Thursday, April 8, 2010
Now That's a Family Man!
See that little white ball in the fairway of "marital scumbag?"
That's Tiger's ball. 306, down the middle.
Now here's Tiki Barber.
His ball just flew Tiger by about 20 yards, and is bounding up toward the green.
In case you didn't know, Tiki has decided to ditch his wife and kids for a 23 year old NBC intern.
Oh, did I mention, Tiki's wife is 8 months pregnant?
Oh, and the intern? Former family babysitter.
Oh, one more. Tiki once ripped his own father for doing the EXACT SAME THING when he and Ronde were kids.
Scummy, heartless, cheesy, AND hypocritical. Well played, jerk.
And yet, when I offered that Tiger had just been blown away by Tiki on the wrong-o-meter, my co-host Andy and many callers on the radio said I actually had it backward. That Tiger's volume of bimbos, trumped the fact that he was at least trying to save the marriage and keep the kids.
I don't get the logic.
Yes, both are bad. But Tiki is far worse.
Not only has he walked out, but he did so on a relationship that is just about guaranteed not to last much longer than a pair of sneakers.
Plus, an intern? Can you get more cliched, Tiki? Anybody who is rich and famous can bang the interns. You don't cash in your marriage for them.
Some argued that "hey, you don't know when the Barbers' marriage became hopelessly broken."
I said: "Well, it was apparently okay 8 months ago."
I would say that it's a pretty fair bet that NBC's Today Show is going to can his ass before the year is out, if not sooner.
Because not only is Tiki NOT a sensational reporter of any kind, but the show isn't really even using him any more.
I just never got why NBC thought he was such a "catch." Sure, clean shaved head, nice big smile, well spoken intelligent black athlete with New York City name recognition.
But beyond that, what?
How long was that "hook" going to hold a viewer's "why-do-I-give-a-fuck" attention? Not to mention that fact that - at a minimum - the rest of the NFC East viewers to the Today show hated his guts to begin with.
So Tiki is now going to carve half his financial empire in half, and fork over half of all future earnings to support four kids and an insanely vindictive ex-wife for the next 21 years.
He will lose his current gravy-train TV job, leaving him free to do, what exactly?
He's forever branded as a totally insensitive asswipe, and may not get much custody or visitation with his kids.
"So, Johnny, show Tiki what he has won behind Door #2!"
"It's a piece of flighty, stupid, 23 year old ass!"
What a deal.
This comes on the heels of another epically bad decision - the decision to end his football career when he was heading into unrestricted free agency following a monster statistical year.
At the time, Tiki was praised as a "smarter-than-your-average-football-jock" guy who was going to seamlessly begin a new high profile career while saving his knees.
You know how football players always lament that they don't want to retire so broken and bruised that they can't even "play catch with their kids?"
Well, looks like that won't be a problem for Tiki.