Maryland vs North Carolina
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
"Seen Everything Now..." Moments in Sports
A full on NASCAR wreck between a racecar and a jet-powered track drier and 200 gallons of flammable jet fuel?
Epic.
Because nobody was hurt, thankfully.
That was one of those "Seen Everything" moments in sports, where you simply mutter: "Now, I have seen everything."
Here's a few others that come to mind...
Terrell Owens, pulling a sharpie out of his sock to autograph a freshly baked touchdown, right out of the end zone oven. Granted, today, this celebration seems "mild" compared to some of the stunts NFL wideouts would like to pull, if not for the heavy hand of Roger Goodell. But remember at the time, it was nothing short of jaw dropping and ground breaking. He did what?!?! He also did a bunch of other crap (like the whole Dallas star game) but the sock-smuggled Sharpie was the first, and best!
Who can forget so called "Fan Man" dropping in on the Bowe-Holyfield fight.
Randy Johnson vaporizing a poor dove that just happened to be in the wrong spot, at the exactly wrong time!
And then if you are squeamish, you better skip this one. A soccer player lost his finger on a fence, because his wedding ring got caught on it. Are you sure you want to see this? You sure? Okay...
Monday, February 27, 2012
The Broke Stars
$12 million to the winning team. Win, and get out of debt. Lose, and go back to scraping by trying to play for a team in Turkey.
I like it. I think it would produce some - ahem - SPIRITED competition. Problem is, the winners would likely blow their cash before they got to the bank with the check.
| EAST BROKE STARS | Career Earnings | |
| PG | Anderson, Kenny | $60 million |
| SG | Iverson, Allen | $200 million |
| SF | Walker, Antoine | $110 million |
| PF | Baker, Vin | $86 million |
| C | Coleman, Derrick | $87 million |
| RES | Owens, Terrell | $80 million |
| Coach | Mahorn, Rick | $8 million |
| WEST BROKE STARS | Career Earnings | |
| PG | Robinson, Rumeal | $5 million |
| SG | Rider, Isiah | $26 million |
| SF | Sprewell, Latrelle | $100 million |
| PF | Pippen, Scottie | $120 million |
| C | Kemp, Shawn | $92 million |
| RES | Caffey, Jason | $29 million |
| Coach | Swoopes, Cheryl | $50 million |
Meanwhile, Forbes.com examines just how a guy like Iverson - a MEGA-STAR - with both massive on-court and off-court income, could somehow be so broke before the age of 40.
It's not a new story, athletes going belly up. But it's an instructive one, to say the least.
It reminds me a bit of when Michael Scott "declared" bankruptcy.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Ryan Braun Makes A Strong Case
After seeing this strong performance at the start of spring training today, I am starting to crawl back into the camp of "maybe he really WAS screwed!"
Kudos to Braun for pushing back strongly on how violated he was by the so-called "confidentiality" portion of the process, and kudos for standing up and taking questions.
Here's what stopped me in my tracks today, thinking about the drug testing "establishment." You know, the very sanctimonious folks at WADA and other such pee-pee collecting agencies. Think about this: how many times have you heard one of these PED scolds saying honestly, and frankly that "yes, mistakes are made. So we have to keep the possibility (regarding athlete X) that he or she is innocent."
You never hear that.
Never.
Yet mistakes are made. False positives exist.
They PED scolds at WADA, have one basic response to everyone of note who "gets caught."
"Yeah... sure. They all say that..."
Kind of like judges who say about defendants... "yeah, yeah, they all say they are innocent..."
Well, sometimes, they are innocent.
At the end of the day, both MLB and WADA would be pleased with a "big fish" being caught. It would send a chilling effect to other would be users, and more importantly for WADA, it would just further underscore their call for MORE testing and more ADVANCED testing (i.e. blood doping).
Remember, WADA is a business.
And there is a lucrative horizon of testing to be done on all sports, at increasingly sophisticated levels into the future. WADA doesn't prosper if it appears PED use is on the decline, or otherwise sufficiently "in check" buy current testing regimes.
Not saying it's a bona fide conspiracy. Not saying there was tampering. Just saying that if Ryan Braun loses, MLB and WADA "wins". Thus, you have to be suspicious.
In the case of Braun, you also have to give strong weight to the fact that neither his numbers nor his physical attributes showed any real "pop" that would make you suspicious. Granted, that isn't a foolproof exoneration of PED cheats.
But if his testosterone was indeed that sky high, well then he wasn't getting much "enhancement" of his actual performance.
Personally, I don't really care about athletes who might be juicing. I know they do, because I know it works. But the only people who really got their knickers in a wad, were the baseball nerds who became horrified at how Bonds was laying waste to the record book like Godzilla to a seaside Japanese village.
Them, and parents of kids who play sports and are worried that they'll run into the local corner version of Jose Canseco in their neighborhood.
Look, athletes need to be tested. Cheaters need to be punished. But the rush to judgement, and sanctimonious attitudes of the testing organizations and the leagues themselves, need to pump the brakes.
Ryan Braun's case, is a prime example. If you can't handle the pee pee in the exact manner you are OBLIGATED to handle it, then how can a MLB superstar trust that the more complicated process of testing for tiny amounts of banned substances is done correctly?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
You Can Call Her "Tough", Too
Whatever.
I don't pretend to know enough about auto racing, to say whether she's "good" or "mediocre" or a complete fraud of a driver.
I know she's a tough woman. Tough enough to take a bump like this, and climb out of the car, and be ready to race again on Sunday in a brand new rig she knows virtually nothing about.
Hell, she's mentally tough to put up with all the crap that goes with her aggressive marketing in a boys game, that breeds resentment and behind-the-back whispers.
Maybe she's not ready for driving these cumbersome taxi cabs at 200 mph. I don't know.
I know that after this, however, my respect for her has grown just a bit.
Another JaVale Instant Classic
"Wrong Way JaVale"
"Alley Oop JaVale"
"Shot to the Nuts JaVale"
"Hopelessly Oblivious JaVale"
... and of course, my favorite... "Mama's Boy JaVale."
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Gone Skiing...
Wha? Huh? Okay, never mind that.
So here I was in life, 44 years old and content to let the leisure activity called "snow skiing" reside in the depths of my "F*** It List."
You know, the OPPOSITE of a "Bucket List."
Things I had done, and was basically done with. No particular malice toward these things, just a shrug of the shoulders to say "eh, been there, it's fine, but you can have it."
My youngest daughter Megan, however, had other plans for me. She got the ski bug from several school trips this year, and she's now a little ski maniac.
So off we went to Snowshoe Resort in West Virginia, where even in a horrible year for east coast snow, they still had very nice conditions. My lovely wife once skied herself, but a cranky knee and a mommy's prerogative gave her the right to chillax in the condo and find other things to do with our older, non-skiing daughter.
So I got on the ol' wax death boards for the first time since 2001. And wow, have things gotten a lot easier! The new parabolic or curved skis are pretty much cheating. Mind you, I'm exceedingly average. But these things practically turn themselves.
I was particularly proud of young Megan, who had a fearlessness and a "skier's attitude" that went far beyond what I ever had at her age. When I was just 9, I got my arms pulled off by a tow rope at Seven Springs in Pennsylvania and in a pouting 10 year old rage, chose to spend all day instead side-stepping up a small hill behind the lodge and gliding down that until my dad and brother came by to get me before the lifts closed.
Yeah! I showed that stupid tow rope!
Megan had no problem picking out, and attacking even some black diamonds at Snowshoe, like Widowmaker. Granted, as you can see from the video above, she's not going to the Olympics either, but for just her first month on snow, I was thrilled.
 |
| Widowmaker run at Snowshoe Resort, WV. That's black diamond, and my 9 year old daughter (left, brown suit) basically said "bring it on." This slope would have made me cry to mommy when I was her age. |
Luckily, the 2 feet between me and the 20 foot fall-off into the trees was enough buffer. And I was no worse for the wear. He did apologize - albeit half-heartedly - and I resisted the urge to go all Joe Pesci on him with my ski-poles.
Who knows what happened behind me to cause the wreck? Plus, it's a sport with well known risks. Ask the Kennedy's or Natasha Richardson. (What? Oh, I'm the bad guy?)
But it did get me to thinking about the whole "Snowboarder vs. Skier " culture war, which, I presume still exists to some degree. I remember when some resorts would not permit snowboarders, but then the market share grew to like 30% and they just couldn't afford their haughty principles.
In my humble opinion, snowboarders DO present an increase in risk on the slopes.
Sorry, but I do. Here's why.
I had a hard time spotting skiers who flat out sucked, and were a risk to wipe out on any run, at any given time. In fact, I noticed those people because they stuck out like a sore thumb. It was like: "Hey, that TOOL has no idea how to balance on skis! Ha ha! Let's watch!"
Meanwhile, the percentage of snowboarders who flat out sucked, was significantly higher. Even those who looked like they had mastered the art of the "Devil's Snow Rocket" would be shooshing down the slopes with relative ease when.... WHAM! Faceplant!
I attribute this - just observationally - with the number of former skiers who had grown bored of the same-old same-old, and wanted to get into something new.
Which is fine. Really. I don't care, because I'm only going to go skiing once a year, when my daughter drags my ass out there.
I also think snowboards, by their very nature, are a touch more wickedly un-controllable than skis. You only have 2 edges to control, not four. You don't have poles for balance. And your body is facing sideways to the direction you are travelling.
It just seems that when things go wrong, they go MUCH MORE WRONG on a snowboard, than they do on skis, which allow for greater maneuverability and last second wipeout-avoiding adjustments.
Then there's the average age demo of snowboarders vs. skiers. We don't even need to go there, do we?
That said, a**holes come in all flavors, and they travel on all types of snow equipment. And I am not trying to paint snowboarders with a broad brush. Most, I am sure, are responsible, cool, and very safe on the slopes. As much as skiers are, by and large.
And yes, for the record, I tried snowboarding once. Most impossible-f***ing-thing ever. Nearly killed myself on a bunny slope that was only about a 4% grade. I have the UTMOST respect for, and semi-jealousy of, anyone who can do it, and do it well.
So I'll just worry about over-photographing and videoing my kids like I'm a Warren Miller wannabe.
And if you don't know who Warren Miller is, then sheesh, check this shizzle out down here. Guy has been making the sickest ski videos in the world, since like, the 60's.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Bye Bye Productivity!
WASTE YOUR AFTERNOON!
The Amazin' Asian
Jeremy Lin is legit.
I am now of the firm belief that Lin's sudden rise is no gimmick, no schtick. Just a legitimate case of an overlooked talent, who finally gets his shot. The kid can play, and if the rest of the Knicks' overpriced primmadonnas buy in (ahem... looking at YOU, 'Melo..) then we are looking at a dynamic and dangerous Eastern Conference Contender for years to come.
Is the marketing and hype of this kid overboard? Of course. But it's harmless fun, so just ride it.
I was wondering early on, if Lin was more Billy Volek than Kurt Warner. (Sorry, I just couldn't find a more suitable basketball comparison, so this will have to suffice.)
Volek was a scrub bench warmer for the Titans, who came on like gangbusgters in the 2004 NFL season to singlehandedly win millions of fantasy leagues as an oh-by-the-way pickup late in that season.
In just 8 starts, Volek threw for 18 touchdowns at a 61% clip. He went for 426-4 and 492-4 in BACK-TO-BACK weeks late in the year. Never mind that the Titans lost those games. The guy was ON FIRE.
So next year, Volek puts back on the baseball hat for injured starter Steve McNair, and basically melts into the backround. Then he goes to San Diego, and in his 5 seasons there, has thrown exactly 44 passes.
Legend, over.
Kurt Warner, meanwhile, remains the gold standard of out-of-nowhere sports legends. Even better than Unitas, in my opinion.
Steelers coach Walt Kiesling never even let Unitas take a snap in practice with the Steelers. Among those edging out Unitas was Ted Marchibroda, future NFL quarterback and longtime NFL head coach. Married with a child and out of pro football, Unitas worked in construction in Pittsburgh to support his family. On the weekends, he played quarterback, safety and punter on a local semipro team called the Bloomfield Rams for $6 a game.
You know how it worked out with Unitas. With Warner, it happened in living modern televised color. In an age of football far more advanced than back in Johnny U's era. With increasing levels of sophistication being applied to scouting and player development, you wonder how any such talents slip through the cracks.
Warner burst onto the football world like a supernova, throwing for an absurd 41-21-and-36 touchdowns in his first 3 years as a starter. Won a Super Bowl, should have won a second (thanks Mike Martz, clown) and then after being seemingly finished, resurrected himself one more time and should have won a 3rd Super Bowl (thanks James Harrison and Santonio Holmes).
Could Lin be the basketball Kurt Warner?
Absolutely.
Sometimes, all talent needs is a chance.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Snickies du Jour: Natalie Gulbis and Alex Morgan
When he heard "body paint" his peeny when "hmmmmp!"
In a similar vein, every golfer I know has been breathlessly sending me these Natalie Gulbis bodypaint pics from the very same SI issue.
My thoughts: eh. Not only do the painted bikinis look fake, but the models look fake too! Somebody put down the photoshop airbrush!
I like Natalie. She'a a cool chick who knows the deal. She doesn't suck, but she also realizes that her financial future depends on being hot enough to pose for spreads like this, and just good enough to make the TV coverage on most LPGA weekends.
That said, I think Nat looks WAY hotter wearing golf gear. Including a hat. Hard to explain I suppose, but something about a hot chick in hot golf clothes in her sporting element just does a lot more for me.
Same thing for Alex Morgan. She's got a frontcourt like a 12 year old, so posing nekkid with just paint doesn't seem to make any sense.
I like Alex in a tight ponytail, sweating from head to toe, churning those lean soccer gams for 90 minutes against some helgas in the World Cup.
These body paint spreads have had their day. Time to let them go quietly into the swimsuit night, SI, not unlike fishnets that show some nipplage.
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