Monday, April 13, 2009
It’s Not My Fault, He Keeps Writing Absolutely Stupid Things
Peter King is at again. Here’s a lil’ unintentionally comedic blunder in his “Things I Think I Think” portion of his NFL blog.
f. I'm pretty much on board with everything about The Office, with a couple of exceptions: A season or so ago, Ryan was about to be profiled in the Wall Street Journal. Now he's a shiftless, no-account bum. How'd that happen?
REACT: Yeah, Pete. You are sooooo on TOP of it! A quick google-to-wiki double play would have unwrapped this probing plot mystery.
Ryan Howard, who started out as a temporary worker in the Scranton office, was later promoted to Dunder Mifflin's Vice President for Regional Sales, which would make him Michael's boss, until his treachery is exposed for corporate fraud and he's fired, ending up again as the temporary worker at the Scranton branch.
There. Problem solved.
Now some of you will insist this kind of thing has no relevance to his football acumen. I say PISH POSH, it’s completely relevant!
If Peter King can’t follow some basic story arc’s of a sitcom with perhaps 12 main characters, then how can he possibly make sense of a professional sports league with 32 teams and 1500 plus players?
No really. Answer that fucking question.
All of you Peter King fans, answer it. The man has no clue. He swerves wildly into one guess after another, and his wrong-ness is off the charts.
Worse case scenario, why not google it first, just to make sure? Or how about have an intern at SI.com loosely fact-check your shit so guys like me don’t tear it to shreds.
And I swear I would stop doing this reports, if only King would stop stepping face first into the rake like one of the Three Stooges.
In other King news, he swears Plaxico Burress is going to jail for a year, and will NOT play football no matter what in 2009. I say “LOCK IT UP”, Plax gets probation and serves just a 4 game suspension and is on somebody’s roster by Halloween. It makes no sense, but Pete has such a knack for being “The Cooler” on stories like this, you would be insane not to go 180 degrees the other way.
Finally, I love when one weepy liberal (King) gets all outraged over good ol’ fashion liberal (NY Times) on liberal (Boston Globe) crime.
l. You cannot be serious about shuttering the Boston Globe, you New York Times people. That's unjust and ridiculous and will be a black mark against anything you do journalistically in the long-term. How do you walk into the flagship journalistic institution in a six-state region and say, "Unless everyone in the building takes a monstrous pay cut, and a few of you walk away from your jobs forever, we're closing the place?'' What kind of management style is that?
REACT: I think it’s true what my friend once said of liberals: “They think companies only exist to provide health insurance and child care services.” Sorry Pete. But the NY Times IS serious. You didn’t think they would hurt their OWN paper first, did you? Besides, I’ll see your “black mark against journalism” and raise you one “Jayson Blair.”
Might want to google that one too, Pete.