Sorry

The inescapable fact of sports, is that there are losers.

We can't all be winners, and as Judge Smails once said: “The world needs ditch diggers, too!”

Sometimes, the losers stay losers, for long long periods of time. Like say, the Pittsburgh Pirates. Currently working on their 18th consecutive losing season, what can you say to your fans? Wait until next DECADE?

That doesn't stop teams from TRYING, however, to placate the angry season ticket holders, with whatever they can.

Sometimes, it is a letter.

The Wall Street Journal has a great collection of “We're Very Sorry We Suck, But We Wanted To Let You Know We're Working on It” letters from various teams. Among the excerpts.

“Our record was to be expected – but it will not be accepted. Big difference, I think. What matters most to me, is how we respond to adversity this season – knowing it will come in heavy doses occasionally.”

Timberwolves President David Kahn on his club's 1-9 start this year.

Who was Kahn's co-writer? Michael Scott? Good grief. Must make Wolves fans real thrilled everytime they watch Kevin Garnett light it up for Boston.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Charlie Weiss is a certified d-bag, and there's nothing like going out with a big ol' stinky pile of classlessness. Kudos to FoxSports.com's Mark Kriegel, who top-rope-elbow-slams Weiss one last time, and deservedly so.

Kriegel highlights a particularly narcissistic quote from Weiss.

“There are people in New England who say, 'There's a rift between Weis and Belichick.' We've never been closer because I've stuck by him. While all this stuff was going down in New England, there was one person who was sticking by him, and that was me."

Did I miss something? Was Belichick hanging by a thread when Charlie saved him with a helping hand?

If the me-and-Bill bit is vomitously self-serving, it's also predictable. Take away his association with Belichick, and what else does a guy like Charlie Weis have?
Which brings me, in an admittedly roundabout way, to the point. My disgust with this pompous ass has led me to uncover the most overrated commodity in football, maybe all of sports: the Bill Belichick coaching tree.

REACT: Awesome. Read it all.

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It angers me that I cannot write things this funny, nor think in such obstusely fascinating ways as the boys at Deadspin do on a regular basis.

Take for example, this post about the rather amazing (yet under-reported) news item that Randy Hansen – aka Tom Cable's punching bag – is back to work with the Raiders!

Hanson, the former defensive assistant, is now in the personnel department, i.e. somewhere he won't cross paths with Tom Cable. Even though no charges were filed against Cable, this is probably good for everyone's working environment. But what would possess a man to return to a team where he was told, quite emphatically with fists, that his input wasn't particularly valued?

That last line reads like a majestic Jose Canseco moon-blast on full steroidal booster juice. And the A-B-C-D-E choice combo platter is flat out genius. Well done, chaps. Well... done!