Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Snickies du Jour: Natalie Gulbis and Alex Morgan

When my colleague Scott Linn got news that his soccer playing future ex-Mrs-Linn Alex Morgan had posed for the SI Swimsuit issue, he was positively giddy.

When he heard "body paint" his peeny when "hmmmmp!"

In a similar vein, every golfer I know has been breathlessly sending me these Natalie Gulbis bodypaint pics from the very same SI issue.

My thoughts: eh. Not only do the painted bikinis look fake, but the models look fake too! Somebody put down the photoshop airbrush!

I like Natalie. She'a a cool chick who knows the deal. She doesn't suck, but she also realizes that her financial future depends on being hot enough to pose for spreads like this, and just good enough to make the TV coverage on most LPGA weekends.

That said, I think Nat looks WAY hotter wearing golf gear. Including a hat. Hard to explain I suppose, but something about a hot chick in hot golf clothes in her sporting element just does a lot more for me.

Same thing for Alex Morgan. She's got a frontcourt like a 12 year old, so posing nekkid with just paint doesn't seem to make any sense.

I like Alex in a tight ponytail, sweating from head to toe, churning those lean soccer gams for 90 minutes against some helgas in the World Cup.

These body paint spreads have had their day. Time to let them go quietly into the swimsuit night, SI, not unlike fishnets that show some nipplage.


  1. I didn't think it was possible to eff up the swimsuit issue, but not impressed with all the airbrushing and photfixing...

  2. The Alex Morgan shot with paint looks "fake" because of the lighting and background combination. With some additional contrast in post-processing this effect is enhanced. The beauty dish light modifier which is most likely used in glamour type photography gives the "wrap around" lighting quality which puts shadows on the edges of the body surfaces.

  3. I'm right there with ya, Czabe!

    The 2nd picture you posted of Alex Morgan is much more attractive-looking than the first, in my opinion!

  4. In Gulbis's first picture she looks like a character in the movie Avatar.

    I will say Alex Morgan does have a chiseled body. Little light upstairs.. but hey!

  5. I agree, both pictures of them in bikinis looking they are CGI.

  6. They can both eat crackers in my bed anytime.

  7. There is nothing sexier than a confident woman with a fit, sculpted, athletic physique. Most of the swimsuit models in SI are anorexic waifs with no muscle tone or definition, and sagging breasts.

    The body painted athletes in the swimsuit edition are THE sexiest women in the the mag.


  8. Gams I agree with you with one exception. Kate Upton, this year's cover girl, is a welcome departure from that body type. She's a full-figured lovely with curves in all the right places.