Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Yep. Weird.



Okay, Rex Ryan and the foot fetish thing.

See, here' s the deal.

ALL fetishes are weird. All of them.

That's why they are fetishes.

Mature, super-busty, bondage, pregnant, shoes, feet, stockings, underwear, smoking, stomping, piercing, trannies, you name it.

Weeeeeiiirrrrd-o!

Ewww. Unless it tickles that part of your cerebral cortex in a way that is beyond rational explanation.

Mine?

Ha, yeah. Nice try. I have a fetish for the missionary position. That's all you people are getting out of me.

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Speaking of Mrs. Ryan, she really is a firecracker, ain't she? Married to a fat mouthy slob with false choppers. Her? And she's a swinger? Good pull, Rex. Keeper.

I don't know, however, if she really does have "sexy" feet or not. Someone who is a foot fetish expert, will have to explain what to look for on that front.

Am I looking for nicely symmetrical arches? Smooth heel pads? Lovely svelte insteps? Help me folks, I'm lost here.

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Nice win by Redskins, which means absolutely nothing other than slightly diminished draft position. Funny how when guys that haven't had a chance to play all year, actually start ballin' out!

Defensively, NT Anthony Bryant, CB Byron Westbrook, and LB Rob Jackson were making plays all over the place.

Rex Grossman was, well, Rex. 19-39-184 with 1 and 1. Not going to say "I told you so" like Shanahan basically did last week, because again, it's ONE game.

But, you give Rex Grossman 14 more starts with this team to make for a complete 16-game comparative set, and I will bet you a steak dinner that set of numbers looks almost exactly like the ones Rex has compiled so far in his career.

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Goodbye, Mike Singletary. We will miss you.

Yet another tough sounding coach, who didn't really know HOW to coach. Sounding tough is easy. I could do it, you could do it. Let's pound the podium and demand "winners."

Okay, that's over. Now what?

Right.

Singletary join the ranks of Ditka (Saints version), Herm Edwards, Rod Marinelli, and various other NFL head coaches who SOUNDED great, but ultimately failed.

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Also, Singletary changed QB's, alot. Coaches who switch QBs around alot for non-injury reasons, don't tend to last long.

Shanny might want to jot that down.

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Best Christmas present? A Brookstone remote control indoor helicopter, with gyroscopic stabilizer and bitching lights.

Ridiculous fun.

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Best Tweet of Sunday. "@appmy: When is color blindness awareness week in the NFL? I am a sufferer. Any color ribbon will do."

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Aaron Rodgers has the most ridiculous 8-way joystick action in the pocket of any current QB. Match that with the ultra-sticky hands of Jennings and Driver, and that's an insanely dangerous offense without any kind of supporting run game that scares people.

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Who do you fire, Alex Spanos? Your uninspiring, underachieving head coach? Or your insanely stubborn, win-every-contract-screw-winning-games GM?

How 'bout both?

You'd still have a very well stocked team, and likely a better game day coach.

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The Ohio State suspensions just prove the NCAA is making shit up as they go along. Whatever. Make sure that Bowl Game shines, and the rest of you guys can scoot to the pros.

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If you haven't seen the Chris Rock documentary "Good Hair" on HBO, you might want to search, record, and save. Wow. I thought the HBO special on teeny-tot beauty pageants was wrong on many levels, and so is this one. When black women call hair relaxer "the creamy crack" and others spend up to $2,500 or more on a hair weave? Some serious societal dysfunction.

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Finally, I see where Obama reached out to Andy Reid to thank him for employing ex-con Michael Vick. On its face, I have no problem with the move. However, I think everybody is jumping into the Mike Vick Hot Tub of Societal Love just a bit quick. The guy has been out of jail for all of like 5 minutes in the big scheme of life. If he ends up doing something stupid again, then everybody who rushed to proclaim his continuing "redemption" story a sudden success, is going to look pretty stupid too.


9 comments:

  1. Czabe-if you like good documentaries, check out The Winnebago Man, you'll laugh your ass off.

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  2. When Mrs. Ryan orders Rex to hit the gap, I wonder which toe gap is his favorite? He's got nine to choose from (four on each foot and the ninth is between the two big toes).

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  3. Czabe,
    1. Feet: I don't have a foot fetish, but kind of wish I did. My wife has perfectly manicured/painted toenails, long slender toes (pinky is actually somewhat sideways, she says it's called 'angel toes') and that svelte instep you're talking about. People have told her she has sexy feet, but I ain't into feet. Kind of a waste, I guess.
    2. That chopper rocks. My 2 boys got one each, and it is amazing how well that thing flies. Until the stabilizer gets goofy and it just spins in circles. If you can troubleshoot that, I'd appreciate it.
    3. Mike Vick is good-hearted overall, I think. I'm a big VT fan and heard that he just came from such terrible conditions that it's hard to get past it for some guys. I hope he does, cause his brother showed us what happens if you can't.
    4. I'm also a Dolphins fan so this thing with Ryan makes me smile for some reason.
    Have a great New Year!

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  4. Rex Ryan is a fat buffoon. But do I care if his wife's feet are on the internet? Hell no.

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  5. Czabe! you are a racist. At least for people like you, i hope Micheal Vick wins.

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  6. Yes Steve- the fact they spend so much on their hair is proof of their societal dysfunction....not the incredibly high violent crime rates or the illegitamacy..it's the hair.......

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. OK, Rex can call out plays for the toes like the offensive line and number the ones to the left odd and the ones to the right even. So, depending on which toe gap he's going for, he can aim for gap:
    Left: 9 7 5 3 or 2 4 6 8 :Right

    0 and 1 is reserved for between the big toes or aiming for something further north.

    We still haven't figured out who wears the pants in the family, but we do know who doesn't wear the socks.

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  9. No problem with feet fetish, totally natural!!

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