Monday, April 26, 2010

I Think My Car Is Trying to Kill Me


Or, I am a careless, horrible driver.

You pick.

So let's now tally up how my 2005 Acura TL has treated me since I've owned it.

First of all, I have loved the car. Great, great car. Love it. Rides nice. Lots of near luxury features for the dollar, Honda engineering.

Problem is, I have now hit the following.

Deer (Fall '08) - KILLED
Deer (Winter '09) - Charging foul, deer lived.
Beltway Divider Wall (Winter '09)*
Door (Spring '09) - Cut down one tire. Only 5 mins late to work.
Deer (Spring '10) - KILLED (pics below)

* The beltway inner wall I hit after doing a full 360 in a snowstorm. Pretty scary, but miraculously didn't do anything more than scrape the right rear bumper and missed all other cars. Didn't even need a tow truck. Just gently slid back onto the road and went to work.

Now, here's the latest damage to the sled.

I need your help, oh readers.

Should I....

a. Sell the damn thing, it's jinxed!
b. Get remedial driving lessons
c. Ride it until I land in "the big one".
d. Just hose off those guts and pretend nothing happened.

Thanks for your support, people. I am sure the comments below will be merciless.



31 comments:

  1. I'd say, SLOW DOWN THERE LEADFOOT! I've had about the same amount of opportunities to nail bambi as you have yet I have managed to stop my sled before sending 'em to the big venizen forrest in the sky... there's a reason yer supposed to drive slower than the speedlimit in areas where deer fill the roads... and if you are going slower, pay better attention to wtf is ahead of you and go even slower on blind corners where critters seem to love to frolick in...

    spinning out doesn't happen because of bad-luck, it happens because you were going way too fast for the conditions you were driving in. slow down leadfoot!

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  2. Sounds like you should get it a hunting license.

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  3. It's obvious you have not tried the tested and true methods to change your mojo... This is all the more surprising since you are a sports nut. Did you try a new lucky hat whilst you drive? How about changing you seat position? Try not washing your socks for a month, or growing a 'driving beard'. These have all been proven to directly change the outcome of events. You gotta really WANT to not hit those deer. You're not wanting it bad enough...

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  4. Can I possibly be the first one to note that you (literally) scared the shit out of that deer?

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  5. Go find yourself a "slumpbuster" and do her in the back seat.

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  6. seems like alot of good advice here..... now would be a time you can take advantage of toyota's awesome deals. I believe you have said several time that you would still buy one (a toyota), so do it. Sell the car, feed the economy but either way you should get those cheap deer whistles that stick onto the car. They make it so these new quiet stealthy cars dont sneak up on bambi. I would also tell anyone that says "slow down", to "suck it" and keep driving however you want, its up to the po-po to decide who is driving too fast.

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  7. LOL, Czabe, your car goes all over the place just like your golf ball. I think you need to either 1)walk, 2)get a driver) 3)get a hummer.

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  8. find a friend in the taxidermy business and have them pose the deer in your garage right in front of where you park your car. that way, the car will get all the deer loving at night, and not need it while trying to do its job during the day. alternatively, you could use that same friend to mount the deer in either a pre-incident or post-incident pose, and hang them as trophies either in the garage or the 5-hour energy dome. think of it this way... your car has gotten a deer a year for the past three years, few hunters have that same skill.

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  9. Scott... I don't think it was the "scare" that mad the shit come out of that deer. I tend to believe it was the 3900 pound sled sucker punch to the gut.

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  10. Get rid of it. Obama wants you to get a hybrid. Thou shalt conform. Thou shalt obey.

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  11. Sigh.

    Sorry, Czabe, but if this were a court case, the evidence above would cearly convict you and indicate a sentence of "SLOW DOWN, already! How many creatures / objects do you have to hit before if dawns on you that you drive too fast for conditions?"

    It's bad enough that Fox cut you loose in favor of Stinkin' A. Smith. If you DIE you'll be REALLY hard to find, even on the web!

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  12. I think Czabe has a valid defense for hitting all those deer. He lives out in the boonies and that is just bad luck. Probably should slow down in the snow but that can happen to any of us. You and that car have been through a lot together. I say you press on with your beloved car.

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  13. Maybe you should mount a set of antlers on the front as a warning to the rest of the animal kingdom. Definitely find some alternative routes. BTW, I have the same ride and really love my TL also. The new ones look pretty sweet!

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  14. Damn the wildlife full speed ahead!

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  15. The better question would be: Where are the plastic little deer repellent devices that should be stuck to the bumper?? That's all you need (well, that and about another $3000 in body work).

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  16. Czabe, I have a Silver 2005 TL, and I have had nothing but bad luck as well. I was 35 when I bought the car, and up until then I had filed 1 insurance claim in my life. I think I have filed about 5 with this car alone.

    Less than a week after I got it, I came out of Costco and saw a runaway, flat-bed shopping cart slam into it. Since then I've hit a deer, backed into a wall at the car wash, ran into a giant pile of ice/snow during a snowstorm, been side-swiped while parallel parked on a city street, and been hit in the rear by a hit and run driver at 7-11.

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  18. Where the hell did my post go?!?!

    Anyways, this is a clear sign that you should run it in a demolition derby. Bring it to the "just north of Milwaukee" area, and I'll set it up for you to run in the Ozaukee County Fair's demo-derby. No charge. :)

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  19. Get a truck dude. I'm getting one myself. Of course, I'm still gonna roll in my John Cooper Works race tuned Mini Cooper Clubman whilst going from point A to B at high rates of speed because I believe in the Big Sky Theory (chances are you won't hit what's out there because there is a lot more open sky than deer occupied sky). You on the other hand are cursed by the Acura, so it's time for a GMC Sierra 2500 HD dude.

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  20. I echo the buy a license and exact revenge, do you part to thin the herd. Buying a large truck with a cow-catcher steel bumper may be a wise investment, just remember to hit them and not let them run into you.

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  21. hose it down and drive it into the ground

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  22. Give up and let the car have its way.

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  23. I agree with Jason, deer horn. Plus, do something with that poo: fertilize the garden, maybe some deer poo casserole. Show 'em they can't rattle you.

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  24. Mount a head to the front of the car and bring it down to central VA, you'll sell it within a day. Then go to a local car lot in central VA and get yourself a truck. Get a 4-cyl. 'cause it don't look like ye can handle nothin' more.
    :) yee ha

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  25. after taking a closer look at the pictures, i think what you got on the grill is some stomach content rather than full out deer-poo... you must have really lit that thing up.

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  26. A pickup with a brush guard on the front solves all your worries, Czabe. The brush guard results in being able to nail furry critters at speed and not damage the vehicle. It's marvelous! Assuming, of course, that you are not a furry creature, but hey, that's what they get for running into traffic.

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