Sunday, May 10, 2009

See No Evil, Call No Foul

Imagine that: Mark Cuban getting screwed by a non-foul call on his own player! Ha, sweet justice! The gaffe that cost the Mavericks the game on Saturday was just another incident in these NBA playoffs that make you wonder if the referees are blind! Bad enough they used to bet on games, now it’s like they are as observant as Sgt. Shultz. “I know NUTHING!” How on earth does this non-call happen two feet in front of a zebra, after these clowns missed entirely Rafer Alston head-slapping Eddie House after a jumper? How come no referees have been suspended in the wake of these mistakes? Wake up, people.

Playoff overtimes are where my Capitals go to die. After Saturday night’s dagger, that makes it now 7 straight OT losses in the post-season. The Penguins are 6-1 vs. the Caps in the playoffs from 1991-2000. And three times the Caps have lost a two-game lead in the series.

Had Tom Poti not deflected the puck into our own net, Crosby was going to bury it. Don’t know if that makes anybody feel better or not. Just sayin’.

I always liked Chuck Daly, even though I (like most of the country outside of Michigan) loathed the “Bad Boys” Pistons of his era. Despite impeccable designer suits, he never came off as elitist as Pat Riley. And he was never as insufferably smug as Phil Jackson. Daly knew how the league worked: “It’s a players’ league. They allow you to coach them, or they don’t. Once they stop allowing you to coach, you’re on your way out.” Amen.

Amazing Fact: Despite Daly being given a lifetime achievement award, and inducted to the Hall of Fame, guess what he never won? “Coach of the Year.”

I need a good name/moniker/slogan for an index I plan to track this year: The difference between Zach Greinke’s ERA (currently 0.51) and Chien-Ming Wang’s ERA (currently 34.50). Do you think we’re going to see this “index” drop below “20.0” this year? And for you math geeks, how many consecutive shutouts must Wang record before catching Grienke at 0.51?

Big ups to Momma Czaban on this post Mother’s Day Monday. My mom was the ultimate sports mom. She got me signed up for every sport I wanted, always on time. My uniform was always washed and ready. She drove me all the way out to golf courses a full hour away from home to play when I was 14 and 15 years old and couldn’t drive. Then she came back to pick me and my buddy up. She tolerated me a) cutting down trees b) digging up huge holes c) cutting the grass in weird patterns d) smashing holes in basement drywall and e) marking up the front door with bowling pins in my pursuit of playing sports 24/7/365 around the house growing up. Thanks mom, a day late. I love you.

If you don’t love the NHL for its completely FUBAR names and spellings, then you are missing out. I have become aware of the Chicago Blackhawks automatic spelling bee shutdown name: Dustin Bufflin. Oh, wait a minute. That’s just how it SOUNDS. It’s spelled B-Y-F-U-G-L-I-E-N. What the Byfuglien!? Dude is a beast too. Scored 2 goals in Saturday’s win at Vancouver to put Chicago up 3-2 in their series. Byfuglien! Take that Krzyzewski!!!

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