Friday, October 29, 2010

Jimmy's Back! And he brought some picks!

You knew the couldn't hold Jimmy down forever:

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I guess beggars can be choosers...

One NYC man gets personal with some payphones in the newest Czabecast:

Brian Kelly Should Resign Today

Unless he, and Notre Dame University by extension, don't give a shit about the life of a student who DIED filming a Wednesday football practice for his crappy 4-4 team.

"Get in that damn tower and hit record! We just got beat by Navy for the third damn time!"

With winds whipping across most of the midwest this week like a burrito afterlunch through Charlie Weiss' pants, how stupid do you have to be as a coach to send a kid up into that death bucket?

This goes to show that college coaches are bigger maniacs than even the worst caricatures you can draw about them.

Remember too, this is a University that fired a coach for a 20 year old resume item that was an embellishment.

How chilling too, the fact that poor young Declan Sullivan practically KNEW he was volunteering for a death mission?

Sullivan tapped out two chilling Twitter posts before his fatal 30-foot plunge.

In the first post, Sullivan made a dark joke predicting his horrific fate.

"Gusts of wind up to 60 mph. Well today will be fun at work. I guess I’ve lived long enough," Sullivan wrote at 3:22 p.m., just as practice was getting started, CBS reported.

More than 40-minutes later, the 20-year-old junior from Long Grove, Ill., was frozen with fear as wind-gusts approached 50 mph.

"Holy ---. Holy ---. This is terrifying," Declan wrote.

Around 45 minutes after that post, the tower collapsed, crashing through a fence some 30 feet below and landing on a street that runs between two athletic facilities.

Sullivan died later at South Bend's Memorial Hospital.

I've seen these scissor lifts at Redskins Park up close. They are marvelous pieces of machinery. But also scary as shit. The operator lifts himself up with controls in the bucket or perch, and can even drive the thing around like a slow moving car. There are no huge outrigger feet that claw into the ground. There are are no ropes to tie it down. There is no safety padding in the operator cage.


Just a nice huge, rolling, telescoping 40-foot death-trap waiting to happen.

It's the kind of heavy equipment that you would expect only a trained, experienced, full-time operator with some kind of liscense would be allowed to come near, much less operate.

But hey, in the Brian Kelly regime, they'll let students get up there!

So just running this through my mind, I wonder: How come this kid didn't say either...

a. Fuck it. I'm not getting up in that thing TODAY!


b. Holy shit. I'm coming down right fucking now! Coach Kelly can eat it if he doesn't have the oh-so-crucial Wednesday 7-on-7 drills on tape!

Talk about a lack of supervision! A football coach is the undisputed ALPHA DOG of a football practice. I've seen it. He has a specific set of things each unit is supposed to work on, exact times to spend doing them, and a heirarchy of assistants to help execute them.

To pretend that maybe Kelly was unaware of the danger, is frankly, preposterous.

If you are responsible for the safety of your team and coaches during practice, there are only a few things you would be really worried about. Especially from a "what could actually KILL someone" standpoint?

Running my players into the summer heat could kill somebody.
Lightning could kill somebody.

And... "holy SHIT, it is windy, somebody is going to DIE if they go up in the video scissor towers today!"

But hey, maybe they'll keep Brian Kelly. Errrr, actually, there's a 99.9% chance they'll keep him. The University will probably end up saying "stupid kid, shouldn't have been tweeting when coach needed him to focus."

Or they will say somebody told him to use his good judgment if he felt it was unsafe. Or they will say the video department assistant is to blame. Or they will sue the lift maker.

But hey, they will wear a sticker on their helmets in his honor. So they've got that.....

I know this much: the next kid up in that rig, better be on a full scholarship.

Who's better kept secret?

Find out in today's poll

The best costumes are homemade.

Check this one out in today's Pix.

Complete And Utter Frauds

It is one thing to call a certain NFL player or coach "over-rated."

Mike Martz and Jay Cutler are FRAUDS.


I have never seen two guys who have been so irrationally hyped as Martz and Cutler.


Martz made his name by having 2 really hot years with the "Greatest Show on Turf" in St. Louis. Something, he's been chasing ever since. His "aggressive schemes" involve zero-protect blocking schemes, 5-wides, and requires perfect timing.


All it does, it produce offensive misery wherever he goes. Defenders of Martz point to sometimes gaudy numbers (like in Detroit, briefly) but it hasn't made for winning offensive football.

Now with Cutler, it's like the Sesame Street skit of the man falling down stairs with armfuls of cakes. The schemes Martz calls, don't protect. Cutler can't feel pressure very well. He dips his head once the pocket starts collapsing.

And then he throws balls into the other team's hands. Repeatedly.

But not that he cares. Witness the most idiotic comments by a starting NFL QB since Jeff George offered up the notion that "that leadership stuff, is all over-rated."

Here was Cutler on DeAngelo Hall, whose four-pick day won the game singlehandedly, nabbing him defensive player of the week honors, and sending his jersey to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
"I’ve played against him (Hall) before," Cutler said, at his own press conference. "There’s no reason to shy away from him. I mean, that’s hard for me to say, throwing four picks at a guy, but I’d still, if we had to play them tomorrow, I’d go at him every time, if we could."
You fucking dope.

I'm suprised fellow Bears haven't rolled him up in a carpet and dropped him into the Chicago river at midnight.

The combination of Cutler and Martz is truly one of the worst combos since Parker and Spitzer, Albert Belle and Frank Thomas, or Connie Chung and Dan Rather.'s Page 2 TMQ by Gregg Easterbrook sums it up thusly....

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Martz: Washington at Chicago offered six interceptions, eight fumbles and six sacks. Despite going into the contest with the league's most sacks allowed, the Bears sent five or four receivers into the pattern on almost every passing play, sometimes with no blocking help, other times with only a tailback, not a tight end or fullback, as an extra blocker. WTM!? ("What the Martz," to TMQ faithful.) On the 92-yard DeAngelo Hall interception return touchdown that provided the game's winning points, the Bears had six blockers for five rushers, yet no one touched Redskins defensive lineman Vonnie Holliday, who hit Jay Cutler as he released, causing the pick-six.

The Bears now have allowed a league-worst 31 sacks and are a miserable 15-of-84 on third downs. Counting sacks and scrambles, Mike Martz has called 261 passes and 141 rushes. How's that working out for you, Bears?

But hey, "give it time" as cockeyed football optimists always urge. Sure. Give it time.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tsunami Warning

I keep telling my like-minded conservative friends that there will be plenty of time for hi-steppin' next Wednesday and beyond, so let's not - in the immortal words of Winston Wolf in Pulp Fiction -"start (blank)ing each other's (blank)s just yet."

That said, when you have a nice comfy beach chair set up to watch the coming electoral tsunami, is it wrong to start slathering on some sunscreen?

Paddy Power Bookmakers in London, have already closed the window on any longshot bets the Democrats somehow hold onto the house. In fact, they have already PAID OUT those who bet on the Republicans capturing at least 39 seats.
“In our opinion this race is well and truly over with nothing short of a miracle stopping the Republicans taking down the House,” said Ken Robertson, communications manager for Paddy Power, the Irish bookmaker.

Mr. Robertson said the odds had tipped so much in Republicans’ favor it made no sense to continue taking bets. In July Democrats were favored 8-11 to keep control, but by Wednesday the GOP was favored 1-50, meaning it would take a bet of $50 would win just an addition $1.

One footnote, however, if you want to channel your inner Eeyore: Paddy Power also paid out Tiger Woods winning the PGA Championship against Y.E. Yang two summers ago. Doh!

Which side will leave the pitch victorious in Jolly Old England?

Cast your vote in this week's Football Poll.

King James is a Snicky???????

Find out how in today's Snicky

Wrangler won't dump Favre...

They've made some jeans just for him:

Check out more videos in As Seen On Czabe, part of the How I Roll page.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Aaron Rodgers Autographed Mini Helmet - Come and Get It!

With the holidays right upon us - you just know those Home Depot Christmas trees are going to be up the SECOND Halloween is over, if not already - you might want to think about a one-of-a-kind gift for that Packer fan you know.

Jeff's Sports has teamed up with us at to offer some truly unique, rare, and Wisconsin oriented items at "Czabe Hook-up" prices.

The special right now, is this Aaron Rodgers genuine, autographed mini-helmet.

Unlike the full sized helmets which are pricey ($200+ just for the helmet) these mini-helmets are great collectibles because they look great on your desk or bookshelf at home, and cost far less.

Knowing you've got a certified autographed mini-helmet from a bad-ass Packer QB who is NOT going to hold the entire state hostage with retirement drama and self-absorbed douchebaggery, is peace of mind!

As the Russian guy said: "I jump eeeen eeet!"

Interested in the Helmet? Click Here

I don't watch the show so I don't know their names

The Jacksonville Dolphins are Road Warriors

Jacksonville University takes their show on the road in Small School Ass Whippings of the Week:

Not That This Will Cost Anybody A Spot In the Playoffs, Or Anything

Instant Replay: “It Gets It Right”

Except when it doesn't.

Which is often.

But don't bring that up to replay supporters, because in their mind, every call that replay gets right, is somehow worth double the number of calls replay botches, or just misses altogether.

Like Obama claiming “jobs saved or created” it is a stacked, imaginary statistic.

“It gets it right.” Sure. Keep repeating that like a mantra, if it makes you feel good.

Except when it doesn't.

Or if you are out of challenges.

Or if the other team runs a play.

Or your coach forgets to throw the red flag.

Or if there's some other vague confusion going on that prevents a play from being meticulously re-constructed, pieced back together, and returned to officiating perfection.

Other than that, it's fantastic. So glad we have it. Soooooo, glad. (Ahem. Cough.)

This weekend was another example of replay's continued corrosive effect on the NFL and its rulesmakers and officiating crews. We are chasing a level of perfection that is wholly unattainable. And writing the rulebook into a dense tome of entangled definitions that make a mockery of the game.

When you hang a picture in your house, do you measure the nailhole from 6 different points on the wall, ceiling to floor, and diagonally too?

I don't. I eyeball where the picture looks like it should go, and hang it there. If that's off a bit, I move the nail a few inches one way or the other, and boom, job finished.

My wife, however, insists I take all kind of measurements.

Sometimes, the “technical center” of where a picture should be hung, actually doesn't look right. This might be because of how a window on the wall distorts your perceived “visual center” of the space.

This is like the Visanthe Shiancoe TD that was over-ruled by Scott Greene on Sunday night.

To the naked eye, it looked perfect. A masterpiece catch, hung squarely in the middle of a wall.

But nah, Mike McCarthy, playing the role of my wife, asked for 6 different precise measurements. Well, lo and behold, it was off by 2 inches. Change the nail-hole. Great, now it looks like shit.

UPDATE: The NFL admitted Monday, Scott Greene blew the call. WHILE LOOKING AT IT ON REPLAY! I await his 1-game suspension with baited breath.

Same thing on the Big Ben fumble.

To the naked eye, that's a fumble. Every day of the week. Especially on Sundays.

But I can guarantee that officiating crews themselves are less worried about getting it right on the on-field call, because they know they can just look at what happened in 30 frames per frozen high-def second under the hood.

And when they let their guard down like that, stupid shit ends up happening. Like, um, they forget to stay focused and rule who recovered the fumble – a fumble that they mistakenly thought was never going to be called a fumble, at least not until Gene Steratore put a few quarters into the replay machine and came back with the bad news:

“Fellas, it's a fumble. Who recovered.”
“Uh, I dunno, boss. We sorta forgot that.”


But hey, it only cost the Dolphins the game, and only gave Pittsburgh the win. And hey, what are the chances it could affect Miami's chances of getting into the playoffs, or Pittsburgh's hopes for home field advantage?

I'd say 80% chance it factors in one or both.

And that was why we supposedly HAVE replay in the first place. Because once upon a time, Dennis Erickson, who is a drunk, supposedly missed the playoffs and got fired, for one reason: we didn't have replay when Vinny Testaverde's helmet was stopped at the 1, and the Jets were given a TD to beat the Seahawks.


Erickson sucked, and hasn't coached in the NFL since, and instant replay is still botching otherwise basic plays that I can guarantee are going to have playoff implications.

The NFL needs to re-write, and re-apply its rules to be more “eyeball oriented” and not “frame-by-frame” oriented.

The ground SHOULD be able to cause a fumble. Hold onto it.

A catch that looks like a catch, IS a catch. Period. Those plays will even themselves out.

And personal fouls, better be something really, really mean. Like picking up a first down marker and bending it over the head of a runner who is 5 yards out of bounds and laid out on his back.

Just PUSHING a guy out of bounds, is NEVER to be considered a 15 yard penalty.

Percy Harvin is quicker and more frightening than having the squirts 8 steps away from a toilet. It is impossible to calibrate – while on the dead run as a defender – the precise moment he will cross over onto white paint.

And that's IF he even does. There's a chance he tiptoes down a 6 inch sliver of green, and goes another 40 yards, making you, the defender, look stupid.

Here's a better idea. Let's push all of the NFL's replay machines off a bridge and accept the fact that technology won't deliver officiating nirvana.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

You can take that to the window.

Four glistening gems for you gambling degenerates:

He's All Ours. Super.....

So the NFL trade deadline came and went this week.

Albert Haynesworth is still a Redskin.

This despite a reported offer of a 4th round pick from the Titans. Reportedly, the Redskins were insisting on at least a 2nd rounder.


Good thing Generalissimo Shanahan doesn't hold a grudge or anything, right? Because this makes a ton of sense.

Let's keep the guy around, so he can be a marginal, part-time, "nickel nose tackle."

And this is before the guy even gets hurt, or decides to cause a major distraction. Remember, he's been a NON-factor so far this year, and that was when he was TRYING to play well enough to be showcased for a trade.

There is no sensible end game with this guy. The offers for him this off-season are very unlikely to be anything more than a 4th rounder. His salary for next year - assuming there IS a next year - is $5.3 million. The Skins caught a break when Albert's mini-camp holdout voided the guaranteed part of that $5.3.

So, lets start with this simple conclusion: He won't be a Redskin next year. Period. Not at that price.

So who then will step up with even a 4th rounder? Other teams aren't stupid. They know Al will be a free agent again.

So just wait, if you want to get in biz with the fat guy.

Which is what has made Shanahan's handling of him all the more infuriating. I said cut him back in April. He's not that good, and the money is spent. Move on. Have a nice, clean, season. Good vibes.

But no, Generalissimo Shanahan decided to drag Albert all the way through the spring and summer, playing a game of "harass and hold." And I bit my tongue because I said I needed to give Shanahan a bit of a honeymoon. I said I needed to trust that they had an exit strategy, or at least would end this nonsense come the trading deadline.

But no, I was wrong.

This apparently was just a grudge match. A "I'll show you who's boss" contest.

Shanny won. Great.

How this makes us a better football team, I have no idea.


Another good opinion on this comes from emailer Chris Weatherly.

Perception (Skins fan) vs. Reality (Ravens fan) regarding Albert H.

The perception, and it’s accurate and valid, is that the Skins are a dysfunctional NFL franchise that will over pay players, then allow those over-paid players to do whatever they wish once in the garnet and gold.

Regardless of any benefit Haynesworth provides, the longer he stays on the team, the more this perception is supported and becomes reality.

NFL coaches who build Super Bowl winning franchises from nothing (Belichick, Parcells, Johnson), the first thing they do is get rid of any distraction (meaning and player not on board, regardless of talent, regardless of pay, regardless of reputation).

Emotionally invested Redskins fans, of which I am becoming, are not able to logically kick this fat lard to the curb.

The longer Albert stays, the more likely it is that Snyder is still calling the shots.

LAST ADD: The real mystery is, how much did Snyder lean on Shanny to not "give in" to Haynesworth? We'll never know for sure. My hunch is that Shanny and Snyder BOTH relished the chance to hold a grudge. So there wasn't much "selling" needed.


Tired of playing Czabeshambo? Try the equally challenging My Idiot Kicker

Who hasn't been a Train Wreck as expected?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Closer to the deep end

Cast you vote in this important poll here

Extra! Extra!

Read all about it in today's Pix.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

It's a battle Up North...

Who will you pick in this week's Football Poll.

Good Thing Umpires Are Not Eye Doctors

Because they would likely push you out the door with coke bottle glasses saying.. "eh, that's close enough!"

How on earth can these guys be so fucking blind, as to MISS both a foul-ball vs. home run call last night (thankfully overturned) and yet also miss ANOTHER case of clear fan interference when Nelson Cruz almost has his GLOVE STOLEN by this mouthy poster boy for "Why I Hate Yankee Fans."

They ADD two umpires for the playoffs, whose ONLY job is to watch the foul line, foul, pole, and home runs for fan interference!

And they STILL can't do their job right!

Good grief. And when replay doesn't even look at the fan interference call, then why bother having it?

Luckily, the Yankees lost, and from a karmic standpoint, all is right with the world.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Now they're both single

You Just Knew...

.... it was going to get the royal, Taiwanese animator treatment!

Monday, October 18, 2010

That looks just like...

Find out who in today's Pix.

Czabe's Jumble

Unscramble the letters to find out who today's Snicky is.

The Most Interesting Coach in The World

Les Miles vs. "Dos Equis Man"

>>He once played an April Fools joke ...on 92,000 people October
>> He once scored a TD on a fake FG, so 3 years later he added a bounce pass to it, just to see if he could
>> He is mentally challenged and still able to challenge you mentally
>> He has been undefeated in regulation (2007), and defeated in regulation (TN), while still being undefeated.
>> He drinks tabasco to warm up the ice in his veins.
>> The only man to ever lose to and defeat a 10-3 Defense at the same time.
>> He has never seen a glass half empty, only one he wants to be full.
>> He uses the word "want" as both a verb and noun in the same sentence.
>> He will build a lead at half and then let the other team come back just to make things interesting.
>> He once bought a thesaurus, just to throw it away.
>> He once simplified an offense that opposing defenses have already figured out...
>> His organ donor card also lists his hat...
>> He has never lost a game, he only finishes second.
>> He once recruited the top QB in the land, just to prove he could play wide receiver.
>> He can make comparisons about the excitement of reading books without ever having read one.
>> He recruits 5 star talent simply to keep other schools from having it.
>> His hat has turned down head coaching offers.
>> He hates the guy who doesn't make the coffee and complains about how it tastes.
>> He once lost in overtime, just to know what it felt like to be undefeated in regulation.
>> He manages the clock by forgetting it's even there
>> He has a want to get a guy more touches without actually wanting to get a guy more touches.

(Hat tip to Rob in Dothan, AL for this gem!)

Sunday, October 17, 2010

It's A Miracle!

But somehow, the Redskins - with the "best fans in the world" (sez Joe Gibbs) and something like 255 straight "sellouts" have magically "found" a FEW face value tickets against the Colts tonite.

And they are so hot, so coveted, that they are only going to let all 200,000 or so people on their "email list"... errr... "season ticket waiting list" have a crack at them.

Uh huh....

Train Wreck

The following from Mr. X, my baseball gambling fanatic, about how Ron Washington ... ahem... "engineered" .... the final innings of Texas' Game 1 debacle. Remember, Mr. X does have money on Texas in this series, FWIW.

Here was his scathing email to me....

Seriously ---forget my $...that was the worst F'n managing I've ever seen. EVER.
Herm Edwards needs to call Ron Washington - "You play to WIN THE GAME".
As he paraded out the END of his bullpen in the 8th, and left his 2 best RP on the bench - my txts were ringing loudly.
CA - says, "why is he throwing his bums?"
WI - says, "wtf is he doing, he's over-managing".
Most baseball 2nd guessing is crap. Leave Pedro in? Take him out? Tough calls.
This was stupid. He managed like it was JUNE! Ah, big lead, good time to get some other guys in?
You throw Ogundo in the 8th, Feliz in the 9th, you are up 1-0!
He parades out the end of his bullpen in this L/R crap, and you end up losing and NEVER USING YOUR TWO BEST RP to protect a lead?
No excuse. Just stupid.
Ahh, and it was all set up for CJ to win 1-5 and snatch that MVP.
I guess we're not allowed to call him stupid, right? Because ---well, you know why!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

All aboard for Moneytown!

Jimmy promised you picks, Jimmy gives you picks:

Friday, October 15, 2010

Ride His Ass, Or He Can Ride The Bench

The fact that Gilbert Arenas is a responsibility-proof, needy, emotional child does not bother me.

We have known that for a while now.

What bothers me, is how the Wizards still coddle him.

Okay, so he lied to Flip Saunders about an injury, so his buddy Nick Young could get more playing time.


Fine. Whatever. This is what idiot athletes do. They fail entirely to grasp the exact how's and why's this is a very bad thing to do.

It's a bad thing to do because when a coach is told by a player that he is injured and cannot play, a coach must trust 100% that his player is being honest and respect that preventing further injury trumps any or all concerns about making a star player earn his millions on a given night.

Trust. It's a trust thing, Gil.

So guess what, you just violated that trust. For what? More attention?

Now, the next time you say your knee hurts - which given your surgeries, will probably be every 3rd night for the rest of your career - and that you can't play, who is going to believe you?

How will we know that you aren't just taking the night off to let John Wall score more points, or because you were up late feeding your pet bull sharks at home?

Now, every night you need off because of a LEGITIMATE injury issue, there will be a certain portion of the fan base who thinks you are once again, totally full of shit.

What good does that do your reputation?

But thinking more than 5 minutes down the road, has never been Gil's strong suit. To say this guy lacks the ability to see the "big picture" is the understatement of the year.

No, all of this is not enough to get me riled up.

It bothers me that the Wizards are not willing to RIDE HIS ASS over things like this. I mean, call him out LOUDLY and do so in public. Stop tip-toe-ing around Gil's fragile ego and emotions. What good has it done so far?

Suspend his ass. Hard.

If you want more of the same, keep doing what you have been doing. And apparently the Wizards want more of the same. Because to only "fine" him an "undisclosed" amount does nothing.

This is a guy who spent $1.5 million on his own 25th birthday party.

They fined him. A fine?


We are stuck with this guy for $80 million over the next four years. If you can't stomach cutting him loose, and cutting him that monster check, then stop treating him like he still holds all the cards.

Ladies, Gentleman, Gambling Degenerates...

Due to his dazzling success, Jimmy "Masterlock" Dugans has drawn the ire of the United Bookmakers of America.
In order to acquiesce to their very reasonable and wholly legal demands, Jimmy will be releasing his Week 6 Craction picks no earlier than 6 am EDT, Saturday, October 16th.

Check back here tomorrow to climb aboard the Jimmy Train and take it to your man!

She was a co-host with this guy.

Find out in today's Snicky

Narcissistic? Moi?

Due to a technical snafu we need to start the Facebook thing from scratch...Please join now, or tomorrow, but sometime this week or this month. Click the Facebook icon above and you'll be directed to the new Facebook page - You have our gratitude.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Hardin-Simmons brings the Payne

This week's installment of Small School Ass Whippings:

Well the flags look sort of similar

Find out who stars in today's poll

More effective than a half nelson...

Check out this amazing wrestling move in today's Pix.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

You Have Our Gratitude

Due to a technical snafu we need to start the Facebook thing from scratch...Please join now, or tomorrow, but sometime this week or this month. Click the Facebook icon above and you'll be directed to the new Facebook page - You have our gratitude.

One if by Rice, two if by Brady.

Cast your vote in this week's Football poll.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Time for a mid-life crisis

This could get expensive...check out the latest Czabecast:

Well, how would you list these?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Well, I Think We Can Say We Know His 'Type'

Brett Favre's heavily protected image - Peter King and ESPN have been like Saddam's Republican Guard - is about to get laid out like the infamous Chuck Bednarik hit on Frank Gifford.

There's no way out on this one, especially when Favre's best answer to "Junkgate" is "that it will take it's course."

Oh, that, it will.

And there's likely no happy ending at the end of it all.

Best case - and let's admit this is a fantasy - is that somehow the investigation unearths an exonerating smoking gun (elaborate Deadspin hoax?) and the NFL clears him fully.


He somehow presses through this major distraction, and gets healthy as the season wears on. Randy Moss starts providing instant dividends, and the Vikes rally to win the division.

That's a pretty tall order, isn't it?

More likely, Favre will have to issue a blanket mea culpa, that admits to the least amount of guilt possible. The NFL will probably wuss out and fine him only - no suspension - and he'll limp through the rest of the season, with his head swimming with guilt and distraction, taunting signs at every road game.

The Vikings will struggle to 9-7, and either miss the playoffs, or get bounced in the first round, and Favre can slunk back to Mississippi forever, confident that Ryan Longwell and his "Band of Brothers" won't ever come back looking for him again in August.

But then, there's the "big dream" if you are a Favre hater, and think this douchebag deserves the ultimate career "crash and burn."

It goes something like this.

The Favre allegations and evidence only gets WORSE in the next few weeks, and he has to admit to essentially all of it. The NFL, caught in their suddenly pious stance on women in the workplace (Inez Saenz) is forced to suspend him.

Rather than have the inglorious and indelible wikipedia footnote of "Brett Favre's consecutive games played streak was ended by a league suspension over photos of his penis being sent to a Jets sideline reporter", he'll just quit.

What does he care?

Any notion that this narcissistic me-first asshat cares about others, should be thoroughly debunked by now.

He doesn't.

The Vikes get crushed tonite. Favre plays like ass. Quits by Wednesday, and the legacy has turd stains that never fully go away.

If you hate Favre, that could happen. You just gotta dream a little.

Speaking of dreaming... I've collected some of the interweb's finest Jenn Sterger pics.

You are welcome.


There Is No 1099 Line Item Here

Apparently, whores are not deductible. Damn IRS! Damn you to hell!

There are two "D's"

Solve the puzzle in today's Pix.

Today's Snicky Clue is...

Friday, October 8, 2010

Scraping the bottom of the barrel

Jimmy Masterlock Dugans' Week 5 "0-4 to 4-0 Special"

"It's The Uncertainty, Stupid"

Charles Krauthammer crystallizes nicely just how staggeringly incompetent the Democrats are. Despite record majorities in both houses of Congress, they can't do shit. And yet, a good chunk of people will still go pull the lever for them next month.


Put simply: The Democrats have our nation's checkbook, ATM card, credit card, and on-line banking passwords. They have been bouncing checks like crazy. There are a dozen collection agencies calling us at all hours of the night. They are banging at our door.

And what do the Democrats do? Run away.

The rest of us are begging, pleading for some fiscal sanity. Hell, just some clarity would be nice. Are you going to raise taxes? If so, let us know, and we'll adjust accordingly. (You don't think were just going to sit there and take it in the face, do you?)

For the first time since modern budgeting was introduced with the Budget Act of 1974, the House failed to even write a budget. This in a year of extraordinary deficits, rising uncertainty and jittery financial markets. Gold is going through the roof. Confidence in the dollar and the American economy is falling -- largely because of massive overhanging debt. Yet no budget emerged from Congress to give guidance, let alone reassurance, about future U.S. revenues and spending.

As if this were not enough, Congress adjourned without even a vote -- nay, without even a Democratic bill -- on the expiring Bush tax cuts. This is the ultimate in incompetence. After 20 months of control of the White House and Congress -- during which they passed an elaborate, 1,000-page micromanagement of every detail of American health care -- the Democrats adjourned without being able to tell the country what its tax rates will be on Jan. 1.

It's not just income taxes. It's capital gains and dividends, too. And the estate tax, which will careen insanely from 0 to 55 percent when the ball drops on Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Nor is this harmless incompetence. To do this at a time when $2 trillion of capital is sitting on the sidelines because of rising uncertainty -- and there is no greater uncertainty than next year's tax rates -- is staggeringly irresponsible.

And no, the Republicans were not much better prior to losing the purse strings in 2006. But they weren't this bad. Not even close. So of course you have to vote to punish the Democrats for this spend-a-thon that has crippled the country's balance sheets. Of course you have to rout them in a manner which sends a generational message for the next 25 years.

And of course, you have to hold the new Republican congress by the throat to actually get something done when it comes to slashing spending, and canceling Uncle Sam's already over-leveraged credit cards.

It's no guarantee it'll get any better. But it can't get any worse. It is literally, our only hope.

The W represents today's Snicky

Click to Find Out Who

Repair Your Ball Marks, Chops!

Get out that divot tool!