Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Commercial Wife With "Championship Attitude"

So as men, we all sit around watching the same sporting events and highlight shows, and as such end up seeing the same basic sets of commercials.

It's what Madison Avenue types like to call "bang for your demographic buck!"

Well, it occurred to me that there are three mythical women whom I need some of your thoughtful feedback on. I know these are actresses, reading lines, in commercials which were storyboarded, written, and re-written a million times by some faceless agency-30-somethings in a New York high rise.

So let me be clear: I understand these women are not real.

Okay, good.

Now... going along with the fantasy... what do you fellow guys think about the following ladies, and which one has the most "championship attitude" as a commercial wife?

I imagine the impossibly wholesome wife with the naughty streak in this Samsung commercial is going to win on both looks and "championship attitude." After all, here's a very lovely lady, with two impish and well behaved sweet daughters... yet... BOOM... there's a BAD GIRL underneath!

However I also have a liking to the Burger King woman who just MUST get a nasty-ass Whopper at two in the morning. Sure, she's less physically attractive, disheveled and... hello.. KNOCKED UP... she so relishes that burger it makes you think that's not the only thing she sometimes just "has to have!"

Then there is this sporty looking middle-aged woman in the DirecTV "Out of Space" commercial series. She seems the most "up tight" of these ladies, but has an undeniable classic beauty to her. She looks even better dressed up ready to hit the town in a later version.

So there you go. Thoughts? Discussion? I mean, this is the kind of crucially important stuff the internet was absolutely invented for.

/high fives Al Gore


  1. Who on earth, man or woman, are more interested in Direct TV, after watching The Bickersons snipe at each other? The direct opposite of the phone commercial.

  2. By far the Samsung! Smoking hot...and a "special video". OMG if only! Sadly, only a select few would actually pull this off and nobody pulled me aside some 15 years ago and said make sure you check all the boxes before taking that stroll.

  3. The Samsung wife definitely although I have to question her intelligence with the number of phones that get hacked these days.

    Who on earth would think a pregnasaurous with a burger craving is even remotely attractive?

  4. The Samsung ad is a HUGE win. Focuses you on the "tap sharing" technology while also taking you into a moderately realistic fantasy world. Married, 2 kids, hubby heading out on business trip, and to think you have a wife that will be pining for you. That's GOLD Jerry, Gold!

    The BK one is less appealing, because it focuses you on the pregnant wife and "craving a Whopper". Cravings are always portrayed as unappealing food combinations and pairings, and never as "good food" items. The only people that want Whopper's at 2 in the morning are drunk, high, or pregnant.

    The DirecTv ads are meaningless to me (in all of their forms). No one thinks that much about their DVR. Big waste, and focus more on too many TV choices and a disgruntled husband.

  5. "Better not watch that one on the plane" wins hands down.

    The DirecTv ads do have some humor. "Now lets get down on this cheese. Brett, you look like a bree man." (sp?)

  6. Samsung wife with the BK prego wife a close second because prego chicks are kind of hot and I bet she is craving other things other than a whopper.

  7. None of these commercials do it for me. The samsung wife I understand, but the granola looking husband isn't a good match.
    Most pregnant women don't crave meat, the smell makes them sick.
    the dvr commericials make me think the adults are prima donas. Be a parent and shut down Jr's recording priorities.

    The babe that does it for me is the girlfriend, (clearly perfect wife material) in the verizon commerical: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMOYwPqpJ0A

  8. I'm for inappropriate humor as much as the next guy, but in the right context / arena. What does it say about our society in general when we now have national mass marketing campaigns based on the premise of homemade porn?

    A parent watching weekend sports with his young kids should not have to offer an explanation when asked "why should the daddy not watch the video from the mommy while he is on the plane?"

    1. Hey, I'm all for morals and am a fairly conservative Christian, but the fact that the commercial didn't go too far (Go Daddy), and it portrays an apparent nuclear family with a husband and wife doing "what they should do" (being discretely flirty with each other) is good, innocent fun (but risky, a la the Griswold's Euro Vacation).

      If my kid asks, I say "some things are only meant for adults to understand".

    2. Fair point, but it's still somewhat of a pathetic narrative that so much marketing has to be wrapped in sex to get the attention of the consumer...but hey, they've got all of us talking about it, which is their biggest goal outside of selling the product.

  9. Oh yes, the Samsung wife does exist! That's all I'm saying. :)

  10. here's an older one with some sexual innuendo that's pretty funny...


  11. Samsung Galaxy...hope dad doesn't forward it to the kids.

  12. No way. The Bud Light "Stranger" commercial involving the French Maid wife takes the cake. Sorta older commercial, but blows the rest of these out of the water.


    Hope you get back to ESPN 980 soon Mr. Czabe. We miss you!

  13. That Samsung wife is awesome: Hot and playful. I like this trend much more than the heavy run of 'know-it-all wife humiliating cuckolded husband' commercials

  14. For me, it's a pretty close race between "home porn" wife and "fresh out of the shower" wife. While I think the shower wife is a smidge hotter than the porn wife, the porn wife IS making homemade porn, so...

    Pregnant wife is not nearly as appealing. Yes, she's knocked up, so clearly she's not against "giving it up" now and then, but at the same time it takes a real special woman to still look uber-hot while pregnant. The woman in this commercial is NOT (in my opinion) uber-hot. Now if they'd have had Kate Upton wearing a fake pregnancy pillow under her shirt...

  15. Samsung wife. The commercial does hit the mark for:
    1) husband clearly outkicked his coverage with her
    2) 2 adorable kids
    3) Wife smarter than husband

    The Direct TV ad is good. Who has not been that sarcastic when trying to get some extra naked viewing?

  16. Winner: hands down wife with a special video; although, her dirty hippie husband doesn't match...bad casting.
    The Direct Tv is the first commercial in a long time that actually features a smart husband who gets in the last dig....usually the husband is outsmarted by his kids, wife, painter, plumber, kindergarten teacher, etc....especially if he is white.
    Howevah, the hottest wife-like chick in recent commercials is the girl in the red top that she's nearly busting out of with the long curly black hair that is hosting some freak 49ers fan who used to live in that apartment when the Niners last won a championship.

  17. The Samsung Mom. It is the raised eyebrow that says that she is mischeivious and interesting. Hot, but has a streak that keeps things open. As for what to tell the kids, just tell them that it is a personal message. I would rather explain that all day long than scramble to change the channel when a Call of Duty or Horror Movie Du Jour commercial comes on and scares the crap out of my 5 year old! The Burger King mom is not bad either.

  18. Some excellent analysis peeps! Some obvious marketing types in the room here! Agreed that the DirecTV ad misses the mark in many ways. But a DVR out of space doesn't seem to rank high on people's "problems" or "desires." Just erase some crap!

    The Samsung MILF is of course, too perfect, but hey you never know, right? And how many buddies will "married guy" touch-transfer that thing to just to say: Look at my wife!?

    As for the BK woman, I can't believe she wouldn't be creeped out by the 2 a.m. clientele at a BK. Hell, that crowd at 1 p.m. is often dicey.

    Most of all, I do like the fact that at least the DirecTV "man" isn't getting crapped on. Pretty much any commercial these days involving a man/woman couple portrays the man as stupid, boorish, henpecked, or helpless.

    1. "Most of all, I do like the fact that at least the DirecTV "man" isn't getting crapped on. Pretty much any commercial these days involving a man/woman couple portrays the man as stupid, boorish, henpecked, or helpless."
      thank you for restating my case; it has driven me bat excrement crazy forever. every man is reduced to a knuckle-dragging donkey; being outwitted by his 3-year old and disrespected by his wife and everyone else. i wonder where it all went wrong...cough...libs in charge of every type of media...cough.

  19. I am going for the Samsung mom, then the BK preggo wife, and finally the DirecTV wife.

    The Samsung mom has the mischevous look in her eye, and while her "assets" aren't great, I bet she tears it up. I will say though that the straight hair makes her look a little hippie-ish to me, just like her old man. That is the only thing she has going against her.

    The BK wife has to be reviewed in context. What chick is going to look hot at 2:00 AM unless of course you are hitting the BK on your way home from the bar/club. In this case, she's got the 2:00 AM craving. And the fact that she's with child means her old man is doing something right. Give her a couple of months to get the A-game back after birthin' the kid and toss on a little makeup and something other than the tired, bed-head look, and I bet she would bring it.

    Finally, the DirecTV chick. The first time I saw this, I though, FINALLY! The guy gets a line that every married guy who is 15 years in thinks. She is only average looking at best, and the fact that her recording Oprah, or Trading Spaces, or some other Lifetime, man-bashing movie prevents our hero from being able to watch the Lakers game, or whatever football game might be on, he is perfectly justified for his remarks, and I would dare say he doesn't go far enough. If he has to endure that his old lady should be walking around the house nekkid full time, and providing benefits if you know what I mean.

  20. I completely forget what the commercial was for, but the distracted guy sitting in bed while the uber-hot wife is standing their in lengerie is a good one.

    1. Do you mean this one?


  21. The Samsung lady would win hands down if it wasn't for the dirty hippie she's married to.

    Bk wife.....naw

    The DirectTV guy is the real hero. His wife is probably the type who has read all the 50 Shades of Grey books, but heaven forbid if he tries any of that "dirty stuff". I mean what kind of woman does he take her for? Matter of fact I imagine the Direct TV guy fast forwards thru EVERY commercial until he gets to the Samsung ad. Then he lets it play while just staring at his wife out the corner of his eye.

    Best ad though? It's this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkU1p03pjZ0 Now that's an ad.

  22. This is a no-brainer. Mrs. Direct TV is hinted at having issues about being seen in the nude. By her HUSBAND?Mrs. Burger King is VERY heavy with child. Mrs. Samsung has "That Twinkle" in her eye and, apparently, a VERY healthy attitude towards sex in her marriage.

  23. While on the topic of the same ads being drummed repeatedly throughout sporting contests, anyone notice that in the new Cialis ads the old guys seem to have definitely upgraded to a newer model?

    Porn spoof on the Samsung commercial in 3,2,1...

  24. Samsung wife without question. Hot. Creates movies. And was smiling as the husband dutifully leaves on a trip to watch her two small girls.

    No bitching. No yelling: "better not go out while I stay at home with YOUR kids".

    Angel from fucking heaven. I love that commercial... ::tearing up::

  25. What about Mrs. Claus?

    GREAT parody of their own commercial!!!


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