Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The World of Peter King Just Keeps Opening Full of Wonders

Remember when Peter King confessed to just having found out about Guinness Beer and the movie Saving Private Ryan?

Well, apparently he just found out about something called "a keg stand."

Yep, in 2011.

With two daughters who have recently gone through college.

Man, this guy never misses a thing, does he?

1. There is this strange custom called a "Keg Stand'' that all kids evidently do now. You stand next to the keg, put both hands on the side of the keg, have two others lift your legs so that you're upside down, and, at that point, a third person takes the beer nozzle from the keg and puts it in your mouth while you drink it. A fourth person pumps the keg. And everyone counts the seconds you can last. (Dumb me, I didn't even know what this thing was, and it's apparently the most common of drinking games.) I didn't do it, thankfully. But congrats to Brittany, the biggest Sidney Crosby fan there is (who must be all of 102 pounds), who was able to last 24 seconds. Drinking upside-down. What a country.

In this week's edition of Monday Morning Quarterback, King also produces the following bits of brilliance.

a. If he were the Eagles, he wouldn't trade Kevin Kolb for anything less than THREE #1 draft picks, something which, I don't ever recall happening. Ever.

b. Admits amongst his worst predictions, was the that Carolina Panthers would make the playoffs and John Fox would be named Coach of the Year. The Panthers are currently "on the clock" to start the 2011 NFL Draft, and Fox has been fired.

c. A pitiful confession that Favre no longer returns his calls. (/blubbers uncontrollably)

d. Wishes Jim Nantz luck in his re-marriage to his 31 year old former girlfriend. Hey, Pete knows other famous people! Aren't you impressed?

e. Produces a "Fine Fifteen" ranking, whereby the 6-10 Lions check in at 15. Sure.

As usual, Pete produces a column that is long on word count, short on actual insight. But the unintentional laugh riot reads like a rollercoaster of WTF?


  1. I usually read the MMQ as the digested version presented by the good people at another blog (KSK) *ahem* *cough, cough* and they really ream him a new one on a regular basis.

    When I read that he was actually here in my hometown for the Winter Classic,.. I was like.. UGH!! And I missed him! Missed being in his douchy presence!?

    Thanks, Czabe for your hand in making this guy's insanity in print more tolerable.

  2. Peter King is full of it. He graduated from Ohio University...one of the top five party schools in the country. He's known about keg stands. He's making this up to cover the shame and embarrassment of never being able to participate because no one could lift his fat ass up!

  3. The man has about as much value to the human race as Colin Cowherd.

  4. my hate list:
    1. Colin Cowherd
    2. Same & Samer
    3. Screamin' A Smith
    4. P-King Duck

    Although the Lions checking in @ 15 on his list isn't that much of a stretch is it? Although don't know if Lions fans want to be on a top 15 PKing Duck list (See Panthers and John Fox).

  5. This just in, Peter King writes that he just found out girls in bikinis and lingerie pose for pictures that are published in magazines and glossy catalogs!

  6. If that Carolina prediction is true than the guy is a first class incompetent. It is a well known fact that the Panthers trimmed payroll, dumped Delhomme, retained Fox and signed no free agents in order to save cash for the impending work stoppage. This is like picking the Florida Marlins to REPEAT in the World Series AFTER the fire sale. Sheesh.

  7. Wait until the big reveal of Summer 2012: Peter King will "discover" Pringles.

    "Yeah, there are these potato chips that, believe it not, come in a can. And they're all the same size!"

  8. I thought a keg stand was a piece of furniture to put your keg on.

  9. And HE gets a vote every year for the Hall of Fame.