Monday, April 5, 2010

The Ballad of South Side Barry

So you are an adviser to the President. You know he is going to throw out the first pitch at the Nationals' home opener. You know it is custom to don the colors and hat of the home town team.

Yet, POTUS wants to rep his supposedly beloved hometown Chicago White Sox hat.

What do you tell him?

"Yeah, boss, that'll go over well! It'll show that... um.... that, you are, ummm... something."

A dick, that's what you are.

Like, where exactly is the political benefit of doing something lame like that? So you can hold the all-important White Sox vote in 2012?

The downside is clear. You wear that mismatched hat, and you send a lot of negative signals. For one, it makes more headlines. "President Acts Like A Dick On Opening Day." (Story, Page D1).

It also reminds people that you throw like a girl. Actually, worse. Next time, have Hillary throw that bitch out on opening day in her frumpy tan pantskirt. She'll whomp it in there, and then spit on her own shoes.

It is one thing for pandering politicians to don whatever cap is expedient during election season. But at least they can claim they need every single vote possible. But he's already in office. Just wear the fucking hat and jacket. This team has lost over 200 games the last two seasons. Christ.

From a fan purity standpoint, he was already wearing a Nats jacket. If he thinks he's being a "true fan" by insisting on wearing that Sox hat, then how do you explain away the jacket?

If wearing another team's colors is so wrong, then you can't just split the difference and go half and half.

But then again, this guy wore his Bulls gear when he visited a Wizards game this past winter. My colleague Andy was actually - I do mean, actually - more upset about this than he was the entirety of ObamaCare's passage.

Got it, Barry. You are an old school sports fan. You fill out brackets, play hoops, rep the South Side gear. Hard core.

Now get some throwing lessons.


  1. Waaaaah President didn't pretend he is a fan of your crappy team. Wahhh. Grow up

  2. hes a better athlete than you are! come see him on the court plenty of people miss the plate carl lewis comes to mind. get your ass out there and throw one oh wait< youre not important enough. stick to sports

  3. I'd better call the waaaahmbulance...not for Czabe, for the two poofters who commented ahead of me.

    Uh, boys? Czabe's job is to comment on just the sort of thing this post details. Your problem with it is obvious: you're two bed-wetting pantywaists who thought every Bush = Hitler reference was funny, but "Obama throws like a girl" is vicious.

    Grow up, girls!

  4. Kinda fitting that he's a "lefty", eh?

  5. wait, wait, it his job to bitch about the presidents selection of hats? He wore the Nats jacket. Guess that wasn't enough to satisfy Czabe. Hell, it's not like the Sox are some sort of bitter rival. They aren't even in the damn NL. If you're gonna call us bed wetting pantywaists you might want to call us on a topic other than the president's fashion. You know what a real woman would do, is go out and wear the other teams colors just to make ding bats like you happy. And poofters? what the hell are you? British? Go watch some cricket and drink some tea

  6. I was in the Jefferson party suites. Obama got booed ROUNDLY. Maybe it was mostly the 20,000 Philly fans, who will boo anything. I was still surprised.

  7. ...and what little respect this country has for the office of The President of the United States (regardless of party) continues to go down the drain...shameful...

  8. Wearing his Sox hat is two-fold. #1 - you are correct. He's just a dick. #2 - by wearing his Sox hat like a dick, he can claim that the 35,000 boo's were because of the Sox hat and not because he is hated by well over 1/2 of the country.

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  10. Czabe-I love what you do,but you need to stick to sports. Your obvious hatred for anything Obama is getting

    If he was a GOP prez, you would be praising how he supports his home town teams and doesn't pander to each town he visits.

    Unless you are campaigning for a sports gig on Fox News, stick to sports

  11. Listen to this interview;

    -Obama says he's a Sox fan because he's a South side kid, yet he says he grew up in Hawaii and was an A's fan.

    -When asked who his favorite White Sox player was, he stumbles, and starts talking about the Cubs.

    -Listen close and you can hear Obama refer to Comiskey Park as Cominskey Field.

    What a lieing sack of shit.

  12. I have to agree with Dave Hennrichs - the Obama hating is getting old. Czabe - we know and love you as a "sports" guy. However, lately you seem to be auditioning to be Rush Limbaugh's fill in guy. Don't get me wrong, I've always liked how you've sprinkled non-sports-related (word?) into your broadcasts and commentary, and I loved "No Rule Radio" a summer or two ago. But here we are, the Tuesday morning after one of the biggest Sports Mondays of the year and what do we have from the guy we know and love and have followed so loyally over the years - "Obama throws like a girl". Come on! It's not like it's a slow sports day or anything - at least then I can understand if you dive into politics looking for material. But on a morning where you could opine about the NCAA Championship Game, the Tiger Woods presser, and we're all still waiting on your opinion and analysis of the McNabb trade (which I would think hits close to home for you), we have the Obama throws like a girl article instead.

    This isn't about political leanings either. I enjoy hearing both sides get bashed as I think both sides have serious (albeit different) flaws. But I'm probably not the only one who thinks you're spending too much time in the political end of the pool.

    We love you Czabe. We've followed you for years and we're faithful. But c'mon, there are some serious sport stories out there and we're all hungry for your commentary.

  13. Throws like a girl. I love how he tried to do the leg kick and all. Just throw the ball and get it over with, we don't need to see a bad Mark Langston impression.

    On another point, check out behind the plate, the dude with the #26 jersey. Is that guy intentionally being a dick?

    Lastly, this Shifter dude is taking the jabs on his boyfriend just a little too seriously. I'm not sure Czabe is being totally serious here, but man, Shifter is as thin-skinned as Obama himself. Please, get over yourself.

  14. 36 hours and still no post on 5. Have you really given up on the Deadskins?

  15. my issue is czabe is making it seem like obama has no athletic ability at all. czabe should get a camera get on a mound and post his results. its not an easy thing to do. i could see if it was a five hopper to the plate, but it was just wide. how is that throwing like a girl??

  16. Uhh okay. I actually like Czabe's political commentary, but regardless of what you think of that, you have to admit this is the SECOND time the pres. has thrown like a girl. Name me one other POTUS that has done that on opening day...twice. He had a year to work on it (and don't tell me he doesn't have the time, he could take 5 minutes off here and there from shooting hoops with a CBS correspondent).
    On another note, was this a classic Freudian Slip or what...Czabe, check this line in your post: "Next time, have Hillary throw that bitch out on opening day in her frumpy tan pantskirt..." Too funny.
    And on one last note, HKBelonger took the words outta my mouth...I can only guess you're as disenchanted as I am towards McNabb and you just can't face that he's a Skin now. What a move. Five more years of mediocrity.

  17. When I heard about the McNabb trade my first reaction was....."I wonder what Czabe thinks". Team Elephant is poised to have a banner year if they don't do something stupid like spend their funds on bondage clubs or something....ooops......well they can still do good. I wonder how the conservative White Sox fan feels about the "cap".

  18. Right on Czabe. Totally classless to yank on the White Sox hat. Being defiant and mocking Nats fans because he could. What does that say about the contempt he has for regular people?

    You'll like this: On why Baseball is not Kenya's national pastime.

    Be sure to watch the youtube clip below BHO's video for something better. Much better.

  19. It's a funny article. Good job Czabe. I enjoyed it. If it was a republican it would be just as funny. Why does everyone have to be so sensitive??
    Bunch o' PC pussies!

  20. Monty Burns laughs at his arm - feh

  21. Chris says it was just wide (my a** just wide), ergo he's not throwing like a girl. Let me explain. A girl throw has nothing to do with whether it gets there or not. Take a look at the motion. He throws like a girl. I'd rather throw like a man and NOT get it there.

    But all of this, again, is in jest. Lots of Presidents were ripped for their opening pitches. GWB just happened to be a pitcher in college, so it was more natural for him. And I believe he left it short at least once. But you cannot deny, he throws like a man.

    BHO just happens to be (much to the dismay of those expecting that he is the Messiah) your average politician. The dude is a ChiSox fan as a matter of convenience. He even said, with his own words, that he grew up an A's fan in an interview with Ron Dibble. That was the interview where he was asked which ChiSox fan is/was his favorite and all that you could hear is crickets. That was also the first interview where we learned the ChiSox played at Kaminsky Field. So he's just like all the bums, no different. It makes his pious stance on insisting on a ChiSox hat all the more comical.

    What's hilarious is the over-the-top defense of this particular President on every damn point you can think of, including the fact that he throws like a girl. I know, I know, I know, I must be a racist.

  22. I am thin skinned? There is a whole article calling the POTUS a dick for wearing a white sox hat, how thin skinned is that?

  23. I like my presidents to be of an above average I.Q. and not Texas morons who can throw a baseball. If Bush would have stuck to baseball, our country would be in a hell of a lot better shape.