Thursday, April 16, 2009

One Tall (Timber) Medical Story

I now have a new line to use on my doctor when I go in for a check up and - thankfully, usually – get a clean bill of health.

“But doc, are you sure there's no pine trees growing inside my anywhere?”

This story from Russia has stirred a fair amount of water cooler debate
as to it's veracity. I called bullshit, for no other reason that its...

a. Russia
b. The Internet!

But like many internet stories, the real fun only begins with the actual story, the best comes from the comment section. Here's a few I pulled out...

On the “Hey, You Never Know” side of things...

Surprisingly enough there is enough light shining through a human body to promote growth of a plant. You can shine a torch light through your hand and see the light glowing through. This is thicker than the skin and flesh around your chest.

On the “This Guy Sounds Like He Knows His Stuff” side...

The only reason objects show up on an xray is if it has sufficient density. Wood is not dense enough to show up that bright on an xray unless it has calcified, the post excision photo clearly show that is hasn't. The xray is also of a child not a 28 year old. As you can clearly see the growth plate of the shoulder has not yet fused. This fuses on a normal person at about 16 years of age. My guess is its a fake.

Then from the “Cheap Yuks” department...

Oh sure there was a tree growing in his lungs and in that tree they also found a birds nest, a lost kite and the head of an axe which got broken off it's handle when the the little people, who live in his stomach tried to cut it down. They were ever so hungry and needed the wood to built a fire so they could cook up chunks of his liver.


Was the doctor who operated a tree surgeon? Did he decide to go out on a limb and branch out? He longed to go back to being a proper surgeon: so he was no doubt pining.


Speaking of trees, I need to correct myself. On a recent Czabecast, I said that you “can't just uproot a 150 year old oak tree and plop it in your backyard.”

Um, wrong, ding-dong.

Here's two pieces of evidence...

The first comes from Augusta National, where money is no object, and they CAN move massive trees in the dead of night without anybody noticing!

Go to the Masters Interactive page here, and click on the "Masters Today: Monday Edition" . At the 2:18 mark of Jim Huber's feature, you'll see where Augusta REPLACED a massive oak tree that had died, with one that Huber claims is "virtually identical" to the old one!

Then there was this little picture sent to me, which needs no further comment.



Look at this photo from your pod cast and tell me who is trying to intimidate who? I do not recall the entire scene of the handshake but notice that both Tiger and Phil didn't remove their caps.

Tedd Mentink

COMMENT: I think both Tiger AND Phil were a little bit too gung ho on this, considering both guys should have known there were playing an exhibition, and had no realistic chance at winning. Also, it is only customary (to my knowledge) to remove your cap while shaking hands AFTER a round. In fact, even when I play goofball rounds with the boys, I ALWAYS remove my cap and sunglasses and make sure to shake hands with the group right after the pin is stuck back in the 18th hole. I know, it seems corny. Especially when I'm sometimes as drunk as a Kennedy and holding a 92 on my card. But I like golf etiquette and traditions, and I think since one doesn't cost anything, why not “full honors” when you have the chance?


Corey Gallagher writes..

After seeing three of their friends get taken out simultaneously by Navy Seals, all 20 year old Somali men inadvertently made their first ever Seinfeld reference...

"But I don't wanna be a pirate!!"

(Also a phrase used by every Pittsburgh Pirate draftee since 1995.)

Love the show,

COMMENT: Nicely, played, sir! I think its time for me to dust off the ol' Blu-Ray of “Black Hawk Down”, wait until the missus is gone some evening, and sit back and crank that bitch up. It still galls me to this day, that we didn't loop back into Mogadishu and flatten about 12 square blocks, but that's an argument for another day. Still, that movie is one of the most intense, militarily harrowing, visually awesome movies of all time. Like any 10 year old boy trapped in the body of a 40 year old man, watching and hearing those Blackhawks and the badass MH-6 Little Bird come flying into the city while hugging the coastline, is just spine tingling.

LAST ADD: Of all the cheesy, poorly executed knockoff “Successories” posters I've had forwarded to me over the years, this one is worth a click and save.


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