My Draft Board Only Goes Up To Three

As a professional sports radio host, I assume that it is my duty and responsibility to hype up the NFL draft. At this point, with just 2 days to go, I should be chock full of all kinds of proclamations, opinions, and thoughts on who is going to be any good, and what teams would be NUTS not to select whom.

Sadly, I have fallen short.

I cannot muster the typical sports radio bluster, because to do so would be enormously hypocritical at best, douchbaggy at worst.

When professional talent scouts, and even more highly paid television "draft experts" do such a poor job of figuring this stuff out, then why would my particular guess on a player amount to anything more than the secretary filling out an NCAA pool sheet. (She beat me this year..... Again.)

So let's start with the disclaimers.

1. Nobody is going to know anything about anybody for at least 3 years. You simply can't declare a guy a total "bust" until he's had that window to get his shit right.

2. Nobody really knows what various NFL teams are "planning" to do. Especially because they themselves are flexible up until their name comes up on the podium this weekend. And they are all liars. In fact, I want my team lying. All the time. To me, to other GM's, to Mel Kiper, and especially to Peter King, since he is the easiest sucker to fool.

3. Unless you are a professional football scout, you have no way to really rate a lineman on offense, or most secondary players on defense. You just don't. Half the time, you can't even see the corners and safeties on a TV until the play is half over.

Now, as couch potato fans, we CAN (or more accurately, we THINK we can) evaluate things like QB, RB, WR and LB.

As far as I'm concerned, I only have 3 real "girlfriends" that I lust over in this draft. They are below, with convenient YouTube tributes, in case you needed them.

Now, maybe all 3 guys will suck. Maybe I'm a gullible, 1-dimensional fool. But as far as my "eye test" goes, these studs can play for me anytime.

PS: You can have both big name QB's. Don't really blow my skirt up. Either guy.


Knowshon Moreno


Michael Crabtree


Rey Maualuga