Thursday, June 11, 2009

"She Wasn't That Attractive..."

For the record, let me state that I think justice was done in Eagle, Colorado.

The case brought forth by a 19 year old woman with a history of mental health issues and sexual promiscuity that made her minor sex related injuries difficult to prove were the result of the Kobe encounter, was not enough to blossom into an actual trial and conviction before a jury of Kobe Bean Bryant's peers.

Yeah, she may have decided not to continue forward because of the stress and pressure of the case. Yeah, she might have been paid off under the table. (A civil action was settled out of court, so you do the math.)

But in the end, Kobe earned his freedom, and paid a severe price in terms of money, fame, sleep, and marital leverage. That doesn't mean I have to believe he did NOT in fact, rape that mentally whacked 19 year old desk clerk in Eagle. In fact, it is not contradictory to say that even though the legal system deemed Kobe not guilty, my bar of guilt, or yours, can be set anywhere your judgement allows.

Above all, I do pride myself as being “the guy who remembers things” in sports. I don't like it when history and facts are glossed over, or thrown down the memory hole and covered in dirt. As such, I got this email recently.


TO: Czabe
FROM: Jody Plauche
RE: Kobe


I just want to thank you for reminding your listeners that Kobe Bryant is a rapist! I loved what you said when that guy said his favorite Laker was Kobe! You said, "want me to provide you with some transcripts!"

If you do need to provide a link to anyone, here is the smoking gun like to the Kobe file:

Kobe Rape Files


If you read the entire thing, two things strikes you immediately.

1.Kobe Bryant is a real creep!
2.Kobe Bryant is a real IDIOT!

The exchanges are both priceless and breathtaking in their narcisissim. And the decision to go it alone, without lawyers or agents, talking to detectives at such length, just to “make it go away” was like performing do-it-yourself-dentistry.

I have hand transcribed some of the best parts. The following is not for young eyeballs, so be forewarned. Also, I have edited several exchanges, not to alter the context, but just for brevity sake.

If you want the full treatment of how you ask for post sex autographs, dirty white undershirts, how Shaq handles these bimbos, bleeding, Kobe's other road bimbo, and more, then click the link and dig in. Here's the – pardon the pun, it was simply too easy - “money shot” of the entire interview with the detectives.

Detective Loya: Did you ever ask her if you wanted, if you could cum in her face?
Bryant: Yes. That's when she said no. That's when she said no. That's when she said no.
Detective Loya: So you like to cum in your partner's face?
Bryant: That's my thing. No always, I mean. So I stopped. Jesus christ man...
Detective Winters: So how was this, how was this consensual, I mean wha wha, explain to me how this was consensual?
Bryant: It sounds pretty fucking crazy to me (inaudible) and all that.

Detective Loya: So the blowjob lasted about 5 seconds?
Bryant: Yeah, it was quick.
Detective Loya: Then what happened?
Bryant: Wait, not, I mean she was, kept on doing, I just told her to get up, (inaudible) she didn't know what she was doing.

Detective Winters: You gonna be ready for the season?
Bryant: I don't know man. I don't even know if I'll be able to play this season with this shit going on. If it becomes public I'll lose my wife...
Detective Loya: How long you been married?
Bryant: And all my endorsements...
Detective Loya: How long you been married?
Bryant: Two years. My wife and daughter, they mean everything man, everything man, and up an until now (inaudible)...

Bryant: I can't believe this girl. What does she want from me?
Bryant: What does she want. What does she want?
Detective Winters: I don't think she wants anything.
Bryant: Are you kidding me?
Detective Loya: What are you willing to give her?
Bryant: She has to want, she has to want something (inaudible) she has to want something.
Detective Winters: What do you mean she has to want something, I don't understand?
Bryant: She has to have a motive, to do, she has to have a motive to do this.
Detective Winters: What would be, what do you think her motive is then?
Bryant: She must be trying to get money or something. (Inaudible)
Detective Loya: Are you willing to pay that if she is?
Bryant: I got to. I got to. I'm in the worst fucking situation.

Detective Winters: And I understand, and just let me finish okay. So one you lied to us, okay, that doesn't help. Two, um, then, we confront this issue and you seemed a little bit skeptical in the details of exactly what happened throughout the entire incident, okay? (edit) See, this is the way I at it, I, you know, I look at it this way, she's an attractive young lady.

Bryant: She wasn't that attractive.

REACT: To quote Michael Scott: “Boom... roasted.”

And now, back to your regularly scheduled Kobe Image Rehabilitation, already in progress.


  1. You forgot the best part. His "character" witness was going to be another girl he was cheating with named "Michelle" She was going to be able to corroborate that his finish on the face move was something he always does. I gues some people's move is to stop short and others like to finish on one's face.

  2. haha awesome last line wulf. Everyone has a go to move. Kareem had the sky hook, Michael had the fade away, AI had the killer crossover and Kobe has the facial. 2 best parts, she wasn't that attractive and when giving oral she didn't know what she was doing. Priceless. No surprise Kobe would like young white bitches, just don't see Charles Oakley getting down with young white girls. Another example of Kobe being soft and suburban.