Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Tom Emansky Drills Video: FOR KICKBALL!

Wha waaa... whaaaaaa???


Well played, internet prankster with a camcorder, overweight buddies, and iMovie.

Well played.....

Snicky du Jour: Lindsey Vonn (Again!?)

Yes... again!

Sorry... she just keeps posing for great photos, like this one above for Vogue Magazine.

And to think what *other* living room furniture Tiger might have her "utilize" when they are alone, is enough to send the mind racing....

And here's some more...

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Here's Why Donovan McNabb Is No Way In Hell a Hall of Famer

He's out of football.

At 36.

End of argument.

In an era when guys like him should be killing it from 36-40 years old with all of their experience, combined with the fact that you can't touch quarterbacks OR wide receivers anymore, McNabb is reduced to hosting a radio show.

Despite a severe lack of decent veteran QB's in the league, and an insistence that he'd "lost 20 pounds" and was in great shape, the phone went eerily silent on ol' #5.

Not. A. Hall. Of. Famer.

When the Shanahans said he wasn't in shape after 3 games as a Redskin, they were right. When word leaked out that he refused to wear a wristband with plays on it, because he thought it would bring up the old dreaded "dumb black QB" stereotype, it shed a lot of light on who McNabb really was as a player.

When other very close sources told me he routinely botched play calls/formations in the huddle, it shed even more light on why he flameout here was so quick.

Oh yeah, Tom Brady and Eli Manning have used, or now use wristbands. So I don't think anybody was going to call you names, Donovan.

Was he very, very good? Of course. Super Bowl appearance, good numbers, more exciting early as a dual threat than he was as a more conventional passer. But not even close to the Hall.

The Eagles will retire his #5 this year. I even thought that was a stretch, but okay, I guess I can see it.

But hey, good luck on that radio thing.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Bob and Brian Open Weekend #21 - Recap

Still Milwaukee's "Big Units" all these years later. Bob Madden, Steve Czaban, Brian Nelson.
Another great trip to Wisconsin. Golf. Booze. Friends. Fun.

And...... COLD!

Good, lord! I mean, really. Really?

So we at least got the B&B Open - Presented by Leinenkugels "in" this year (we were due for a drencher, and we got it!) but it certainly lacked the "festiveness" of all the previous Opens played in spectacular July sunshine and pleasant mid-70's temps.

In fact, by my thermometer, we woke up Friday at Grand Geneva in the high 50's... and never got better than 70 until my boy Gitter noted with deadpanned sarcastic enthusiasm on Sunday at 6:09 p.m.: "Oh, hey. It's finally 70 degress. Super."
The boys with Carrie Wendt in studio. (NOTE: Carrie embargoed me posting any pictures besides this one. #boo!)
That's three straight days of October weather, in July. Damndest thing I ever did see. But, at least I now got my "fall trip" to your neck of the woods, out of the way.

The Bloody Horns 3 went off without a hitch. I can't say thanks enough to Dave Bachmann Jr. at The Bull at Pinehurst Farms. I have much more media to follow, but let's first tip the cap to our winners below.

These kids can flat out BALL their dimples! (Go with it, I just made it up!) I can't wait for them to join us in Vegas for CzabeVegas and play golf, becuase we are going to HUSTLE the living crap out of some high rollers out there.

Winners: RJ Schwalbach and Brian Balistierri.
Brian is a local club professional, and RJ an amatuer. Neither one has a swing you would call "classic" by any means, but RJ in particular just MURDERS the ball. Might be, pound-for-pound the longest hitter of any amatuer I've ever seen.

With damn rainpants falling to the ground as he gives it a mightly lash.

Sheesh. Kids today...

Anyhow, they outlasted Eric Madlung and Mike O'Neil in a very taught 5-hole sudden death playoff with about 40 people watching from their carts. Always good fun when that happens! At one point, Madlung had a tournament winning putt just HANG on the lip, in complete defiance of gravity.

Amazing. Agonizing. Tough break fellas.

Balistierri cuts a drive into the teeth of a stiff wind on the nearly impossible 18th at The Bull.

Schwalbach simply destroys a drive downwind on #10. Note the pants.
So that's a wrap for now, until I return this September for the Redskins game against the Packers. We'll see if we can organize some kind of meet-and-greet up at Lambeau. I truly do appreciate being an "adopted" Wisconsinite after all of these years.

Sorry my super awesome QB is going to set a new QB rushing record at Lambeau on that reconstructed knee (I'm guessing 232 with 2 scores).

Thanks to Boucher Automotive for providing me a luxurious new Suburban to haul me around this weekend, thanks to Gitter for both driving everywhere and also the utterly silly uniforms he made us wear at the Bloody Horns. Thanks to GM Annmarie Topel and PD Joe Calgaro for taking care of all of my diva-like demands.

And one last thing: take it easy on Ryan Braun, okay Brewer fans? He's still gonna be your best slugger when he comes back. You don't have to love him, but I think he'll still produce.

Me and Gitter, wearing his unfortunate choice of "Team Cap" for the Bloody Horns. We shot 78, good for 10th.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

"The Dogs Bark, But the Caravan Moves On"

You stay classy, Andy Polli!
Thirteen years with Andy Pollin from 4-7 p.m. on Sportstalk 980 here in DC.

It will end next Wednesday.

If you have enough juice in radio as a host to call your own shots, you probably should be retired and on a beach somewhere. As such, you play to the whistle, or in our line of work - talk until they kick you out.

Andy knows this. I know this. It was still a great run.

“Thirteen years, three ownership groups, six program directors, two buildings, five engineers, a flooded control room,” Czaban remembered. “We have been through so much together, and I’ve enjoyed absolutely every minute of it, not just you but all of our rotating guests who have come in as the third wheel sports reporter….You are the most professional radio person I’ve ever been with….And it’s been a great run. I know that you have plenty left in you, and you have more things you’re going to do in the market.

“Your knowledge of Redskins history and games and people and players is irreplaceable. It’s the deepest mental archive in the market. And more importantly, you have presided in front of this microphone [during] all of the little mini dramas involving the teams, coaches, athletes, players in this city, and that’s what sports radio is about. It’s there to chronicle the nonsense that goes on….That is going to be impossible to replace.”

It's what I said on the air Tuesday, and I meant every word of it. Eventually we were going to wander our separate ways, I just expected to confront that decision at the end of the football season when both of our contracts were up for renewal. The station wanted a jump on the new venture with Cooley on board, and so away we go.

Andy and I would bicker like an old married couple on air, I know. But it never got disrespectful because we are both pros. We have such different interests and passions, yet we are both very much alike, in ways only those who joined us in the studio as our rotating guest would know from the incredible and hilarious discussions that never made air. (Thank god!)

I think Cooley is going to be very good. Just don't quote me on how long he'll last, because with all ex-jocks, the concept of "every day" is completely foreign to them. But the fun thing is, I won't hesistate to bust Cooley's balls on air by saying "aren't you sick of this yet, Chris?"

As for Galdi I am very happy he is on board to "run the boat" so to speak. He's a tireless grinder, with tons of untapped talent ready to burst through. It's like I work for HIM now! Ha! I couldn't be more proud.

And hell yes, plenty of wrestling talk with Al's incomparable "Off the Top Rope" segment! I love it.

Al will depart the morning show on Yahoo! with me and Scott, because he now has a real job and a life. Everyone is happy for him. Hopefully we can get a "walk on" from time to time.

The mourning process now begins for every listener we have accumulated and kept for 13 years in afternoon drive. I don't want to minimize that by saying in an annoyingly chipper way: "Oh, you're going to LOVE the new show!"

Because you aren't. You are going to hate it.

Then curse it. Then give it another try. And hopefully over the proving ground of day after day, you will love it. But we plan to earn it from everybody.

Al Galdi bangs out another flawless update. He'll capably run "The Drive" with me and Cooley.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Bloody Horns Field Sheet

We are locked and loaded for Bloody Horns 3 at The Bull at Pinehurst Farms!

Excited to see all of you golfing masochists back again for another fun (read: brutal!) day out there taking on Jack Nicklaus' most extreme design challenges.

I have a few twosomes who have not submitted their partner's name. If you are one of them, email me chop chop! (So to speak...)

If you know of these clowns, get a hold of them and tell them to get on the stick and answer their emails!

NOTE: These are NOT the "pairings". I will post those once I get everyone's names, and try to accommodate all pairing requests!

Something About Phil

What is it about Phil Mickelson, that prevents him from being universally liked - nay, loved - by golf fans and the media?

What about him could possibly make some people in the media and some golf fans actively root for him to fail (again) in majors, and to take giddy delight when he does?

I know, I know. I myself have dubbed him "Nipples McSoft" (in a more doughy time of his) and blasted his "Father of the Year" stunts like skipping the Tour Championship to go trick-or-treating with his kids.

I know.

But I always gave him his due on the course. And I always made sure to say that we are all hypocrites as fans and media when it comes to athletes who are simply too nice, too classy, or too graceful in defeat.

I think Phil draws this sort of fire because he really does appear to be, "too good to be true." I mean, the guy signs way too many autographs (even so yesterday before and after he won the Claret Jug!) he's too good with the media, and handles his own golfing fuck ups with simply too much grace and humanity to be real.

But it is, mostly real.

He's a prince. A helluva family man. And yeah, a goofball.

I think that's where Phil draws his anti-Phil incoming fire. He's not a "phony" - there's simply no alternate resume of incidents which would say he's an asshole when the cameras are turned off. He's just a goofball. A cheeseball. Dork.

And if that's the biggest knock against a man, well then, you are doing pretty well.

If Phil just cut that hair, stopped making the rest of us fathers look utterly derelict by comparison, and found just a little bit harder "edge" to his persona (not much, just a single notch on a big dial in the direction of "jerk") I would be a hard core Phil Phanatic.

I'm not. Likely never will be. But I am happy when he wins like this. He deserves it, and golf is a sport of perseverance.

I remember when many golf writers too not-so-subtle delight in him being "0-for-43" in majors before winning the Masters in 2004. It was asinine and I didn't get it.

Being good in sports, and being a good guy, carries an extra burden in the world we live in these days. A burden to somehow prove it's not "an act." If you fail to match the media's snarkiness over your failures with equal bite, you start to become an easy target.

Phil's no easy target now. He's climbing the pantheon of greats to ever play the game.

5 Majors - including 3 of the 4
6 Seconds at the US Open
43 Tour Wins, 1 every year for the last 10 years and 18 of his last 20!
US Amateur Title
Won a pro event as a collegian
Been on every US team event (Ryder and Presidents Cup) since he turned pro, and will likely do so until he's 50. With Tiger's injury hiatus stopping his streak, nobody will own a longer streak in the post-Nicklaus era. Ever.

And he's the single best short game magician the game has ever seen. Period. Full stop.

Seve was magical in his own way, but had none of the aerial arsenal Phil has with all of his flop shots.

Perfect wife. Perfect kids. She beat cancer. He's beating back auto-immune arthritis. One loyal caddy through all of it. Generous with his time, money, and media availability.

It's okay to "hate" him for that. It's natural. Just remember to keep it the kind of "hate" where you say: "Oh... I hate that guy. Look at his life!"

Friday, July 19, 2013

British Open Day 1 Videos

Kudos to ESPN and the EXCELLENT work they are doing over at Muirfield. All the toys, bells, whistles, flight trackers, super-slo-mo's, airial shots and what not.

Top notch, TOP NOTCH!

Enjoy the above montage/opener on what sets Scots apart from any other culture in the world. They are indeed, a charming, warm, and likeable sort.

And below, you will see that indeed Tiger Woods is NOT the only Tour player to throw clubs and act like an ass. Some players I have NEVER, ever seen throw a club, and I don't think it's in their makeup emotionally (Mickelson, Els, Couples, to name of a few from the modern era) - but CHUCK SCHWARTZEL!

C'mon, man!

That 6-iron "got debacled!"

Thursday, July 18, 2013

"This Is Your Weed Holder...."

Classic. The one day per year, and ONLY day, in which athletes are NOT treated by ESPN as the infallibly good and wonderful idols SportsCenter makes them out to be.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Muirfield 101 - Czabe Style

Last August me and 7 other knuckleheads made a pilgrammage to the "old sod."


Ancestral home of golf.

It was, without qualification, awesome.

Here was the "raw" video of our tour of Muirfield, site of this year's Open Championship. People always ask me: "So, how was it? Was it as great a layout as everyone says."

My answer is basically "yes" but with a caveat. I played like shit that day. Just couldn't put the ball reliably in play, and as such it wasn't much fun. As you can see from the video, the rough was INSANE. Deep enough to lose your sheep.

And since that part of Scotland had been enjoying a very wet summer, the course was un-naturally green. In fact, it played almost like a very nicely manicured American-style "farmland" course - with pot bunkers.

This is not how Muirfield is supposed to play. There was no hump and bump, bounce and roll. So we sorta got "cheated" in that regard to the conditions. On a positive note, a tough day would have been rendered miserable if the place was firm and fast.

Plus, it was relatively warm, almost a touch humid. And believe me, I didn't feel cheated at all by not getting a brutal Scottish summer storm like they did in 2002 at The Open.

The club has a reputation of being very snooty, and tough to get on and play. But our group packager made sure to line our trip up to take advantage of the one day of the week (Tuesday) they allow tourist play. We had the option to play 36 at the club, where in the morning you play your own ball and after lunch in the clubhouse (MANDATORY coat and tie! fuggetaboutit!) you go back out for a "brisk" 2-ball (alternate shot).

We said "no thanks" to that, and re-routed down the road about 25 minutes to play North Berwyk - an utterly phenemonal place that is under-the-Scotland-radar for most Americans.

In all, I thought Muirfield was utterly sweet. I would have loved to have played better. And seen it firm and fast. But at least they didn't confiscate my camcorder and smash it to bits!


If you wanted the sappy-peppy-syrupy "overall trip recap" video from our 10 courses in 10 days in Scotland, well here you go!

Our 10 day, 10 course tour of every major British Open venue in Scotland - in about 3 1/2 minutes. If it looked like fun... well... you don't know the half of it!

Lindsay Vonn Plays Tag Along With Tiger

Nice jacket, girl. Going skiing later?

Stupidity Runs In the Family

So the Pouncey Brothers think former college teammate Aaron Hernandez is getting a raw deal.

Or, well, their HATS think that.


My first thought was: "Gee, if only we could PAY kids like this real MONEY while in college, just because they are playing football. Why that would be so moral, and just, and have no un-intended consequences."

Meanwhile,'s Jason Whitlock delivers a 1000 pound laser guided bomb on this nonsense in his latest column.
The Pounceys should donate to Hernandez’s defense fund, financially support Hernandez’s child and baby’s mama, visit and/or write Hernandez while he’s incarcerated, and provide emotional support to Hernandez’s family. 
Any and all of that would make perfect sense and be a way of not abandoning a dear friend in grave trouble. 
Hitting a nightclub while wearing mindlessly rebellious “Free Hernandez” baseball caps is straight from the in-your-face, shock-value, prison culture/hip hop culture playbook. It screams the Pounceys place no value on Odin Lloyd’s life. He’s just another dead N-word who got his cap peeled by a homie.
I’m sure they’re good kids. They’re swept up in a culture they don’t fully understand and don’t fully respect its impact. The rap music industry, the record labels and the commercial artists preach a message to young black people that expressing the most unethical, intimidating, violent, divisive and classless behavior — characteristics necessary to survive incarceration — are success tools in America’s free society. 
As the father of rap music, Dahveed Nelson, said in my column on Monday, commercial rappers are high-paid collaborators to bait black youth to act like N-words. The Pounceys have only swallowed a tiny bit of the bait. But they’ve swallowed enough to think it’s cool and appropriate to support an alleged murderer with hats that trivialize the death of a 27-year-old black man. Imagine the offense they might take if they’d stopped at a club in December and Tom Brady was wearing a free George Zimmerman hat. 
Oh yes, indeed! Can you imagine? Or how about a "Free Ray Carruth" hat?


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Retire The Trophy On This One

And we're not talking SMALL market news, either!

And to think that ESPN News anchor Max Bretos (whose wife is Asian!) got a one month suspension for simply using "chink in the armor" without any smart-assert while discussing the shortcomings in Jeremy Lin's basketball game.

You can blame all the flunky PA's and interns you like, Channel 2, but the dippy woman who read that full screen graphic without any hint that something was wrong, should be sent packing today.

And not even for racial insensitivity!

For being too stupid to sit in front of a camera!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Snicky du Jour: Megyn Kelly

Not that Fox News is lacking any snicky power, but the lovely Ms. Kelly has been given a new prime time slot. To which I say an emphatic: giggity!

Recently she did a photo shoot for GQ's Man of the Year Issue, and wowza!

Then a quick Google search found many, many, many more lovely jpg's of this very smart, very sexy, conserva-babe.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Get Herpes And Go Away Already, You Loser!

Lance Easley is like many Americans: he'll take any amount of fame, even stupid dysfunctional fame, for 15 minutes rather than just get on with his life.

Easley was the guy who famously f'ed up the Packer-Seahawk game by ruling Golden Tate's last second "hey look my hand is in here!" supposed TD catch was "simultaneous possession". 


From the moment it happened. Today. Tomorrow. Forever.

Easley agreed to comically "referee" the Richard Sherman charity softball game this past weekend. Never mind that softball has something called "umpires" not referees. Never mind that Richard Sherman is a mouthy clown whose team didn't even make the NFC Championship game, much less win the Super Bowl.

Nah. Just  squeeze that dirty bar rag of fame one last time to see what juice is left in it.

It was a light-hearted moment for the ref who is praised in Seattle and loathed in Green Bay for his call to end the Monday night game. The “Fail Mary” is one of the lasting images from last season and served as the final straw to bring a resolution between the league and the referee’s union putting an end to the replacement officials. Despite being thrust into the limelight, Easley remains steadfast that his call was the right one and says he wouldn’t change anything about the game or the ensuing fallout.

“I wouldn’t change anything,” Easley said. “I can’t. The NFL upheld it. I’ve looked at plenty of video. I’ve talked to my replay guys, and there was nothing that could turn it over.

“It was just one of those calls that will live in NFL history.”

Easley said the scrutiny of the replacement officials in the media was something they were aware of and that it affected his decision-making process on the play.
“If I regret anything I probably would have talked it over a little bit with my partner,” Easley said. “I thought he saw the same thing but because of the media and the way they were getting after us every week and the pressure, I thought to myself ‘OK, I know what I have. If we talk about it the media is going to crucify us like look at those idiots, they don’t know what they’re doing.’”
As one commenter succinctly put it: "Oh, so you still think it was the right call? Then how come....

a. The play is called the "Fail Mary"
b. The real refs returned to work basically the next day?

"I have no further questions, your honor."

Had Easley admitted he blew the call, and gone about his life I would cut him some slack. Even if he and his scabs DID willingly take jobs they KNEW they were NOT qualified for, compromising their brothers-in-stripes negotiating position with the NFL, and clearly affecting the legitimacy of the outcomes while they were working.

But no. This dumb prick just won't go away.

I wish him aggressive Stage 5 lip and penis herpes.

Goodbye, Lance. You suck.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Rory vs. The Robot

Another top-shelf gem from the promo people at the European Tour.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

"He Was A Snotty Little Brat, But Could Play Baseball Alright for A Kid With Pipe Cleaner Arms..."

Vintage. Straight from the "Mean Streets" of McLean, VA.

Hope You Exercised Your Freedoms This Weekend...

..... because you never know when one of them will suddenly be gone with the simple wave of the emperor's hand.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Happy 4th of July!

Heidi Montag
Maria Menounos
Janet Jackson
Jessica Simpson

Kate Upton

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Win Golf Tournament, Vegas Awaits!

Last year's champs of the Bloody Horns Open, Neil Sackerson and Josh Sparks, show off their sexy-big-time-winnings at the Hard Rock during March's CzabeVegas.

The rest, I've been told by the gentleman, "was a blur."

And no further photo evidence of their visit exists. Hmmm, isn't that interesting?

That said, we have a few spots left for your chance at glory, and Vegas. (see below). Join me and the fellas at The Bull on Sunday after the Bob and Brian Open. Even if you don't win the 2 nights and 2 rounds of golf at CzabeVegas 2013 (airfare not included) grand prize, you can always say you did battle with one of the toughest, most picturesque golf courses in all of Wisconsin.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Robot Soccer Is No Threat To Real Soccer.... Yet...

...but give it until 2050 (or in my estimation 2040 more likely).... and a robot soccer team could beat one of the best teams in the world made of humans.
RoboCup pledges on its official website that "By [the] mid-21st century, a team of fully autonomous humanoid robot soccer players shall win [a] soccer game, complying with the official rule of the FIFA, against the winner of the most recent World Cup."

To play, the robots use different kicks for passing and shooting and they communicate their position to each other through wireless Internet connections. Each robot is capable of playing every position equally well and are able to seamlessly shift roles. For example, goalkeepers are able to come out and play as strikers. Also, reportedly when a robot gets a shot on a goal it very rarely misses.
The easiest part of the programming? Flopping protocol.