Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tiger Pops His Head Out

It's on.

I had never before wanted to actively root against Tiger Woods, but he has now left me with no choice.

With his planned dog, pony, and tears show at Tour Headquarters on Friday, the Tiger Woods of Golf, has become the Tiger Woods of Douchebaggery.

Now every time a Rich Beem, Y.E. Yang, or Angel Cabrera pops up to thwart him in a major, it will be an episode of fist pumping joy for me on the couch.

Tiger Woods doesn't deserve our respect anymore. He did before the Thanksgiving accident. He did while he was dealing with the fallout. He did while he was going through rehab (allegedly). And I was prepared to give him that respect once he did come back.

But not now. Enough is enough. Not only hasn't he learned from any of this, but he's doubling down on petty and stupid. A presser that takes away thousands of column inches from the very Tour sponsor that was the first to drop him?

Coincidence, I'm sure.

This phony attempt to put things behind him is going to backfire, and backfire badly. For starters, his fellow Tour Pros are already blasting it.

“It’s selfish,” said Ernie Els, mincing no words. “You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament.”

Secondly, you can't just say "no comment" forever. At some point, live people with real questions about all of this, will get within shouting distance of Woods and then the real game will begin.

Will Woods walk out of Tour press avails at the first non-golf question lobbed his way? Will the Tour start stripping credentials of writers and broadcasters who do not toe the line of "questions about club selection only, please."

To fully appreciate the arrogance of Team Tiger, soak in this statement from PR "guru" (sarcasm=on) Mark Steinberg.

Steinberg issued a press release noting that other reporters excluded from the session would be allowed to watch from a nearby room ... located a mile away at the Sawgrass Marriott. It read: "As a courtesy, there will be a room made available at a nearby conference center for credentialed reporters."

Heh. "As a courtesy..." Yeah. Thanks.

At this point, I know that some of you will say: "Hey Czabe, what do you think Tiger OWES to you, or anyone else in the media?"

Me? Nothing. And it's really not about the rest of the golf/sports media either.

Tiger owes it to the Tour. To his fellow pros. To the game of golf.

That's who.

Tiger needs to understand that while his failings are personal, there is a seismic professional fallout at his workplace for those actions. He needs to "get it" that despite his off-course prowess (now mortally wounded) at making money, it remains the PGA Tour that provides the stage for his career and enormous wealth.

As such, it was, and is, incumbent upon Tiger to properly MITIGATE that damage professionally, and at the very least DO NOT MAKE IT WORSE!

Wow, has he failed miserably.

The first casualty is the Tour's Commissioner Tim Finchem, who allowed himself to be co-opted by Team Tiger in this farce. Maybe he had no choice. The Tour, minus Woods, is buried in an unplayable lie. Finchem knows this. But there are times for leadership and principle, and Finchem has now shown he has very little of either.

Tiger's camp says they "reached out" to The Tour in order to "assist with logistics" for this event.

Finchem should have said: "I'll give you the number for the Sheraton in Orlando. They have plenty of big ballrooms, perfect for holding a press conference." And then hung up.

Tiger's responsibility was to take the barrage of arrows from the media, like the hail of Persian arrows in the movie "300" that promised to "blot out the sun."

Replied Stelios, unflinching: "Then we will fight in the shade."

Tiger should have held an honest, open, "bring it on" presser at a neutral site. Hell, find a stadium if you need something bigger. Think Jerry World!

Tiger's problems, are all his own. Accordingly, he should have the class and consideration NOT to bring them to the office. By this selfish approach, he's doing just the opposite. He's practically inviting the media to try to get to him from inside the ropes on Tour.

His fellow pros, well, they'll just have to lump it. Sorry, chumps.

So now, it's on. I can root against Tiger on Sundays with full and un-conflicted gusto. May he never reach Jack's magic number of 18 majors.

I know this will likely be a fruitless exercise. With only 4 majors to go, Woods is a mere 35 years old come December. Given a solid decade left of his "prime", Jack's record should be a layup.

But at least Tiger has clarified where I stand, on him.

A selfish jerk, is just a selfish jerk. No matter how far he can hit a stinger 2-iron.

Congratulations, Eldrick. You've outdone yourself on this one.

PS: This shit, has got to stop too.


  1. Tiger does not owe any statement to anyone except his wife and children. And that includes Tim Fichem and the PGA tour. Also any players on tour chirping negatively about him should keep their traps shut because thanks to Tiger, Finchem and the all the player's pockets are fatter. And I would venture to guess 75% of them have cheated on their wives as well. I for one will be cheering for him and cant wait for him to get back since I havent watched a lick of golf without him.

  2. I agree with your sentiment in that a press conference is a press conference and shouldnt be an invitation only event. He cant control everything his way forever and he must realise that now - when you see Ernie Els criticise him its a sign that his fellow players are getting annoyed and more importantly dont mind being open about it.
    However a small part of me likes the fact he is taking publicity away from Accenture - they were quick out of the blocks to disown him - why should he care about them now. They were happy to be associated with him during the good times and frankly what he does in his private life is up to him. If they sign a contract with a player they should take the rough with the smooth and not disown him. They could have done it differently i am sure but they choose to do it their way so now he chooses to do it his way. I have no problem with that.
    He needs a reality check though because he will not be revered in the way he has been up to now.

  3. I'm sure he's fully aware of the crap he will hear from the gallery now. The guy was trained very well by his father to block everything out. Over time everything will all blow over and he will be a fan favorite again...Hell based on the ratings for the PGA so far this year he still is the fan favorite...And there is no difference between the cheating he did vs the cheating Arnie and Jack did years ago besides the fact that Tiger got caught.

  4. Glad I'm not into golf, so all this Tiger crap is useless blather!

  5. Tiger needs to get this over with. Answer questions truthfully without divulging gory details. Then focus on playing golf. Kind of like ripping off a band aid. Eventually, his story will be overplayed and will tire out on its own.

    Otherwise, we'll have never ending awkward moments at every tour event he plays.

  6. I hope he comes to the microphone, looks at the camera, double middle finger...and walks out.

    Then I hope Ellen sneaks up behind him and clubs him with a folding chair..

  7. I really don't care where Tiger pokes his putter. All I want to hear is when he's coming back.

  8. A FRIDAY press conference is one of the oldest tricks in the PR Book. No one watches the news over the weekend so the reaction to his statement can be limited. It's actually a really smart move.

    As for the actual press conference - who cares if reporters can't ask questions. The reporters say they're doing it for me the fan, but why do I "deserve" to know any more than he wants to tell me.

    What really gets me are all the sports "journalists" and commentators, especially on the 4-letter, that think they have the RIGHT to ask questions to the guy. Get over yourselves. You're not the police of morality and all that is right in the world.

  9. I first off think that once a cheater, always a cheater. Before Thanksgiving, I like Czabe had a little suspicion about his body and cough cough, steroids. Now, I firmly believe that as he was putting things in other people's bodies, he was probably putting something in his body. That very well could explain his throwing of clubs on a regualr basis.
    Second, I would not think he owes anybody anything, except for the fact that he makes most of his money from endorsements. He is selling himself to the public. Once you want to put yourself out there for positive reasons (money through endorsements), you can't complain when you mess up and it becomes public.
    I would think you would get it by now, just take your month of humiliation and everyone will forgive you, but you are too much of a dick that people like Czabe have changed their minds on to take you or the field on Sunday afternoons. You might as well make your red shirt and sew a scarlet A on it. Congrats Eldrick, you are king dbag.

  10. Welcome to the Anybody But Tiger Club Czabe. I have had no problem actively rooting against the guy. I have been a Nicklaus fan my whole life, and I don't want to see Tiger break his major championship record, period. Tiger is like the Yankees and Patriots to me, and just as I have every right to root against them, I have every right to root against him. Is he possibly the best ever? Sure, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. And for anyone who believes I have to be racist to hold my views, realize that I think that the assholes at Augusta and many other private clubs took way to long to do the right thing and allow blacks and others in. Now we have people like Darkstar who don't apparently watch golf unless Tiger is playing. What an f'ing baby. Golf doesn't need "fans" like that anyway, who are similar to the ones who yell, "Get in the hole!" on the tee shot of a 600 yard par 5, or who yell at Phil Mickelson's ball "Get in the water!" off the 18th tee at Doral a couple of years ago. Go drink beer and watch bowling (which I like) for all I care, and take your false god worship and shove it.

  11. Great post...i'm anti tiger now also

  12. Great post Czabe - I too will be cheering for the underdog now more than ever - if people can't see how this dog and pony show is an insult to the other pros on the tour then they are just blind, stupid, uninformed or stupid (opps, said that already, but it bears repeating). If there was fear and loathing of Tiger in the past in the lockeroom you ain't seen nothing yet - wait till word leaks out about Tiger getting litterally smacked up side his head by Ernie Els or another pro...this will happen - Tiger should just hope that there's a no gun in the lockeroom policy in place.

  13. Great post Czabe!

    While Tiger has a zen-like focus on the course, he also has lost his temper a couple of times. I think this will usher in an era of lots of people getting ejected from the galleries as they cough "porn star" and "Urchtel" during his back swing. It's like having a whole separate event going on as an undercurrent.

  14. you think the screaming and smashing clubs is going to stop...He's turned Heel!!!

    Hollywood Tiger. I bet he has a Hogan NWO style beard at the press conference.

    It's Tiger vs. the world.

  15. Anyone who says Tiger dosen't owe the fans anything is dead wrong. He owes EVERYTHING to the fans. They are the reason he is able to play a game for a living and make absurd amounts of money doing it.If the fans weren't there, he be a really good golfer , cheating on his wife playing the local course.. After he got home from work. He let the people that matter most in his life down (wife and kids) and he let the next million most importanant people in his life down (his fans). He owes the PGA and the players an apology for getting all the negative press aned taking away from the actual game. And last, he owes his sponsors an apology for damaging their ad campaigns that relied completely on his image.

  16. I fucking hate him. Always have, always will. Bitching at gallerys, playing up the wincing knee pain. Fuck him. Jack is the king forever. I encourage all galleries to kill this dipshit mercilessly.

  17. let the backfireation-sensation begin! MEMO TO ELDRICK: Asking people who put food on their table by stalking public people like yourself to "stop it" is not going to work... Instead of asking TMZ to layoff, START INVESTING IN ARMED ISRAELI SECURITY to manage your photog problem... just remember to put a few million sheckles aside for all the wrongful death lawsuits they'll generate for yee.

    Get your ass back on the course Eldrick and start answering questions like the rest of your competitors. You do not deserve ANY concessions from the media- you treated them like dirt when you were Captain Pure and now that you're Private DirtBag you gotta face the questions AND ANSWER THEM.

    Oh, and STOP LYING TO US! I do not know a single man who's ever gotten caught cheating on his wife/sig-other and she didn't go justifiably balls-out-nuts/ballistically-violent on him. You got caught on Thanksgiving and stop telling us NOTHING BAD HAPPENED OTHER THAN MY DRIVING... liar.

    GET BACK ON THE TOUR AND START DOMINATING AGAIN! That's the only apology I'll accept from you since you want to have everything-else YOUR WAY.