Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The New Suzy Chapstick?

Now that Lindsay Vonn has won her gold in the signature, heavyweight division, alpine event - downhill - she is free to start ringing the endorsement register to her bank account's content.

Good for her.

The gal is so All American she makes the Osmond family look like Bin Ladens. Blonde hair, blue eyes, killer smile, a body harder than a run full of icy moguls, and most importantly - a winner!

My colleague Andy Pollin reminded me that she was "sorta like" the Suzy Chaffee of the new millenium.

Ahhhh, yes. Suzy Chapstick!

Greatest name-to-product-endorsement-match ever!

A hot blonde skiier, whose name sounds exactly like the one critical product to have in your ski parka: lip balm!

The only problem, is that Suzy Chaffee didn't win a gold medal. Not even close!

"Chaffee was named captain of the US Women's team and was one of the favorites in the downhill at the 1968 Winter Olympics in Grenoble, France. She finished 28th in the downhill, blaming her poor showing on using the wrong wax, but she made a global impression with her skin-tight silver racing suit."

This isn't to say she sucked.

She was quite good at freestyle skiing (a much tamer form of ski "dancing" almost, not the radical freestyle of today with jumps and flips and moguls) and went on to advocate strongly on behalf of Title IX.

But Vonn is a certified winner. And nothing smells - or sells - like winning, baby!

Now that she's done the SI Swimsuit issue, I ask: first female gold medal winner to go "all nude" for Playboy, anybody? I mean, tastefully done, of course.


  1. Does Amanda Beard's appearance in the magazine count? I'd need to see a ruling from the judges on that one.

  2. Could you not have waited to post this until after NBC showed it to us employed shmucks? Christ Czabe, it's 9:35pm and Vonn is crossing the finish line, but thanks to you, I already know she won the gold. Thanks a lot, dickhead!

  3. Sorry Martin, I don't think you have much of a complaint here. If you wanted to go all "Cone of Silence" you probably could have avoided sports results by not going to a SPORTS BLOG.

    Or maybe you were being which case I took the bait (and it was delicious).

  4. Even before Amanda, there was Katarina Witt.

  5. Best name to product endorcement, how about Jimmy Johnson pitching male enhancement with ExtenZe. Can't beat a bigger Johnson.

  6. no Bill, not being sarcastic. I'm not sure what "cone of silence" refers to - and I do try to avert my eyes from the ESPN crawler - but I fail to see why this item needed to be posted before NBC actually showed the event.

  7. Kind of digging "Princess Julia" Mancuso's vibe too...she's the silver queen so far. Seems like a bit of a party girl (judging from the hot tub photos)

  8. Czabe -
    A few years back your show had one of the greatest radio bits of all time...."Who's Cow?".....playing off the ESPN trainweck of a waste of time..."Who's Now?" You bracketed like at least 16 different voluptous women....pitting women like Oprah vs. Roseanne and so forth. It was classic!
    Well, after watching the Olympics this past week, including the opening ceremonies, I have come up with a new bracketing game for you and the boys. "Who's got the Schmeckel?" My Olympic inspirations inspired a first round matchup of KD Lang vs. Johnny Weir.