Wednesday, August 19, 2009

King Douchebag

Ha. Fooled, ya. Didn't he?

Well, not me. Or a handful of others in the national sports media.

But he still got about 90% of the suckas out there. In fact, I don't recall a SINGLE “expert” employed by ESPN saying a month ago “hang on, folks. This ain't over, until it's over.”

But I did. In fact, I called it almost exactly. I said: “It's not that he doesn't want to play for the Vikings, it's that he doesn't want to have to go to training camp.”

Quote... un-quote.

Well then, look at the timing.

So now Favre enters a whole new orbit of self-absorbed douchebaggery, one in which he will almost certainly retire the trophy forever.

Let me now unload a shag bag of random thoughts about all of this, and let you good folks pick from what you like....

Thought #1: How orchestrated was all of this?

It's possible, that this entire scenario was cooked up from the very first conversation. Get the existing roster used to the possibility of Favre well in advance. Make it seem like it's a really tough decision. Delay, delay, and delay. Ensure he somehow misses camp. Then..... to quote John Madden.. BOOM! There he is!

Thought #2: Good thing the NFL isn't run like most fantasy leagues.

Because if it was, there would be fucking upheaval right now. Let's review: Team A who hold the rights to Player X, refuses to re-install Player X as starting quarterback after he “retires.” Team A also refuses to release Player X outright. (Hey, rights are rights. You'd be nuts to just give them away for nothing). Team A then negotiates trade of Player X to Team B, with strict stipulations. If Team B then turns around and trades Player X to Team C (in Division) then Team B owes Team A THREE #1 draft picks.

So after one year of lukewarm enthusiasm with Team B, Player X decides to “retire” again.


Uh, hello. Where the FUCK is the commissioner of this league!? If Roger Goodell ran my fantasy league, he'd have to get an unlisted number at this point.

Do the rules of the league, and player rights by teams mean ANYTHING anymore? Or do certain “superstars” merit transparent end-runs around such rules?

It's clear now that Team B (Jets) knew that it couldn't do anything with Player X because he would only play in the one place that would cost them 3 draft picks, so they just washed their hands.

Roger Goodell. You sir, suck.

Thought #3: When are Sage and Tavaris going to grow a pair?

I'm disappointed that in this day and age of hyper-political correctness in sports, neither one of these guys just flat out said: “This is a joke. The guy is entitled to come here and compete for a job, but at least show up for camp and sweat like the rest of us. Besides, the guy has a torn shoulder that's been stitched back together, and he's faded in the second half of every season the last 5 years. The guy's a legend, but he's had his time. This is a farce. But, whatever. Rah, rah, team.”

So what's the worst that could happen? They release you? Sage has guaranteed money, and you know he's bound for at least another 2 NFL teams before he's finally done holding a clipboard. And Jackson's gonna be cut anyway.

So come out and blast this clown, and earn some street cred with those of us out here who are just begging for somebody in sports to drop the politically correct crap out of fear of being ripped yourself.

Thought #4: Is Peter King capable of being embarrassed?

Think of it this way: nobody throated Favre more than King in the print media the last 10 years. Nobody pretended he was on a buddy-buddy level with Favre more than King. Nobody casually mentioned cell phone calls, or text messages with the guy more than Mr. Coffeenerdness.

And yet.... NOBODY has MISSED this story more badly than King.


It's like he keeps getting scooped, and scooped, and scooped, and scooped. And I wonder: does he know how stupid he looks? Does he care?

Thought #5: Does Favre have an image consultant?

The ultra-dirty hat. The perma-gray-stubble beard. It's such a “good look” for a “legendary” QB who is trying to “turn back the hands of father time” for one more run, isn't it?

Too good of a look?

Did Favre even once think: “You know, I'm reporting to Vikings camp today. Better shower and shave, and at the very least, throw on a decent ballcap.”

Or was it the opposite. “Deanna, get me that grimy cap from the basement! Yeah, that's the one! And here, is my stubble nice and gray? Good....”

Let's roll.....

So off we go. And sadly, some people whom I am losing respect for by the minute are now proclaiming the Vikings as “the team to beat in the NFC.”

AHEM..... cough... COUGH!.... Ron Jaworski... COUGH....

Rooting against them, and him, will be a sweet pleasure this year.

Game on.


  1. Czabe - You called it -- although this follow-on analysis seems a little wide of the mark and animated by some personal animus. Favre has again revealed himself as a bad guy to do business with...he looks like less than a straight shooter. Does that make me sympathetic to the Vikes, Jets or Packers -- or for that matter any team in the market for a QB? Not one bit...the NFL is a dog eat dog world; players are owed little loyalty and expect little in return. Why should a player whose days are dwindling have to abide by the rules of a game set up by the monied owners and the league office that does their bidding? If he has enough star power, an athlete gets to play by different rules. Is that news to you? Surely happens in every sport, sometimes on the field, always off the field, etc. It sucks but that's life!

    As for the media suck ups over-inflating the worth of Favre's fading skillz...I have a strong feeling you've got that one right.

  2. Now who hasn't enjoyed the farsical Farve amusement ride over the past couple of years? About as good as any reality show to date.

    Sad to read about Jaws. I have always liked his insight and game perspective. I tend to agree that the Viks will only go as far as the Jets did last year. Good luck there Brett!

  3. Will this give disgruntled athletes an idea?

    A superstar athlete is upset with their current situation. They retire and the team releases them to clear their cap number. This makes them a free agent.

    Something doesn't seem right with that. This problem should be addressed.

  4. Some questions of my own include:

    1. Can Bus Cook finally confirm that Brett is playing with the Vikings or, as in all matters Brett, has he not hear about that?

    2. Speaking of pro-sports PC, can't just one of the Packer players (i.e., Aaron Rodgers) just come out and admit, "HELL YES, that Viking game is gonna be in-freakin'-tense. It just means MORE."

    3. If nothing else, I respected McCarthy because he wasn't afraid to get in Brett's ear about a bad play (unlike "look-the-other-way-Sherman), and I honestly think that this had something to do with Favre's re-emergence in his last year with the Packers. There's no way Mr. Noodle (i.e., Brett's driver) will have the balls to stand up to Favre when it matters. Remember Kevin Bacon in Animal House ("Thank you, sir. May I have another?")? That will be Childress' position and statement all year - and after EVERY interception.

  5. Here's to hoping he adds to that all time INT record.

  6. I've been calling him "Brett Fraud" for at least 8 years now. He's a fake and a phony. One of the most overrated players of all time. Beyond criticism by the ass-kissing mainstream media. I still remember his horrible punt-like interception that cost the Packers a playoff game against the Eagles. He just chucked the ball up for grabs, and Brian Dawkins looked like a punt returner waiting for it to come down. On the postgame show, Terry Bradshaw blamed the receiver for breaking off his rout. The old boy network was always there to prop Fraud up as his skills eroded and he no longer derserved the accolades. I look forward to watching him fall flat on his face with the Vikings.

  7. Brett was a fine quarterback. He has the same number of rings as Steve Fuller and less rings than Jim McMahon.

  8. I totally agree that he orchestrated his return to the NFL/Vikings via a loophole in the rules regarding retirement. And that sucks. I hope he FAILS.

  9. Realistically, what separates Favre from T.O. at this point? Favre, just like T.O., has proven to be a narcissist of the highest order, thinking nothing of holding teams hostage for his own personal victory laps.

  10. Brett Favre died over two years ago when he retired for the first time in March of 2008. Since then he has been replaced by an alien life form, I call this person Bert Favor.

  11. Favre is only doing what basball players have been doing for years.

    How may starting pitchers that are vets skip spring training?

    recall rodger clemens.. he went over 5 years of skipping spring training, and not traveling with the team on away games.

  12. You guys are clueless. And it starts with Czaban. Ripping on BF’s clothes? Are you joking. Ya see, I have listened to you in Milwaukee for years and have done so because you generally are an entertaining, articulate and well-reasoned guy that knows the biz, but on this one, you are off the reservation. In your defense, you are not alone. I will try to keep it as short as possible. You are a jealous hater. Simple. You thrive on shadenfreude and have hated the fact that the Packers were legitimately competitive save one year during the Favre years (and that year, their #1 offensive weapon, separate from Favre that is, went down in week two). Your Redskins have been a joke, mostly because your dipshvt owner spends and spends and has basically zero to show for it (A for effort though). I remember last year about this time you sharing your boner over your QB who clearly was a crappile. I watched one of his late pre-season games, and at 6'4" or whatever he is, he was throwing balls in to the backs of O-linemen. I remember thinking, poor Steve, though he's a smart guy, he's blind. He so desperately wants a good QB to root for (especially after watching the best of all time - Favre - for years) he is trying desperately to convince himself Jason Campbell is the second coming of Warren Moon. Jason Campbell blows dude, and Favre is the best of all time, get over it. Yet you wont. I love how you state BF folded the last 5 years. Yeah, 2007 didnt count. 13-3, home NFC Championship game. Hell, they go 14-2 and win that game if Aaron Rodgers is at the helm. Right on, dude, right on.

    Regarding retirement and being a prima donna, its not that hard to understand. Prima donna? Are you joking? All superstars are prima donnas to some extent. You are exposed as a true hater when you cite guys like Peyton Manning in comparison. Oh, the Peyton Manning that has thrown many of his own players under the bus when he has suffered playoff failure after playoff failure? that Peyton Manning? Or how about the Peyton Manning that has whined about his surrounding talent in the off-season (even though his receivers/TEs have been no less than 2x what Favre's were with the Packers)? By the way, just for kicks, check Favre's td/int numbers when he actually had a real TE (Chmura and Jackson). Regarding retirement, he was conflicted about playing, and yes, for years. He had more money than he needed, but 1) he wanted to play while he could, but wanted to be with a team that had real hope of winning (I actually thought the redskins would be in the mix last year), and 2) who wouldnt want 12 mil. if you still enjoyed playing and felt well enough to make a go of it. Not an easy decision. Did he flip-flop? Sure, but who gives a shvt. I, as a fan, want the best player at the helm. The whole "train has left the station" was just so much BS. Thompson did not want him there and he got his wish in the end. And now this. Ted Thompson should die a thousand deaths. Favre, as the single most important player in franchise history should have retired a Packer and the Packers should have bent over backwards to make it happen. Instead, he is allowed to go to the most hated rival. (and, yes, "allowed" - dont forget he was in GB to play, and MM and double T essentially said no effin way).

    In the end, like I said, you are not alone, all the sheep here in Wisco buy the same BS you peddle, its really quite pathetic. Especially the two clowns you talk with during the week. They should know better. They, like me, suffered through the 70s and 80s and were not huge fans during the Packers glory years in the 60's. Favre made the Packers relevant again, and for a long time. Stars get special treatment all the time, you should know that better than anyone, yet your hate/jealousy blinds you. In the end, the waffling was unfortunate, but should not have driven ultimate decisions. On this Favre deserved a pass but Ted's ego got in the way - it follows that the org. gets what it deserves.

  13. all I have to say on this:

    "GO LIONS!"

    I was a Viking fan from birth, moved to Michigan 5 years ago, still followed them for the last 5 years, but once they signed Favre I was done.

    To hell with Favre, to hell with Childress. Gimme a call when both these clowns are done in Minneapolis. Until then I'd rather watch a team that finally makes the attempt to show that they are flushing away past failures.

    Screw Favre, Screw Childress, Screw the Vikings.

    Zygi Wilf - So much potential, pissed away. Have fun in Los Angeles.

  14. "(especially after watching the best of all time - Favre - for years)"

    Best of all time? HAHAHAHAHAHA Get off the Natty Ice.

    Favre isn't even top 10. And I can find 20 Qbs all time I'd rather have, and 25 in the league this year.

  15. Patent brew,
    The Packers organization bent backwards to Favre's fill for five years, and it produced nothing but early exit from the play offs.
    FAVRE IS NOT the most important player in Packer history, not even close. HELLO! Curly Lambeau!
    The guy who started the Packers. He was a player and the coach, and unlike Favre brought multiple championships to the Packers organization.
    Don Hutson? One of the greatest receivers of all time.
    Bart Starr: Two time Super Bowl MVP.
    Jim Taylor.
    I can name at least twenty players that were just as important to the organization as Brett Favre.
    Did Favre single handedly bring the Packers back to glory in the 90s? No. He had a great coach in Mike Holmgren, as well as one the greatest defensive players of all time on his team, Reggie White. In fact, in can be argued that Reggie played a more important part in the Packers resurgence in the 90s then Favre. While Favre was out having fun, Reggie was convincing his football pals (Keith Jackson, Sean Jones) to play for Green Bay. Favre fans like to rewrite Packers history by making it seem Favre solely saved the franchise from extinction, but nothing could be further from the truth.

  16. Goggins,

    Some good points re Lambeau and Hutson, and I can admit "most important" is a bit strong, but there is much more parity in the league than ever before, and the team was a joke before he arrived. These things make it tougher to survive and thrive. White was important, sure, as was Holmgren, but those guys were not going to get it done without BF. Cant be certain, but i gotta believe the chances were greater that favre could have gotten it done without those guys - take last year, near the end of the guy's career, he just comes off beating a perennial favorite (NE) and the lone undefeated team (TN at 10-0)to go 8-3 when his bicept suffers an injury. This is a team he joined a week after McCarthy told him the Packers train had left the station! Uh, he knew the Packers system, he did not know the Jets scheme. But I digress.

    In the end, to have the impact he did for 16 years is nothing short of remarkable. And then you consider the circumstances, and I dont know how the red carpet was not rolled out for this guy year after year. And this begs a significant point that Czaban idiotically dismisses. Who did Favre have surrounding him in his 16 years? Sterling Sharpe, Chmura, Jackson, and a bunch of guys that would not be (and were not) much without BF. Green? great with the packers, worthless without favre. Freeman? great guy, did a great job. He did nothing without Favre. Same with Levens, Brooks, Driver, David Martin and a bunch of other decent-to-average guys, to flat out lemons he made lemonade out of. Bill Shroeder went to the pro bowl boys . . . stop for a second and let that one soak in.

    Even Javon Walker, who was really the second legit #1 WR BF played with . . . look at what he was without BF. (Jennings ends up being the other legit #1 packer WR he played with.) And TE? Never had one after Mark Chmura - 10 years! Bubba Franks? An emminently worthless turd that BF put in the pro bowl. Seriously, check out BF's TD/INT numbers when he actually had a TE - he averaged about 35/14 or so for the three years near or around the hot tub incident. Yet, did BF ever once throw his teammates under the bus? Did he ever whine about surrounding talent? And then the one guy that BF wanted and actually expressed himself about, Randy Moss, easily a top two receiver of all time and a friend of Favre's who fit perfectly with his style . . . and Ted pvsses all over the deal. And Favre is not supposed to care?? Yeah, packer mgmt can go screw themselves.

    You sheep think he is overrated but its a joke BF doesnt get more credit. But hey, according to Michael Hunt (Milw. Journal) we should cheer BF going to Queens. Be careful what you wish for, mikehunt, be careful what you wish for.

    And to the dingbat that wrote that you dont put Favre in the top 20, dont worry, someday the redskins will find a qb czabe can legitimately get excited about. Just dont hold your breath.