"I Put My Reputation On These Guys"

Mike Shanahan, please hand in your reputation.

From Dan Steinberg in the DC Sports Bog:

“I believe in the guys,” Mike Shanahan said in July, when asked about John Beck and Rex Grossman. “I believe in ‘em. And I’ve been doing this for a long time. And I put my reputation on these guys that they can play.”  

“I believe in both these quarterbacks,” Mike Shanahan said in November. “And I’ve got to give them the right supporting cast. That’s my job, and I’m going to give them the right supporting cast, but both guys will get the job done.”  

Well, the job is now done, as it were, allowing us to total up some final 2011 statistics. Rex Grossman had 20 interceptions. John Beck had 4 interceptions. Grossman lost 5 fumbles. Beck lost 1 fumble. That’s a combined 30 turnovers for the two quarterbacks Mike Shanahan put his reputation on.

For comparison sake, that's the most turnovers since Heath, Gus, and Friesz in 1994 (34). It's more than Shane, Danny and Patrick (26 in 2002). Even more than Gus and Hoss (27 in 1997).

Hell, Campbell and Colllins in TWO seasons combined only had 28 total, from 2007 through the end of 2008.

But geez, who could have seen that coming? I mean, who?! ZOMG! Rex Grossman? Turnover prone? If only there was some FILM on this guy!

Recall how Rex got here. Shanny's eager young silver spoon Lombardi-in-waiting, Kyle, was roommates on the road with Rex as the Houston Texans' back-up. They must have spent countless nights in the hotel room trading under-the-blanket farts and giggles while impressing each other with their knowledge of red-right-flank-zoom-toggle-65-jet-smoke plays.

So Rex came with the boy and stayed for two years like that stoner friend of your roommate who just won't go away. Eating your food. Clogging your toilets, making a lot of un-funny jokes while you tried to watch TV.

And now, well, looks like Shanny Sr. is gonna have to hunker down and try to figger out this whole QB thing all over again.

But don't worry. He KNOWS the quarterback position. Said as much this year after the Redskins 3-1 start.

Even though - and I do hate to keep bringing this up - he did NOT know that McNabb was finished. And even though he did NOT think Andy Dalton was worth a shot in the 2nd round (would have required a minor trade-up). And even though he somehow did not, or maybe still DOES not see the dripping suckitude of his two guys on the roster right now, don't worry.

He's got this shit. Okay? Sit tight.

I got snookered this year into banging my pots and pans loudly on radio for John Beck.

"He can't be worse" I said.

He was.

Oh.... my... GOD. He was worse.

In start #2, Beck set the Redskins record for being sacked with 10 takedowns. Astute analysts however, assured us that "only" six of those were "his fault."

So often when Beck played, the look inside his facemask on closeups betrayed the great lie of his brief journeyman career: he's an IMPOSTOR!

He's the Frank Abagnale Jr. of NFL QB's.

He was smart enough and eager enough to know the playbook backward and forward. He worked hard. He looked really SHARP in practice, and even in pre-season games.

Then when the bullets started flying, he was scared shitless. Even HE knew deep down, that he's no NFL caliber QB. Not even a backup!

Just watch. His career is over. The Shanaclan were the last true believers. And now that's over too.

After getting sacked those 10 times in Buffalo, the coaches urged him to "dump the ball off" more against the Niners.

He did. A total of 14 times alone to rookie RB Roy Helu, which .... waaiiiitttt for iiiiitttttt... SET ANOTHER REDSKINS record!

It eclipsed the former mark set by HOF'er Art Monk, who once caught 13 for 205 against the Bengals in 1985. Helu's 14, by the way, was for a piddling 105 yards, which makes that juice "not worth the squeezin'" as they say.

Couldn't be a nicer guy, that John Beck.

Impostor.

I wish him well.

So now, drafting in the 6-hole, they have no shot at Luck or Griffin. Barkley is off the board. Jones may go back to school. He also might suck. All the others are not rated high enough to take at the 6 spot, even if you really do like a guy like Weeden or Moore.

But you need somebody. You need somebody like Snooki needs a good Italian boy with low standards.

You need to get somebody in the pipeline, at least. You need somebody to start Week 1, at most.

You have Matt Flynn starring the possible sequel to The Matt Cassel Story. Or, was that the Scott Mitchell Chronicles? I get them mixed up all the time.

What if you throw big dollars at Flynn and he GOES SOMEWHERE ELSE, because now even Dan Snyder's money is like confederate currency?

Do you trade up to get Griffin, and mortgage another #1 and a #2? Would he fit the magical Shanahan "system." Do you get nuts and rebuild the Colts for 10 years with a Hershel Walker like play for Luck?

Do you take a possibly broken down old nag in Peyton Manning and watch the #18's fly off the store shelves, win or lose?

You can't do nothing, though. You did that last year. Didn't quite work out. Doing nothing is now, not an option. These two "practice seasons" for the $7 million a year former Super Bowl winning coach are over.

Shanny's former 5-year plan, is down to a one year plan.

The ol' Crimson Fox has got a quota to meet this coming year. And the winning number is 8.