pretty sporty for a gal who often stomps her way down the backstretch after a crash.

I recently asked callers on my show to name the “Top 5 SI Swimsuit Shots” of all time. Mind you, not models. But particular shots that still are vivid in your mind.

The Cheryl Tiegs fishnet shot from 1978 was mentioned by about every caller as the “Greatest” of all time. I say, ridiculous. While the shot was certainly shocking, as a sexy shot it’s simply lame.

Here. Take a look. Arms at her sides. Awkward looking cloth triangle to hide her nookie-spot. Bulge. Pepperonis. Below average smile.

Come on, people.

This is like the recent NFL Films/ESPN treatment of the 1958 Championship Game between the Colts and Giants. “Greatest Game Every Played?” Hell no. It was a sloppy mess, but the game had powerful nostalgic appeal as the years went on.

Just like Mr. Tiegs. She may have helped usher in the harder-core porno element of the SI Swimsuit issue era, but to call that shot one of the all time greats?

Nah. Not even close.

Now… here’s mine…

1. Marisa Miller’s “iPod bikini.”

2. Tyra Banks rocks the leapardskin
3. Heidi Klum tye-dye paint job
4. Elle MacPherson goes diving
5. Paulina Porizkova’s seashell bikini

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Chris Proctor emails me a little nugget from the awesome Greg Easterbrook column on ESPN’s Page 2 about the wild inaccuracy of many NFL “experts.” And yet, the number of radio hosts in my business who give King airtime, and actually fawn over his “analysis” remains one of the great wonders of the modern world.

Easterbrook: “Peter King addendum: King makes so many hyperspecific predictions it's hard to know what to take seriously. For instance, as noted by reader Ben Binningen of Switzerland, King predicted that in the Super Bowl, Willie Parker would carry 25 times for 113 yards. Not for about 100 yards but for exactly 113 yards. (Parker ran for 53 yards.) On NBC this fall, King predicted, among other things, that "Roy Williams will not be traded" (two days later, he was traded) and that "the Patriots are definitely going to let Matt Cassel walk & Cassel will not be franchised" (he was franchised). Owing to King's track record, it worries me that he has predicted, "There is no danger of the NFL being interrupted by a labor dispute" in 2009 or 2010.

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You ready for some NASCAR!? Yeeeeeee-hawwww! Okay, I’m being smart-assy. I’m becoming more and more of a fan, although I still think I rank as only a “4” on a scale of 1-to-Gearhead. Still, not bad for a guy who was a solid ZERO on that scale back in 1995.

I think this year I’m going to be “riding along” with Joey Logano in the #20 Home Depot car. Last year, I was a Kurt Busch “fan” and his season was a total tank job, minus one rain shortened win. Loved the “Blue Duece” car and paint scheme. But I’m pretty intrigued by a kid who looks like he just got home from prom (he did..) and can drive like hell. I’ll even stomach the fact that I now have to root for Joe Gibbs again, but hey, I’ve buried the hatchet from his ill-advised return to the Skins.

Plus, I recently became a huge Home Depot convert when they allowed me to return a Homelite 1.6hp string trimmer that cost me $349. I thought the heavy duty push action brush clearing machine would do wonders on some wilds on the property.

Wrong.

The little string snapped after like a minute on some gnarly pricker bushes. Took machine back, noted that there’s a 30-day window on gasoline powered returns. I didn’t even have receipt. They looked it up, printed it out, overlooked the fact I was 43 days out from purchase, gladly refunded my money.

Now, do you think there’s a damn good chance that my $349 is going back to Home Depot in the future, and not Lowes? Damn skippy it is. Go Joey Logano!