"So Tense You Could Hardly Breathe"

It's not often that you can say: "And I was there..."

Thankfully, yes, thankfully... I can say that about Sunday's epic USA collapse at the Ryder Cup here at Medinah CC outside of Chicago.

I stood on a folding chair, deeply embedded in enemy territory (more on that in a minute) on the International VIP Pavillion just off the 18th green, and watched as Martin Kaymer reclaimed a large chunk of German golfing pride by gutting the tricky 8 footer that eluded countryman Bernhard Langer some 21 years ago at Kiawah.

To say that it was intense, does not do the moment justice.

And that was before I began drowning my partisan USA sorrows in complimentary Crown Royal and diets.

As Steve Stricker and Kaymer came to the 18th green, a collective understanding of the match was shared among everyone huddled together. To say it was intense would be an understatement.

As I stood, I felt my chest tighten. My knees got wobbly (maybe it was the folding chair) and it was so tense you could hardly breathe.

Go ahead. Mock me. That's fine.

Either you play golf, and have had a match at some level and felt the pressure of the game, or you have not.

If you haven't, you just don't understand, and that's okay.

So after Stricker made his 12 footer to put the world on Kaymer's shoulders, I stood witness to the loudest roar of my golfing life. And to think it was the VISITING fans who exploded when Kaymer buried his Langer-esque dance with golfing destiny.

A bitter defeat? Of course. But I root for sporting spectacle, magic, and this great game above all else.

Golf was a huge winner on Sunday. I'm okay with that.

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Scott Linn and Y! Sports Affiliate Director Josh Vexler in front of 17th tee.

Ryder Cup 2012: Medinah

Okay, so I'll come clean. This is NOT the actual/actual Ryder Cup.

It is a "genuine replica" in memorabilia terms.

Which means it's a Ryder Cup ISSUED trophy that goes to the winning Captain each year. This particular item belonged to Dave Marr Jr. who captained the 1981 US Team at Walton Heath. His son, Dave Marr III - who does work for the Golf Channel - was walking around outside our hotel with it, as the item is now in his care since his father passed away

I even kissed it.

Which made Mr. Marr a wee bit uneasy. (I wiped it off... come on!)

I always thought that there was a huge market for TRUE replica trophies (i.e. cheap) that could be sold to fans. However, after doing some research, I realized that such items are heavily suppressed by lawyers for the entities who award such trophies (i.e. NFL for the Lombardi, the PGA for the Ryder Cup, the Academy of the Oscars etc.) so that you just can't find good trophy replicas on the web.

Which is, I suppose, a good thing. It would only cheapen the real trophy, if every jackshine Steeler fan had 6 really good aluminum replicas of the Lombardi in his basement, as a cost of $199 each.

That's why when I saw this lovely "genuine replica" of the Ryder Cup, I bum rushed it for a photo, much to the embarrassment of Scott Linn who kept saying: "It's not the REAL thing, come on! Dinner time!"

The whole event has gone super-nuclear in terms of hype, money, and prestige.



And that's great. The Ryder Cup hyperspaces the sport into a format that is wholly unlike anything else in the game of golf. It is instant pressure from the first shot of the first tee. It is incredibly raucous crowds who are openly partisan, cheering good shots for the home team, and likewise bad shots for the visitors.

It is an international party. It is pomp and circumstance. It is a bunch of lone wolf players, suddenly getting to know each other a little better and compete shoulder to shoulder.

On the regular tour, there are big paychecks and even bigger paychecks.

Here, they get nothing.

(except a modest amount they can direct to a preferred charity of their choosing).

If you finish a big tournament in the top-10, you can say "hey, not bad."

At the Ryder Cup, there are winners and losers. Period. (and halves.... but you get the point)

These guys play for total pride and competitive juices. They dance when they win, and cry when they lose.

These are grown men. Millionaires.

Ridiculous. But true.

This, is the Ryder Cup.

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Here's some more from the broadcast location. Big THANKS to Yahoo! Sports Radio and David Gow, Craig Larson, and Josh Vexler for making this remote broadcast possible. When I suggested it for our show as an alternative to dreary and played out "Radio Row" at the Super Bowl, they said "great idea." When I actually asked to execute it, to my pleasant shock, they did not blink.

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And some cool videos.....



The Ryder Cup back in the quaint 1970's, where Europe couldn't hang with the US, and team uniforms were "brown" and "white."



Mark Calcavecchia's most devastating moment. Falling apart at Kiawah, in the War By the Shore.

Utter, Complete, Humiliating Defeat

About the only lasting phrase we'll all repeat about this referee debacle is this: ".... and the real refs were back to work in 3 days."

This will go down as one of the most spectacular sports business defeats ever, something akin to the military blunder of Napoleon's decision to invade Russia.

Napoleon entered Moscow to find that it had been abandoned by the Russians. Those that remained were starving and had begun looting food. There were no officials to offer the surrender of the city and no food to feed the massive army. Soon the French army began looting for themselves and somewhere in this chaos a fire was started. The fire destroyed four fifths of the city of Moscow and left Napoleon and his army with no shelter, food or plunder. Napoleon had not even received a formal victory and, being a pompous little man, this annoyed the hell out of him. 

With no supplies and the heater in his 2CV still not fixed, Napoleon was forced to withdraw from Russia. Of his 600,000 strong ‘Grand Army’, only about 40,000 limped back into France to quell a revolt that had taken place in his absence. The Nepalese, Austrian and Prussian armies all ran off home swearing that they thought it was a bad idea from the start. This defeat sent a message across Europe Napoleon was not invincible, and with his army now crippled from frostbite he was open to attack.

I Want to Be, Ed Hochuli

They said the two happiest people in the world on Monday night were these  two guys.

Oh, yeah.

Meanwhile, enjoy this YouTube Classic. In a word: AWESOME.

Boom.... Roasted

So, there ya go.

Something most sane people predicted, happened on the biggest stage, with one of the league's most popular teams, on a :00 play to win the game, with a call that was missed three different ways.

And replay was not there to save us.

Debacle. Own it, Goodell. It's your legacy.

This is a forever stain.

That picture above, will be as famous as any photo in NFL history. The blue dress stain on your precious "Shield." Forever.

Possible titles for last night.

"The Golden Taint"
"Lubeless In Seattle"
"Two Refs, One Call"
"The Hose Bowl"

If there were a line to fistfight Roger Goodell, 1890's style, shirtless under an oak tree, how long approximately would that line be?

No matter how much longer this utter farce continues, the NFL has lost.
No matter how much they claw back from their referee pension contributions, the NFL has lost.
No matter how many calls the "regular" refs get wrong in the future, the NFL has lost.
No matter how high the TV ratings are, or overall league revenues remain, the NFL has lost.

The NFL made a bet.

They said referees were a mere commodity, and easily replaceable.

Then, last night happened.

They lost.

You can never undo the travesty that was last night. You can never make people forget how stupid, cheap and schmucky this decision was to lockout the regular referees.

Your clownsuit is ready, Roger.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



Come get your whuppin, Goodell!



Here's the Packer's radio call.

Because having a head coach, at home, helping the ref make the TD signal within 3 feet of him, on national TV, is NOT a horrible bit of optics regarding your league's legitimacy. Pete Caroll sucks. Why not just jump into his arms?

And The Beatings Shall Continue...

The last time I saw a coach who seemed to care so little about the physical punishment his quarterback was taking, the coach was Steve Spurrier and the QB was Patrick Ramsey.

Move over, you two.

Because Mike Shanahan clearly doesn't give two shits about possibly totalling his brand new Ferrari of a QB in Robert Griffin III.

He's worse than Lindsay Lohan.

Back when Spurrier was trying to run his college offense in the pros, Ramsey stood like a cement pillar in the flimsy pocket, 5-wideouts scurrying about, and got pulverized week after week.

'Twas no "fun and gun" my friends.

Now Shanny & Co. are implementing their own spin on a college offense (the triple-option-wishbone-zone-read-something) with RGIII, and it's getting ugly.

The Cincinnati Bengals crushed Griffin repeatedly, and in various ways. Crushing blindside sacks. Split-second post-release pops. Malachi-crunch take downs on designed runs. Concussion-inducing knockdowns on zone-read runs.

Terrance Newman even took a cheap-and-obvious sideline shot at the end of the game.

Superman put on a brave face after the game. Said Griffin: "Teams think if you hit the QB enough he'll stop coming after you. I just want to let everybody know that's never going to happen."

Okay. Wonderful. But that's not the point, Robert.

When you get your leg broken, you won't be playing.

So what's going on in Shanny's mind here? Is he more pressed to win right now than we think? Is it ego? Or is there real job pressure? He seriously doesn't seem to give a shit that Griffin is getting hammered. At least Spurrier would wince and promise to do better on protection the next week.

Not Shanny. He has zero concern.

I thought the ol' Crimson Fox in Week 1 at New Orleans enjoyed his finest hour. I thought it was all about unveiling a healthy dose of option looks after a summer of secrecy, to catch the Saints flat footed and bag an improbable win to start the season.

Bravo. /slow clap.

But I thought the college stuff would start to fade away by now, and be used only in special situations.

Wrong.

Shanny is running Griffin into the ground. And we are THREE games into his career.

It's nuts.

You want to run some of this stuff in goal-to-go situations, or 4th and short? Fine. In fact, perfect.

You can't run it exclusively for two straight drives, like the Skins did today.

Well, I mean, you CAN do that. But it's stupid. This is not an offense you can win with in December and January. 

The thought of zone-reading Griffin left and right in an NFC championship game at a rock-hard Meadowlands after 17 or 18 games in a season is laughable.

Furthermore, if you are down 7 late in a big game, you generally can't/won't run the option to victory against NFL defenses.

So in other words, we are working on installing and running an offense, that you simply can't win with.

And it's going to kill our star QB, a guy the same geniuses surrendered four draft picks to get.

Griffin is plenty accurate enough, smart enough, and patient enough to be a "regular" NFL pocket passer. It's what he will need to be eventually anyway. So let's get started with his education on that front.

The season is quickly getting sideways on Shanny. Not only does the schedule get harder real quick, but the injuries are piling up quickly. And the ability to gimmick your way to wins with this college scheme is going to rapidly approach the point of diminishing returns.

So let's slow down and take our ups and downs with a talented young QB while he learns how to play the PRO game. So what if the learning curve is painful at times? That's what this year was expected to be anyway, right?

Unless, something else is going on with our gravel-voiced leader.

Shanahan is now 12-23 in Washington. If the "win-one-lose-two" pace continues through the season, that'll probably make him 6-10 for a 3-year run of 17-31.

Furthermore, Shanny is now 4-13 at HOME in face-matching burgundy golf shirts.

Is that good?

So what if I tried this theory on for size? Let's say Shanny is exposing RGIII to massive punishment now for two basic reasons.

1. He knows the roster will continue to fall apart as the season wears on. So he MUST bag wins NOW, and this college scheme is the best/only way to do it.

2. If Griffin DOES get hurt, and misses games, he won't be happy of course, but it WOULD buy him some more time. Maybe another year.

I think Shanny is solid here through 2013 no matter what.

But an injury to RGIII resets the "get this dummy out of here" clock even further.

I know, crazy talk.

But what if Shanny actually DOES think this option-heavy scheme can have LONG TERM success in this league? What if he really does envision Year 4 of the Zone-Read with Griffin FINALLY becoming an unstoppable force?

Now, that, would be truly crazy.

I'm not sure which scares me more.

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The good ol' days....

Cooley vs. Czaban: The Reality Show That Never Happened

My friend Adam McCaa and his talented video producer Chris Counts launched what was going to be a 10 episode web series, aimed at being a Golf Channel Style reality show. Sort of a Big Break meets the Biggest Loser concept.

The day me and Cooley shot this first pilot episode, it was a frigid late April day. But Cooley was great, and our teacher Pat Maguire was excellent in the short amount of time he worked with us. Sadly, the full funding for the "show" never came through, and so all we had was this short preview/pilot.

I didn't think much about it, until Chris showed me what he had so far, and WHOA, I was blown away! Great videography, editing, and overall production values. Maybe someday we'll resurrect the concept. I know Cooley has.... ahem... more time for golf right now, so we'll see.

Smokin' Jay Cutler

Yeah, he totally looks like "this guy" you would otherwise see playing the local kids at some arcade for their lunch money.

iPhone 5 Spoof

Ha ha. Funny. I still bought one. And I will not regret the purchase one bit. That 4G fast, widescreen bizatch is going to make my lunchtimes alone, very, very special.

Very.

Sayin'....

/okay, gonna shut up now.

It's Still Good to Be "The Gronk"

Remember when Rob Gronkowski posted rather yummy photos of his porn star girlfriend Bibi Jones wearing nothing but his jersey?

Ahhh. Good times.

Well, she'sssssss baaaaaack!

Deadspin notes that even though Ms. Jones (now going by her real name, Britney Maclin) claims to have retired from porn, she still can't get Gronk off her mind.

Who knows how the sanctimonious Patriots will react to this one. Methinks the fact they just got faced by the Cardinals at home, will have them less concerned than before. That was when Gronk was basically forced to apologize for bringing "disrespect" to the NFL and the Patriots.

For his part, Gronkowski said in an interview, "I didn’t intend anything to hurt the reputation of anyone on the New England Patriots or on behalf of Robert Kraft," he said, referencing the team's owner. "It's just a simple picture, that's all." 

He clarfied to The Sports Hub that he had apologized to Kraft directly. “I wasn’t asked to apologize to anyone,” he said. “I just saw Mr. Kraft in the hallway. We had a brief discussion and that’s all it was. [He said] just be careful, just always watch out."

Yeah. Be careful, Gronk. You don't want anything EMBARASSING getting out there on the internet with some bimbo ruining your pristine reputation.

Awww, Cute Widdle Bison.... AHGHGH! RUN!!!!

I tell you what, that kid will NEVER feel quite as alive as those 10 seconds he scampered around that bush, with mommy or daddy nowhere to be found to save his little butt!

Leaked Memo Reveals Ref Lockout Stalemate

In case you care, here's the specific details of exactly what the NFL is fighting the locked out referees over.

Chump change for a billion dollar league.

In America, This Is How We Roll...

Awesome. Just... fucking... awesome.

Evgeni Malkin Might Want to Pack His Own Defibrilator

So the exodus begins.

With the NHL facing another long nuclear-lockout-winter, star players are packing their bags for the NEXT highest paying pro league on the planet: the KHL.

But if you are a player who did not see the HBO special on this bare budget league, well, there's no sense in watching it now. Just go, and pretend like you aren't putting your life at risk.

Sven Hurd, Kicker

When somebody sent me this picture of Bethune Cookman's kicker, I said.... "NO way."

Then, I went to my Google Machine.

Meet, Sven Hurd. Proud son of Peter and Laquita Hurd.

5-10, ahem... "230" pounds... or so his bio says.

The Joke Remains, On You, Football Suckers

What kind of league is willing to throw out utterly unqualified referees, and claim that they are doing a "credible" job?

What kind of league is not embarrassed by having a former Lingerie League ref doing their games?

What kind of league is hell bent on squeezing the cost margins of an expense pie slice that is so small, you can't even see it on the overhead projector?

A league that revels in its arrogance.

Forget for a second if you think the "real" refs are asking for too much. Forget your jealousy about their 6-figure "part time" job.

Just absorb THIS latest farce: a side judge who was scheduled to do the Saints game, posed for his facebook page in FULL SAINTS GEAR! From a TAILGATE that occurred just this past August!

The latest unusual twist in the ongoing replacement official saga came Sunday courtesy of Brian Stropolo. Stropolo was scheduled to serve as the side judge in Week 2′s Saints-Panthers game — at least, until the NFL discovered that Stropolo appears to be a Saints fan. 

ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reported Sunday that Stropolo, a New Orleans area native, posted pictures of himself on Facebook from a tailgate prior to the Saints’ Aug. 25 preseason game against Houston. As of noon on Sunday, Stropolo appeared to have deleted his Facebook page.

Yeah, deleting the Facebook page always works. Like, nobody ever finds out about anything once you do that.

So at this point, I wonder: is this really about saving some money on the cost of officiating? Or is really about breaking another union?

What if somehow the NFL could declare an impasse right now, and hire these officials - remember, the ones they INSIST are doing a "more than adequate" job - full time at say 50% the cost of what they were paying for elite refs, with 20+ years of experience on average?

Would the NFL do that? I doubt it. Sure, you'd be saving a few pennies on refs, but then you would be STUCK with definitely crappier game officials for good. So I doubt any owners would be happy about that. I sense they just want Ed Hochuli & Co. to cave.

Which maybe, they will. Because the NFL can threaten NFL owners with fines, and NFL coaches with suspensions via internal memos about not ripping on these dummy refs too much. Which the league did, just this week.

Furthermore, the NFL has a willing cadre of media members who will also play along with the "hey these guys really aren't that bad" spin.

So I don't know how the real refs win against a league so arrogant, so willing to be shmucks, so cheap and vindictive.

What would have been sweet, is a last minute STRIKE, where the refs walk out mid-season and say: "Good luck finding some refs by Sunday."

Next time, the refs will realize that if you don't play for keeps with this league, they will run you over.

Still Time To Get In the Cover5 Pool!

Congrats to Luke Breivik who SLAYED it last week to a staggering 79 points!

Luke wins the Weekly Prize of an autographed Yahoo! Sports Radio souvenir basketball and YSR baseball hat. You can win that weekly prize too, even if you are just signing up now.

Also, the Grand Prize - two nights lodging for two (double-occupancy) and VIP access to the CzabeVegas 2013 Party in Las Vegas (Sweet 16 Weekend, March) is still quite attainable if you missed week one.

Heck, I forgot to enter my picks (I did for the cash pool, just spaced on the public pool) and I'm only 724 out of 861!

Sounds dire, but it's not! The great thing about Cover5, is that it is HIGHLY volatile, and a few HOT weeks and I'll be right up there again near the lead!

Just watch me!

Better yet, SIGN UP NOW and try to BEAT me!

It's free. It's fun.

And you can even ORGANIZE your own leagues, even mid-season!

Miss tonite's game? No big deal. You still plenty more to pick from this weekend.

Cover5! Join the revolution!

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"Czaban! You what?? FORGOT to fill out your Czabe.com Cover5 picks last week! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

The Black Hole: As Friendly As Ever!

I would love to see a nice little family of four, with mom in her Sunday church wear, and two little 10 year old nippers, buy Raider tickets in the Black Hole and just see how long they can last in this den of drunken, gang-infested hooligans.

It would be like a TV show: "Survivor: Oakland."

Come on network, execs. Noodle it out, and make it happen.

The Ryder Cup Is Getting Ready To Jump the Shark

It sickens me - sickens - that the PGA of America thinks that a Celebrity Pro-Am somehow adds a necessary element to an event I love so much.

But here we are.

The first-ever Ryder Cup Captains & Celebrity Scramble golf event will have some serious star power. Bill Murray, Justin Timberlake, Michael Phelps, George Lopez, Ernie Banks, Richard Dent, Stan Mikita and Scottie Pippen are scheduled to play. 

The event will begin at 1 p.m. on Sept. 25, the first day of Ryder Cup practice rounds for both the U.S. and European teams at Medinah Country Club. Fans with tickets for Tuesday’s sold-out practice round will be able to watch the scramble. 

The celebrities and sports stars will be paired with past Ryder Cup Captains to play 10 holes of Medinah’s Course No. 3 as part of a team in a scramble format. Participating past Ryder Cup Captains include Ben Crenshaw, Tom Kite, Tom Lehman, Corey Pavin, Dave Stockton, Hal Sutton, Lee Trevino and Lanny Wadkins.

Oh, super. Way to take an intense, PURE golf event, and schlock it up. I should have seen this coming once they let Michael Jordan be as "assistant" captain.

"That's A Clown Call, Bro!"

Deadspin is doing flat-out yeoman's work with these overmatched replacement refs.

Of course, Goodell and hit top-hatted bosses with their spectacles will say they are doing a "great job."

Yeah, sure.

"You're doing a heckuva job, Brownie."

Faith Hill: Shut the Front Door!

As my friend Bob Madden says, "she's an American treasure."

I could not agree more.

Redskins v. Jets Super Bowl! Let's Do This!

Oh yes, the wonderful part of being an NFL fan, is how things change so quickly, and the "consensus" football wisdom can be so utterly wrong, so often.

There was simply NO way, the hapless Jets - described by me, and many others as a "circus" waiting to happen - were going to come out breathing fire on offense the way they did. No way? Not with just ONE offensive touchdown in the pre-season.

Wrong.

Just like there was simply NO way, the 5-11 Redskins - breaking in a rookie QB who played very little in the pre-season - were going to roll into a dome where the Saints were 8-0 last year, and beat the living stuffing out of a supposedly spite fueled team playing for their suspended head coach.

Wrong.

Now, many of you peeps will say "but Czabe, YOU DID call it" on the Redskins.

Ahem.

Sorta.

Like any good "scam-dicapper" I gave out BOTH sides of that game, in various venues. The Skins +7 on my Yahoo! Sports Radio show and as Jimmy. The Saints -7 in my official Cover5 selections, and also on Twitter.

I know. I suck.

I really should just pick ONE side to a game, and stick with it, across all "platforms." But at least I'm not so dishonest as to come here this morning, peacocking like a chump.

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The replacement refs, really suck.

This is not "hating" on them. They are doing their best. But we now see how hard the job is. And if you still don't believe the job is hard, then you have to concede this: nobody knows what holding is now, or pass interference, or hands-to-the-face, or blocks in the back.

The regular officials have a well honed understanding of what these calls look like, when to call them, and why to call them. It is a sense honed over the last 20 plus years of their average NFL experience.

So now, games are being swung on a crapshoot. The egregious flag-pick-up on the Randall Cobb return, was just ONE example. Mario Williams says the Jets jacked him in the facemask repeatedly while "blocking" him, and he may have a point.

The Redskins got a true gift of a pass interference call on an otherwise cleanly defended 4th and 1 pass into the endzone, that really helped them out.

Then there was the jackknifed debacle in the desert. The Seahawks were not only given a 4th timeout. The refs also took about 5 minutes to figure out exactly how, and why, that happened.

Then, they lied - LIED - about the timeout snafu to the crowd.

Mike Pereira was classic on Fox: "That is NOT true."

Only after the game was over, did the refs acknowledge their mistake. A mistake that some will claim - falsely - that "even the real refs make sometime."

No. No they don't. Gaffes of this magnitude almost NEVER happen.

But of course, the NFL will likely only dig their heels in, and drag this farce out even longer. The last thing this arrogant league is gonna do, is come running back to the table for a settlement.

And some will say that because nobody is going to turn off the TV just because former CFL refs are screwing up games, that it justifies the NFL's "strategy."

At some point, any smart business realizes that certain cost-cutting measures damage the brand in ways that don't become apparent  until weeks, months, or years later.

For those who were raising the "Mission Accomplished" banner after the mostly successful Wednesday night kickoff for the replacement refs, you might just want to take it down.

I bet more gaffes and fiascos are to follow.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>..

Boo! Liar. Boo.

Roger Goodell's Bountygate Gets Laid The F*&% Out!

As if I wasn't on enough of a virtual "football high" on this Friday before the 1st weekend of the season, the fact an internal appeals board just pancaked The Ginger Hammer by overturning the player suspensions he labored so long and hard during this off-season to justify.

And according to many, or most, of us, #failed.

Perhaps this is premature, but it feels like this decision was Chuck Bednarik, and Goodell is Frank Gifford.

So enjoy the Snoopy Dance clip to gloat in the Ginger Hammer's face!

Czabe's Cover5 Cash League Finalists

"While I wasn't able to cut everyone I wanted to, I was able to cut a lot of you."
- Homer J. Simpson

King of Primetime Contest

I know I ask a lot of you, my loyal readers. Sign up here, play this contest there, blah blah blah.

But hey, it is potentially FREE STUFF, and what can be wrong with that?

So here's is the LAST contest I am going to encourage you to jump in on, for this football season. It is our Czabe.com "King of Primetime" contest.

Pretty simple. Pick the EXACT SCORE of either the Sunday or Monday night games - primetime, baby!

Hard to do? You bet?

But if you "nail it" (hat tip: 'Nard Dog), you will be eligible for the grand prize at the end of the year of a "big screen" TV. (Size is pending, kids. More entrants, more chance for a bigger screen, so don't be shy!)

Name, email, zip is all we ask.

Plus, weekly Beer Tubes and other "oh, you came soooo close" prizes through the year.

Best part of all? No need to be present at Week 1 to play. Jump in any ol' week, drop out when bored, come back when you catch your second wind - doesn't matter to us!

So there you go. Have fun, and enjoy.

Dude, You Never Know! The Team Might Just Call You Up For Sunday!

From Drew Magary on Deadspin.com today, the DEFINITIVE, "yeah, he's right" article on just WHY men wear football jerseys.

NFL fans walk around in team jerseys all the time, and even though most of them look like schlubs, most of them FEEL better than they do at any other time of the week. In fact, the fatter and more out of shape you are, the more powerful a spell the jersey casts over your ego. Maybe you look like a real player. Maybe the head coach will be in dire need of a running back in the fourth quarter, see you through the TV screen, and summon you out to the field to go rip off the winning 90-yard swing pass. That will never happen, but the jersey is what lets you dream about it, and often the dream is vivid enough to make a decent substitute for reality. Which is good, because in reality you're fat and your team sucks.

I would disagree with, or argue, his points, but I cannot. I only own ONE jersey, the oddball "Czaban 19" Redskins jersey I ordered custom as an inside "joke" of sorts.

The joke? A. My radio partner Andy HATES men who wear jerseys, and SUPER hates those who put their OWN name on it B. Almost NOBODY has worn #19 for the Skins.

Talk About Bikini Wax on a Putting Green!

Somewhere, Gary McCord is smiling.

The Trillions Just Fly By, Don't They?

Good Thing College Football Isn't Absurdly Over-Produced, Or Anything...

WHO TURNED THE SMOKE MACHINE UP TO 11?!

Davis Love Faces "Indigestion Monday"

When Paul Azinger (smartly) lobbied the PGA of America to allow FOUR captain's picks for the Ryder Cup, instead of just TWO, who knew that it would make life so miserable for future captains.

Davis Love III has a real stump grinder on his hands for this year.

As a quick aside, here is just ONE MORE reason I freaking LOVE this event so much. Not only is it a "defacto" All-Star Game for the sport of golf. It is also something that EVERY player REALLY wants to participate in.

To say that bubble players are crushed by missing the team, is not an exaggeration. To say that captain's don't truly dread making that call to their peers, is not an exaggeration.

Hell, when Tiger was completely in the dumps following The Fire Hydrant, he swallowed his pride and said publicly how much he wanted to be a part of the team, even if it meant as a captain's pick. He needed and wanted that "team" camaraderie and respect which only comes from the Ryder Cup (and lesser extent, the President's Cup) and would have been genuinely wounded if he had been snubbed.

In fact, I think Tiger's strong showing at the Presidents Cup this past December, helped launch his certain Player of the Year season this summer. Freddie not only trusted that Tiger would bring full focus to a non-paying event, but he also gave Tiger a big boost of confidence by saying: I want you!

So here we are, and Love has a tough one. Here's the standings.

Now, here's how Captain Czabe sees it.

1. It's too bad we can't drop Mickelson, but he's already on - by the skin of his teeth - at #8. Nothing against lefty, but I don't like how even HE admits he's been mentally "drifting" at times this year. Plus, he's now rocking the pencil grip with his putter. I know he was 5-0 at Royal Melbourne, but Phil's been a pretty big FISH lately at the Ryder Cup. Oh well. See you at Medinah, Phil.

2. Of course I am in the tank for Furyk and Stricker. Not only are these two guys SOLID (albeit unspectacular) veterans, they are both "Certified Tiger Woods Compatible" in match play. This is important. Because it gives Tiger TWO dance partners, so he'll be both comfortable and not stuck with just one guy. I've played with Furyk now two straight summers, and Stricker is a Wisconsin boy. These two are no-brainers.

3. Fowler does very little for me. Sure, he birdied home last Ryder Cup for a big half point. But the guy also played the WRONG ball last time. Just not a big fan. Sorry, BMX boy. For a guy who was jumping off balconies into pools at the PGA Championship, then shooting 74-80, that's not a captain's pick to me.

4. Dustin Johnson - aka Avatar, my nickname - has to be on the team. He's been hurt most of the year, but healthy now and coming on strong. Plus, in partnered match play, how valuable is one of the longest drivers on the planet? Plus, with Nic Colasarts on the Euro Team, the singles showdown between these bombers just HAS to happen.

5. So that leaves it up to HUNTER MAHAN or SOMEONE ELSE....

This is gonna be tough, but I'd leave Mahan off this time. He's a very likable dude, and a great ball striker, and very straight driver. I know he won the Match Play this year, but what happened in February has very little to do with NOW. Also, there's the ol' chunk-a-lunk from last Ryder Cup under pressure, which has to haunt him a bit. I saw on the Golf Channel where they said he's been "working hard" on his chipping, and that he now says "chipping is fun." Mahan then proceeded to flub-fluff an easy chip, about 4-feet in front of him. Sorry. He's out.

6. Someone else... for me... is.... BRANDT SNEDEKER.

"Sneds" is a passionate, wear his golfing heart on his sleeve, kind of player. But I like that. Passionate. A bit jumpy, like Bubba Watson can be, but also streaky. Sneds, you are in.

So we'll see what Love decides. All I know is this. I am GI-GI-GIGGITY excited for the event, which myself and Scott Linn will be broadcasting LIVE from at Medinah later this month. Should be awesome.