Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Jay Cutler Silences Critics

From the genius satirists at The Onion, this story is even better considering that it was written BEFORE Jay's less-than-inspirational performance against the Packers!

CHICAGO—Silencing once and for all the multitude of critics who said he did not have what it took to be a postseason quarterback, Bears quarterback Jay Cutler led the Bears to the NFC Championship Game last Sunday by defeating the 8-10 Seattle Seahawks, by far the worst team ever to make the playoffs. "I think I've demonstrated what I'm truly capable of when I'm playing to my strengths," said Cutler, who threw for two touchdowns against Seattle's godawful 27th-ranked defense and had a four-game interception streak snapped only because Seahawks safety Jordan Babineaux inexplicably muffed a pass thrown at the goal line. "People got to see my true potential today." Cutler will play his first postseason game against an opponent with a winning record Sunday.


  1. Brilliant! Cutler needs to get picked up by Southwest Airlines... Want to get away?

  2. Chuck Norris strained his MCL in a fight, went to his corner and tore it completely with his bare hands and then went back out and knocked the stuffing out of his opponent.

  3. Wow! Apparently Rick Reilly IS right and Jay Cutler IS the "Most hated man in the NFL!"

    And just think, he was able to attain that status without killing a person while driving drunk or murdering dogs or even serving time in prison!

    What a guy!

  4. Albert- Here's the difference. Donte Stollworth is a non-factor 4th WR, so nobody really gives a shit about him. Mike Vick (even though I personally hate him and hope he dies a slow death) will get off because he is talented. Cutler gets the bump because he talks a lot of trash with nothing to show for it.

  5. I don't know what 'trash talk' you refer to, Sol, other than he doesn't bother to 'make nice' with reporters, many of whom (some would say most) are just bottom-feeding low-lifes, anyway who get really pissed when players don't give them what they want to hear.

    I wasn't even referring to Donte Stallworth. The guy he ran over was ALSO polluted so that may be a "push" as far as DUI.

    No, I was thinking of convicted vehicular-manlaugterer/former Ram linebacker, Leonard Little, who killed a women while driving drunk in the late 90's and then was stopped AGAIN for DUI a couple years after that.

    I guess Leonard was out of the league this season so maybe I'm wrong for citing him as an example.

    Whatever. The Cutler "Issue" is still way overwrought and just something for the media geese to honk about until Super Bowl week gets here.