Thursday, March 11, 2010
Sports Moments That Need Animation
I don't know why crude video-game style animations of random stories in the US news cycle by Taiwanese programmers so tickles my funny bone.
But they do. Every time.
Perhaps it is the scrambling, rat-a-tat-tat cadence of the Chinese voice-over. Perhaps it is me visualizing some dude sitting in front of a computer saying to his co-worker: "I don't know. Maybe we should make Elin's face look more angry as she smashes out that back window? Click-click-click. Yeah, like that. Super pissed. Perfect!"
Maybe it is the attempt to actually animate a rather obtuse story.
Like the latest edition, a kerfuffle over the mascot at Ole Miss. In case you didn't know, dem racist cracka's down in Oxford have decided to deep six ol' Col. Reb in favor of "Mystery Mascot 2k10."
Naturally, somebody thought a "fan poll" would be a good start in their search for a replacement.
That produced an instant front runner in the form of Star Wars fish/commander Admiral Ackbar. University officials have quickly doused any notion that this will actually happen, but that didn't stop the Chinese animators!
Fabulous, isn't it?
And I thought they couldn't out-do themselves on sorting out the whole "Jay Leno vs. Conan O'Brien" late night TV fight.
Which gets me to thinking. What famous, fucked up stupid/bizarre sports stories over the years that we do NOT have any live footage of, deserve the Chinese animator treatment?
Here are a few to get the conversation started. You people can help add some more.
Kobe's hotel encounter in Eagle, Colorado.
Bob Knight stranding Texas Tech's AD at the salad bar in a fight.
Latrell Sprewell going Homer Simpson on PJ Carlissimo's neck.
The Nancy Kerrigan clubbed-knee attack.
Brett Favre scooping loose vicodin's out of his vomit.
Mike Vick trying to sneak weed in a bottle onto an airplane.
And the possibilities, they are endless!
Have at it, boys and girls!