Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Let's Give It Up For "The U!"

Now that Tiger's divorce has gone final, I'd like to dedicate this post to the woman perhaps MOST responsible for bringing down the mightiest single person sports empire since Air Jordan.

Rachel Uchitel, come on down! Take a bow, honey!

Oh sure, I know. Only Tiger's wayward penis is responsible for bringing down the Tiger Era in golf.

But "The U" as I call her, certainly helped. Supposedly, she was NOT "Mistress #1" even though her name was what led to that car crash on Thanksgiving night. She was the woman outed first by the National Enquirer (score another one for them. Boy, they sure are getting shit right a lot these days.)

They SAYYYYY that Tiger wasn't sleeping with her, instead she was just the high end Pimpstress who lined up other bimbos for Tiger. Oh sure, whatever. Like Tiger is going to say, "thanks for the ass, Rache, but you know we gotta be cool. This is a professional relationship."

I know many of you think "The U" is an overly collagen-injected, crooked eyeballed, fake flapjack wanna be.

You are entitled to your opinion.

I think she's got a quality about her that's a bit enchanting. And I do realize all of her technical flaws, as mentioned above. I still don't care. The good photos of her are jaw dropping. Even the bad ones make me stop for a moment.

So without further adieu, here's a totally biased sample of the BEST and MOST FAMOUS Rachel Uchitel pics I could find on the ol' interwebs today.

Here's the pic you see most often. She's holding a velvet entrance rope at some high end party, but I always think it looks like she's holding a vacuum. Probably hasn't operated one of those in 12 years.

Here's the smokin' hot pic of her on the beach somewhere, with someone else (cropped out of pic, thank you.). Just phenomenal.

Here's the pic of her getting into that cab in NYC after the shit hit the plantation style porch fan back in Windemere. Those jeans are like spandex!

Here's one of her I've never seen before until today. GOLFING! Yowza! Musta been cold that day on the course. Ahem....

Here's one that I wish I could find in greater resolution. She's got some kind of Pocohontas thing happening there, and it works for me.

She's also got some cute puppies. Okay, fine.

And she takes them to the beach. All right then.

Looks great in tighty-whitey.

Still looking just as fab in black.

The U can bring it when she's just out for a winter stroll in the city.

And if she ever decides to start modeling again, she'll be able to crank out more gems like this.

So there you go kids! Not like you couldn't surf the web on company time yourself to find these pics. I just did it FOR YOU! And you can thank me later, or not at all. Because I do it as a labor of love.


  1. Per you poll: Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of the greatest shows on TV. If you're new, I'm glad you found it. If you've been watching it for 5 years like me, gather fans......let's try to keep it on. FX drops shows like crazy. By the way, I'm glad you're starting Sporting News Radio, I'll pay extra for 'The Best of Sirius" (I have XM) just to hear 'Small School Ass-Whippin's', 'Where You At, What You Haulin'', Thanksgiving vs. 4th of July, 'The Commish w/Lo-Def', etc, etc, etc. Welcome back Door(Deer) Killer, welcome back!!!

  2. Mississippi message bottle found:

    Czabe is again
    Hello, Czabe

  3. I just realized...Always Sunny is coming back on Comedy Central. Commercials, commercials, commercials. MTV stopped showing videos, Comedy Central just might stop showing comedy. WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN or CONGRESSWOMAN!!! Don't let this happen. We just got Futurama back.

  4. Thanks for the 'U' pictures, Czabe. That is totally a vacuum she is holding.

  5. Am I the only one who notices that every bikini picture of her has a clear view of her camel toe? Not complainin'...jus' sayin'...

  6. Sporting News Radio says August 30th is the start date...Is this true, Czabe?

  7. Thank you for labor of love Czabe. We can all appreciate the finer things in life...All I can say is, "Nice work".

  8. Is she the first $100 million lay?

  9. BTW, she's not looking too hot nowadays...her better days are behind her. She's jumped the Tiger, so to speak.


  10. @ Nolan: Love IASIP! I actually refused to watch it at one time because it had "Philadelphia" in the title. I hate Philly sports fans. I am glad I went against my prejudices and watched it.

  11. Now that you've given us The U, you need to give us some of Elin, who will proudly be back on the market!

  12. Elin is smokin' hot. The "U" is just skankin' hot.