Phallic-ally Challenged

Now that the Cavaliers are gone from the playoffs, I can sleep more soundly.

For weeks now, I have been haunted by the image of center Zydrunas Ilgauskas and his fully clean-shaven look.

All I could think of was: "My god.... it's a seven-foot penis with a hook shot."

Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong. I dare you. He looks awful like that. Grow some hair, some stubble, something. Please.

Here's a photo of "Z" with a Cavs fan. Cute, eh?



Mark Whitaker in Los Angeles writes...

Czabe,
I'll tell you EXACTLY who the Cavalier's Ilgauskus looks like.
Remember the Sea Hag in the Popeye cartoon.  He looks like one of her goons. Google image:  Sea Hags Goons.............and look at the second picture shown! It's eerie!

Thanks Mark. I sure as HELL don't remember that one, but you are indeed correct! A damn near perfect match!



Maybe I've got some variant of the rare disorder Jonah Hill's character had in the movie "Superbad." If you haven't seen the movie, you must at least spend a minute watching this!



Of course, "Z" could just "fix" this awkward look, by letting his hair and beard grow a bit. Here's his old look, which I think was sorta bad-guy-cool. Reminds me of the psycho in "Fargo", Peter Stormare. Only without the hair.



Here's a much better "Z" look. Work on it, big fella. And enjoy your summer.