Adventure, Excellent

Had a sensational trip to Wisconsin this weekend. I might even add, I brought some great karma! Brandon Jennings for 55 on Saturday night. Then Packers (virtually) shut out the hated 'Pokes on Sunday.

All that, plus I got to meet a lot of seriously obsessive former Boy Scouts at Milwaukee Harley and their 1st annual "Adult Pinewood Derby." (Photos/Czabecast coming on that front).

Thank you to my man Jim Reichart at Midwest Airlines, for getting me safely and efficiently from Washington to town. Thanks to Bob Madden and his lovely wife Deb for letting me crash at the bungalow. Thanks to the Lynch Boys (all three!) for letting me come on the party-RV up to Lambeau. Thanks to Greg "The Grinder" from Palermo's Pizza for the awesome courtside seats at the Bradley Center.

And thanks to everyone who came up and said hello along the way, making me feel like an adopted son of Milwaukee.

Now... on to the photos.

As you can see with the above picture, I proudly displayed the ONE sign of support for Ted Thompson in the entire state on Sunday. My boy Eric Gitter (head pro at Currie Park, please play a round, and tip him generously... ding ding!) is standing next to me. The guy who looks back must think I'm nuts!

I also held the sign aloft on the steps of Lambeau, a veritable sacriledge. Sorry. Luckily I was not stoned and pelted with rocks and garbage.

The day was not without its horrors, however. Here, a woman spilled a full beer. She was given a fresh one. Outrage. I took a moment to grieve.

Here, I take a moment to tell a nice Cowboy fan from Iowa, that he sucks. And Romo's a homo. Have a nice game.

Me and the great one, Vincent Thomas Lombardi.

Finally, me rubbing it in to Bob and Brian, those hand-wringing nellies on Monday morning at 102.9 The Hog.

"Lawn Ornament Fight, Lost"

This might qualify as story of the year....

A love-struck buck ran out of luck a week ago. The seven-point buck was killed when it rammed a 640-pound concrete statue of an elk in the backyard of Mark and Carol Brye's home in rural Viroqua.

Bucks often fight during the breeding season, commonly called the rut. Dominant bucks defend breeding territories and female deer by sparring with subordinate bucks. Antler battles sometimes result in the death of one or both deer, but usually end with the biggest buck winning and the smaller buck high-tailing it out to another area....

MORE....

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And here's your depressing Redskin photo of the week!



Oh wait, one more.



I have total confidence in this administration. I really do!

(**throws up in mouth**)

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The NFL season embarks on the "official" second half (even though two teams, Texans and Giants, have played 9 games already) and there are several records in the crosshairs.

Peyton Manning is on pace to clip Dan Marino's single season yard mark by 6 yards (5,090). Last year, Brees had multiple shots at this mark, but a few drops late, and a series where they ran the ball, prevented it.

Dallas Clark (not coincidentally) is on pace to shatter Kellen Winslow Sr's TE yardage mark of 1,290 (pace = 1,406). A mark that has lasted 29 years.

Darren Sharper has 7 INTs for New Orleans and 3 pick-sixes. He could break Night Train Lane's record of 14 INTs in 12 games in 1952 (where it was legal to leg whip, clothesline, AND shove receivers right up until the instant the ball arrived) as well as the record for DFT's (3 players have 4 on the season).

And Eric Mangini has a chance to break the record for most blatant lies in a season by a head coach, the most recent one being that he had no idea Brady Quinn has a massive bonus clause in his deal for next season based on 70% of snaps played. Uhhh huh.

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Okay, I post these only because people keep asking. And lest I be accused of shilling for a product that I do not actually use, or does not work, let this set the record straight.

Here are my 60 day progress pics for the P90x exercise routine. Personally, I still think I'm fat and weak, so this is nothing. I plan to have much more impressive pics on Day 120, when I cycle through the program a second time.








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Jimmy Masterlock Week 10

Last Week: 4-0! BITCHES!

Denver -3.5 at Washington
New England +2.5 at Indy
Cincinnati +7.5 at Pittsburgh
BARKING DOG: Seattle +8 at Arizona

Planetary Death By 300 Million Titleists

Three hundred million golf balls are lost every year, or so they say. Me, I swear I don't have any more than 178 which are un-accounted for from this past calendar year, so don't look at me!

Research teams at the Danish Golf Union have discovered it takes between 100 to 1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose naturally. A startling fact when it is also estimated 300 million balls are lost or discarded in the United States alone, every year. It seems the simple plastic golf ball is increasingly becoming a major litter problem.

The scale of the dilemma was underlined recently in Scotland, where scientists -- who scoured the watery depths in a submarine hoping to discover evidence of the prehistoric Loch Ness monster -- were surprised to find hundreds of thousands of golf balls lining the bed of the loch.

It is thought tourists and locals have used the loch as an alternative driving range for many years. The footage shot by underwater robotics team SeaTrepid, can be seen below.

With an increasing number of golf balls discarded each year, the Danish Golf Association devised a number of tests to determine the environmental impact of golf balls on their surroundings.

COMMENT: Reader Rich Morrical asks: This might be a dumb quetion but if the millions of golf balls being lost every year are not bio degrading, than aren't they just like rocks? Are they really hurting the environment?

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Manlaw #176: More Power is Always Better. Always.

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I have good news, and bad news for the fine citizens of River Creek in Northern Virginia. Good news: Greg Blache was NOT the dumbell wielding “psycho” that challenged a dog walker to a fight as my email “source” implied here on Friday.

My apologies to Coach for the bad intel, although I sort of had admiration for an ornery ol' coach if that story was true.

The bad news: there apparently IS a guy who power walks with dumb-bells in River Creek and he IS a psycho. Give him wide berth. He's just not a Redskins coach.

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John Witzke is on Billick Brian's ass. Good work...

Czabe,

Our favorite EXPERT color analyst referred to Dwayne Jarrett as "Jarrett Smith" *twice* today, and that was just while under Redzone Channel surveillance. Who knows how many times he did it all together.

Which makes me wonder at what point do we start tracking the buffoonery of the White Gumbel?

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Peter King can't resist talking about the Fort Hood shootings. As usual, his take is one dimensional, illogical, and purely liberal at heart.

My heart goes out to the victims of the Fort Hood and Orlando shootings and their loved ones. Senseless, senseless incidents. I will not go quietly into the night on this one. America needs to do something about idiots with handguns. How many more Fort Hoods and Orlandos do there have to be before our political leaders have the guts to severely restrict access to murderous weapons?

National Review Online comments: “Good point. An Army base is no place for weapons.” And, to add insult to injury, we know what the Associated Press reported, here: “Packed into cubicles with 5-foot-high dividers, the 300 unarmed soldiers were sitting ducks.”

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While we are pissing off liberals..... John Hinderaker at Powerlineblog makes a great point about self described "Democrats" vs. self described "liberals." Writes Hinderaker...

The basic asymmetry of American politics is that there are more conservatives than there are Republicans, while there are more Democrats than there are liberals. This is why Nancy Pelosi wasn't able to persuade anything like a unified caucus to vote for her government takeover of health care, and why Democratic Congressmen were competing for permission to vote against the bill.

Why is it, though, that while conservatives outnumber liberals by anywhere from one and a half to two to one, depending on the poll, there are significantly more Democrats than Republicans? There are a number of answers, but one of them is that conservatives, as a group, are insufficiently loyal to the Republican Party.

Back in our far-left days, we used to claim that there was no difference between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party. ("Don't play good imperialist/bad imperialist" was one mantra.) That was stupid. Today, there are some on the right who say there is little or no difference between the parties--you hear this, for example, from some in the tea party movement. This is equally stupid. There are important differences between the parties, and the most practical thing conservatives can do in the political realm is try to build up the Republican Party.

Of course the Republicans aren't perfect. Of course they spent too much money when they controlled Congress. But the history of the Republican Party is, on the whole, a proud one--far more so than that of the Democratic Party. This is a theme to which I intend to recur in the months to come.

In the meantime, let's leave it with this: we were often critical of President George W. Bush. When he left office, I gave him a B- grade overall. But President Bush would have vetoed Pelosicare. This is the stark difference between our political parties: the Democrats are hell-bent on dismantling free enterprise and advancing government power over every aspect of our lives; the Republicans are not.

Conservatives cannot afford to be neutral or indifferent as between the parties, nor can they afford the narcissism of third-party vanity campaigns. Conservatives must work every day to strengthen the Republican Party--it's the only hope we have. And, yes, strengthening the party will sometimes mean drawing the line at a Dede Scozzafava. But purity is not our object here; victory is.

REACT: On this I agree. Voting Republican is an imperfect, but necessary act. And like any sports team you root for, they disappoint nearly as often as they play to their full capability. As for "democrats" who are conservative, I know many of them. It drives me nuts. They live their lives, conservatively. They believe in conservative priciples.

But because they have been browbeaten by friends, family, and social circles to be good "democrats" they simply cannot come to grips with where their true political ideology lies. Thus, they usually pick one or two supposedly "deal breaking" aspects of a broader Republican platform (abortion, gun control, e.g.) and use that as their excuse to vote the other way.

"Rooting For Isaiah?" WTF!

I must confess, I did not hear the actual conversation between Wilbon and Kornheiser on PTI, but the on-screen headline stopped me in my tracks.

“Rooting For Isaiah?”

Of course, this was a discussion keyed off of Isaiah Thomas and his D-1 coaching debut for Florida International.

I'm sorry. “Rooting” for him?

Are you fucking crazy?

Let's root for penis cancer while we're at it?

What is it, exactly, about this smiling charlatan Isaiah, which makes such a discussion even possible? Root for him? Fuck him.

Isaiah Thomas is a certified shitbag. He's a lying, salary stealing, convicted sexual harasser. He's a bully, a fraud, a team wrecker, and a downright bad person.

There is nobody, repeat NOBODY, who publicly calls themselves his friend.

And yet.....

PTI somehow trotted out the question. Perhaps I should go back and listen to the conversation. But even if I did, I don't think it matters.

The answer, is a loud, unequivocal NO! You can't root for him. Not in any way. He's a walking lottery winner to even have this job. And who cares how little it pays, or how he agreed to give back much of that salary thanks to his robbery of the Knicks.

Personally, I am rooting for Isaiah Thomas to go 0-32 this year, get ejected from a dozen or more games, and to land Florida International on 10 year NCAA probation.

Seriously. Fuck him. Please stop putting him and his garbage basketball team on TV because it is somehow a “story.” This is the biggest dead-end, non-story, since Greg Paulus decided to play QB for Syracuse after a mediocre point guard career at Duke.

How's that media fascination going these days? Uh huh.

Okay. Rant over.

Let's Figure Out How We Can Lose This Game!

Great to see a coach of a football team, have some BALLS with the line on the game. Paul Johnson of Georgia Tech, is in a overtime struggle with Wake. Down 3 points in OT, he's got 4th and 1 at the 4 yard line. He could easily kick a chippy FG and then keep playing in OT.

Nah! Let's go for it.

Jackets convert – despite being 0-3 prior to that on 4th down in the game! - and go on to punch it in the end zone a few plays later for the win.

Huzzah, huzzah, Coach Johnson! If only more coaches had your attitude.

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On the flip side, I don't know exactly how the NY Giants fell apart against the Chargers. The game was burning away on one of my “wing” TV's in the 5-Hour energy dome and I wasn't paying much attention.

Suddenly, the Chargers have a shot at the end zone with 20 seconds left, and sure enough, they stick the dagger in!

Rewind to the key play. On 1st and goal at the 4, up by 3 points, with 3 minutes and change left, Chris Snee gets called for a hold. The Giants then throw to the flat to Hakeen Nicks for no gain on 1st and goal from the 14. Predictably, they run safe Brandon Jacobs draws on 2nd and 3rd down from the shotgun formation.

Field goal. 20-14.

So what's the big deal? Being up 6 is better than 3, right?

Most of the time, actually, no. As I like to say: if only a touchdown can beat you, then it WILL be a touchdown that beats you.

Predictably, the Chargers were able to operate smoothly in the 2 minute drill, and move quickly into Giants territory. Why? Well, of course. “Only a touchdown can beat us.”

And so it was.

Had the Giants thrown boldly into the endzone in attempt to score, even an INT wouldn't have been that bad. The Chargers would have then only needed a FG to tie, and thus, the Giants D would have played furiously to keep them out of FG range.

I would have liked their chances very much to succeed.

Also, if the Chargers had moved into FG range, their own aggressiveness to score the game winning TD would have been blunted, likely resulting in a field goal attempt (hell, it's Norv we're talking about!) which may well have missed. Worst case, you end up in OT, not losers.

But.... this won't be the last time you see this game ending dynamic in the NFL. Some things seem to never change...

Put On Your Zorn Face, Skins Fans

“Look, we lost the game today. I GET that.”

- Jim Zorn, pumping the breaks on his selective post game enthusiasm over what went “right” in the Skins 31-17 loss to the Falcons.

Okay then, that's a start. He does “get it” that losing is bad. We can build from here.

But there's a ton of work still left.

Where to start?

Well, let's start with Zorn. Is it me, or does watching him on the sidelines make you cringe? I mean, I have never, ever, ever, seen an NFL coach who has been so thoroughly drained of “coaching life force” like this.

Sure, I've seen awful coaches, who were almost CERTAIN that they were soon to be fired.

But they still stalked the sidelines, ranting, raving, tilting at imaginary windmills and yelling at the refs on occasion.

Zorn? It's surreal. Nothing.

In fact, he has what I am simply going to call from now on: “Zorn Face.”

Zorn Face: adj. - A facial expression of false interest, concern, or thoughtfulness. Usually highlighted by a steadily furrowed forehead. Used to conceal the fact that you really don't give a crap either way, since you get paid the same just to stand there.

(Example: “You know, Bill, that all-staff meeting on email etiquette was a real waste of time. Still, I just put on my “Zorn Face” and made it look like I was totally engaged.”)

That said, there's only three things I see wrong with this team.

1.They aren't that talented.
2.They don't play very hard.
3.They have poor or non-existent coaching.

Other than that.....

Has anybody else noticed that the guys who keep saying “we've got talent here...” are the guys with the biggest contracts? Haynesworth, Portis, Hall...

Zorn told Sonny on the post-game show that he was “impressed” with how his defense “popped” Michael Turner a few times. Sonny, non-plussed, then said: “Yeah coach, but 168 yards....” Parried Zorn: “But most of that was just on two runs....” Right. Let me say it one more time: THOSE YARDS GET CHARGED TO YOUR ROOM TOO, UPON CHECK OUT!

Is the running attack better – at this point – without Clinton Portis? Well, duh, yeah. But only marginally. Betts gives a quicker chop-chop with his legs through the hole, but he's only a slight upgrade over CP. Plus, just look at the line...

Speaking of..... how great is it (insert sarcasm before “great”) that our line now includes... Mike Williams (plucked off Derrick Dockery's couch at 410 pounds with 2 years of rust), Will Montgomery (who is only playing because 3rd round pick Chad Reinhardt is a total bust), and former Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings and Edmonton Eskimo D'Anthony Batiste. Fun times!

PS: Center Casey Rabach can't play anymore. Pssst. Keep it quiet. We've got 8 games left still.

This great defense we have, once again failed to produce a score. The last DFT for the Skins came in 2007! For perspective, consider this: the Saints have 5 pick six's this year alone! You would need to go back to the Lavar Arrington pick-six against Carolina that turned around the one Marty year to cover the last 6 skins pick-sixes.

Albert Haynesworth came off the bye week and promptly committed an off-sides penalty. Added another one when Matt Ryan all but shouted out: “Let's make the fat kid jump!” Fabulous.

People say this team is “un-disciplined.” Well, yeah. No players ever get ripped by the coaches. No players ever get benched by the coaches. No players ever get cut from the team. (Okay, they benched Horton, and cut Mason. Otherwise, have fun boys!)

The first snagged fabric of the Magicolor Dreamcoat that is the “Bingo Lewis” Offensive Play-Calling Relay Team has appeared. Near the goal line, you could see Zorn mouth the words “I wanted to throw” when they ran. Later, they called timeout on 4th and 1 inch (waste) and threw un-successfully to Mike Sellers. When asked, Zorn said: “Stump Mitchell designed the play, Sherm Lewis called it. And I made the decision to go for it.” With costume credit to Angela Silverstein, script enhancement by Bert Rossman..... They showed Zorn on the sidelines right after that. Zorn Face. I really wanted him to sheepishly point his finger up in the air. Psst. Sherm's call. Not me.

How is DeAngelo Hall working out for Redskins fans? Uh huh. Not like I didn't try to warn everybody. Aside from his crap tackling, he's really not shutting guys down either. His team-hi three picks included two pop-ups off deflections.

LaRon Landry is regressing. That is sad. He was one of my favorite players. I think back to how insanely devastating he and Sean Taylor were together. He seems lost now. One caller said on the post-game show, that ever since the opening night trucking he took from Brandon Jacobs in 2008, Landry hasn't been the same. Hmm. Interesting theory.

The fake coaching, and weekly mini-dramas begin continue with Denver coming to town Sunday. Should be fun.

Greg Blache Will Whip Your Ass!

For those that don't know, the pieces of the Redskins keep flying apart like Skylab coming back to earth. The latest is Hall of Famer John Riggins calling Snyder a fundamentally "bad guy" and someone with a "dark heart."

Riggo, for all his rugged charm, may be right. I don't know Snyder. Yet I think "dark heart" is a bit much.

Riggo himself admits he has an axe to grind. He was formerly the most overpaid radio host in the DC market. "Stolen" away from us at Sportstalk 980 by the upstart Snyder Radio Regime, I had heard Riggo was making nearly $1 million a year.

He was given his own afternoon radio show, opposite me and Andy on The Sports Reporters.

In a word, fail.

Riggo was engaging and nutty when he was with Andy and I for 2 hours a week, back in the day. Riggo bloviating and rambling on his own was death by a thousand radio cuts.

When Sportstalk 980 was purchased by Snyder's Red Zebra in July of 2008, they had to make a choice: us or Riggo. It wasn't a hard one.

So Riggo got paid for the last 6 months of his contract to just go away, while we went on about our business on The Reporters. I don't have any hard feelings toward Riggo - no axe to grind, like he admits - but he's more than just a little delusional about his own radio talent.

He is also no doubt frustrated by now being mostly shut-out of relevant commentary on all things Redskins. Brian Mitchell has a prominent perch on Comcast's post-game show. Doc Walker still does mid-days on ESPN980 here, Joe Theismann is doing more with the station and elsewhere, and Sonny still rules gameday on the radio broadcast.

So what's Riggo to do?

Film al-Qaeda like videos from the woods near his home, lobbing one more incendiary diatribe after another.

Sad, really.

It did get him enough traction, however, along with his HOF status, to appear on Inside the NFL.

So that gets you up to speed on Riggo. He's a guy desperate to revive a failing football media career, and admittedly bitter about the way he was bum rushed out of here. Okay, fine.

As for Blache, I only thought one thing when he spoke up in defense of Prince Dan: "Dude, you're still here?"

This is the guy who decided a single, simple media session once a week to discuss defensive football matters on this team was too much. So he passed the buck to Jerry Gray.

Oh, NOW he's talking? That is rich!

Well, turns out, that was hardly the most scintillating piece of Greg Blache "news" to come across my desk this week.

TO: Czabe
FROM: Name Withheld
RE: Skins D-Coordinator, Greg Blache

I know that you probably receive e-mails similar to this one, all of the time, but I can assure you that this happened. One of the guys that I work with lives in River Creek (nice golf course!). He has a circle of friends that he plays golf with there. He received the following e-mail from one of these friends last night. I kept their names off to protect their privacy.

"Dudes? Does Greg Blache live in River Creek? If so, I think I ran into him literally today, I think, this am, while walking my dog, He was power walking with 25 # dumbbells in his hands, and he literally bumped me off the sidewalk, I turned around and said ‘what was that’? He then told me to fuck off, to which I replied ‘you fuck off’. He then told me to go lose the dog, and he would ,and I quote, “fuck me up”, I was literally shocked. I then said I will lose the dog, but he had to lose the weights. He then threw them on the ground and said ‘lets go’ and threw some other threats at me.

I ,being prudent, told him he was a fucking psycho with anger management issues, but that I would go drop off the dog. Now the dog had yet to drop his load, so I had to get that out of the way first. When I got back to the house, I looked out the window, and that psycho was still standing at the stop sign on Olympic waiting for me to come back and duel.

First, I am generally not one to run from a fight, but he is a big mf, clearly with a bad temper. He runs a good 240+. The stress of losing must be eating him alive. I may have to engage counsel and call the police. This guy is seriously whacked. I will now hate the redskins forever!

PS: I googled him. That grumpy psychotic MF does live in River Creek". I guess the Redskins' problems go deeper than we all think..


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Jimmy Masterlock Week 9

Dallas +3 at Philly
Miami +10.5 at New England
Cincinnati +3 vs. Baltimore
BARKING DOG: Houston +9 at Indianapolis

Sun Set Long Ago on World Series Tradition

Here, see this picture of the sun?

Well, ol' shiny hasn't seen the World Series with its own eyes since 1984! Can you believe it!

At least this season, Fox scooched up the start times.

The New York Yankees and Philadelphia Phillies will open the Series tonight at 7:57 p.m. EDT — about 30 minutes earlier than usual — and will end each game when most children, at least those living on the East Coast, are sleeping.

Rather than catering to kids, Major League Baseball and Fox are shooting for the highest ratings they can get to help sell the commercials that pay the bills.

“World Series games, for more than 20 years, have been played at a time when the greatest number of fans can watch, from coast to coast,” Fox Sports president Ed Goren said in a released statement. “This year, we worked with MLB to move postseason start times 30 to 40 minutes earlier, and we would be very willing to consider televising World Series games played during the day if the fee to acquire those rights reflected the smaller audiences that day games would naturally produce.”

When Goren’s comments were relayed, Selig wouldn’t close the door on lowering rights.

REACT: A major sports commissioner, willingly taking LESS money for almighty television, would be something to behold. Of course, I don't see it actually happening. But the thought is intriquing.

Forget "the kids" as an argument for making World Series games start at a better hour. It really should be about us. The adults! You know, people who work for a living!

Truth be told, kids aren't going to be jostling in front of the ol' wooden fence knothole on their walk home from school. That Norman Rockwell painting isn't real. Kids are buried in their iPhones, XBox's, and the like.

So forget the kids. Just move the start of World Series games up to 7:25 latest in the east. That would be perfect! If you can trim the length of post-season games down about 10 minutes, then the (hopefully) thrilling conclusions would happen at 10:45 or so in the east.

Day games? Eh. I'm not as romantic about that as Selig. Especially if that game has to fight tooth and nail with football.

But imagine a restaurant that only opened at 8:30, not 7 p.m. While maybe you can attract diners with more money at that late hour, how are you going to grow the overall number of people who might eat there on a regular basis?

That, and maybe we need to give each manager a booklet with only 3 "vouchers" for "mount visits" each game. When you are out, you are out. Period.

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Totally random side note. While google-image-searching for this lovely sun picture, I came across this blog thread. It is a flight sim nerd's screen-capped account of a computer flight from Beijing to Seoul.

Whooo. Hah. Exciting stuff. Just look at all that intense computer game action!

It rained on the landing in Seoul! Incredible!

But hey, I'm a nerd in my own right (see Ryder Cup, President's Cup, and Solheim Cup obsessions in golf) so I sorta dig the fact that there's a group of wanna be commercial aviation jocks out there pouring hours into their Pentium III's flying Chinese 737s.

Whatever stiffens your joystick.

"Nobody's Going To Complain..."

Lest anybody think I would miss the Tim Donaghy book story, rest easy.

With a quick pause in the World Series, let me loop back to the news of last week that was akin to Christmas for all of us David Stern haters.

The disgraced former NBA ref has penned a book from prison. And …. it... is.... awesome!

Heheheheheheh!

The original publisher got cold feet, and pulled the project. Thankfully, somebody with a rough copy got a very salacious chunk of it to the boys at Deadspin.com. Allegedly, several other publishing houses are in negotiations to pick up the book and run with it.

You can read the devastating chapter-and-verse of NBA refereeing shennanigans here. Don't believe him? He's a crook? What about his credibility?

Please.

Just because a guy is a gambling degenerate scumbag, doesn't make him a liar. Besides, the roid dealing creeps who took Pete Rose's gambling action on baseball, were scumbags.

They also told the truth about Rose.

Even if only 20% of what Donaghy says is true, it's a devastating enough barrage to cripple the league's credibility. Not until David Stern has slipped into a wealthy retirement, and many of the high profile crony refs we all know by name – Bavetta, Javie, Delaney, Crawford et al. - hang it up, will we ever feel like the league has returned to being roughly on the up-and-up.

People always called me a “conspiracy theorist” on the NBA. Not true. I never claimed conspiracy. You didn't need one.

The NBA simply “massaged” outcomes, and manufactured excitement any way they could. The refs caught on, that calling “rules” and “fouls” when they were not needed, wasn't going to get them in the good graces of the league brass.

This is exactly what gave rise to guy like Dick Bavetta. He was, and is, a professional brown-noser. He knew what made the bosses happy, and went about helping make it happen. There were no grand conspiracies needed. No memos, no meetings. No guys in trenchcoats waiting outside the arena.

Here's the key exerpt on this point from Donaghy...

In the pregame meeting prior to Game 6, the league office sent down word that certain calls-calls that would have benefitted the Lakers — were being missed by the referees. This was the type of not-so-subtle information that I and other referees were left to interpret. After receiving the dispatch, Bavetta openly talked about the fact that the league wanted a Game 7.

"If we give the benefit of the calls to the team that's down in the series, nobody's going to complain. The series will be even at three apiece, and then the better team can win Game 7," Bavetta stated.

As history shows, Sacramento lost Game 6 in a wild come-from-behind thriller that saw the Lakers repeatedly sent to the foul line by the referees. For other NBA referees watching the game on television, it was a shameful performance by Bavetta's crew, one of the most poorly officiated games of all time.

Well. Duh.

We watched the game. We saw it. But it's nice to see it in black and white. Finally. There it is.

“Nobody is going to complain...” Exactly. Except the fans whose team (usually small market) gets screwed.

Bavetta's crew that night should have been suspended, if not fired. It was such a travesty, it did not pass the smell test on any level.

But it gave the league another game (more product!), controversy, hype, and ratings. Win, win, win.

If this game was an isolated outlier, that would be one thing. But you combine it with the fact that Jordan almost never fouled out of a game despite playing pit bull like defense, the Sixers over the Bucks in the Eastern Finals in 2001, the frothing at the mouth Mark Cuban tirade as Stern left the court in Miami, Cuban's repeatedly fined crusade for more officiating research, improvement and transparency, and on and on and on....

It is a shame. The NBA has super-freak athletes. The game could – and should – be so much more at that level. But the instinct of Stern to be a marketer first, league commissioner second, has stained the league. It won't go away, until he finally does.
There's a reason why the NBA used to pull 17-18-19 ratings for the Finals, where now, even a Lakers v. Celtics “dream matchup” with stars-a-plenty, wheezes to crack a 10 share.

Casual fans may enjoy the sizzle, but genuine sports fans don't take the league at face value. And too many fan bases of lesser markets, now never feel they will get an honest chance if the stars align to deliver them a championship caliber team.
Tim Donaghy is, according to the court of law, a convicted felon.
To me, he's a hero. May his full story in the league, yet be told.

Penalties? Pfffffttttt... Big Deal, Sez Cupcake Wade

Cowboy correspondent Mike McGowan sends this angry dispatch via email this week...

This is my coach. Cowboy fans are in good hands with him at the helm. Godspeed, Wade Phillips, Godspeed.

From Cowboys website:

People always want to blame Wade Phillips for not being a taskmaster as relates to team discipline, particularly with penalties. Well, the reality is Phillips isn't completely sure penalties are the deciding factor between good teams and bad teams.

"To me, I've never seen one," Phillips said. "There's no direct correlation between the teams that are penalized and the teams that win and lose. There's no direct correlation there. The more mistakes you make I think it hurts you, certainly. The pre-snap penalties are the ones that bother me. We work at the other ones, obviously, not holding, doing all those things. But pre-snap you can do a lot about, I believe. And we haven't done enough on those, so we're going to keep working on those."

Denver game. Romo makes key pass for a first down at mid-field. Penalty takes it off the board and puts them at third and twelve from their own 20 (or so). Next play, Romo sacked, fumble, recovered by Broncos. Next play, Broncos score TD. Broncos go on to win by seven.

But Cupcake says penalties don't impact games.

I think I told both of you this, but if not: I was ranting to my girl Janice about what a buffoon Philips is (I'm sure that was a pleasurable conversation for Janice), and she asks me, "Is Philips the worst coach in the entire NFL?" I started to respond with an emphatic "yes," ready to pile on with more bashing, but I stopped myself. I replied, "No, he's the second worst coach in the NFL."

I'll let you two draw your conclusions from there.

MY TWO CENTS: You are correct, Mike. Zorn WAS the worst coach in the league, but now that he's only "fake coaching" with a plastic steering wheel next to Sherm Lewis, I would say Eric Mangini has surpassed him.

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Let it be known: if you try out for America's Got Talent, then David Hassellhoff and his lawyers HAVE YOU BY THE BALLS!

Decked out in sequined black and gold dresses, Anne Harrison and the other women in her Bulgarian folk-singing group were lined up to try out for NBC's "America's Got Talent" TV show when they noticed peculiar wording in the release papers they were asked to sign.

Any of their actions that day last February, the contract said, could be "edited, in all media, throughout the universe, in perpetuity."

Lawyers for years have added language to some contracts that stretches beyond the Earth's atmosphere. But more and more people are encountering such everywhere-and-forever language as entertainment companies tap into amateur talent and try to anticipate every possible future stream of revenue

.

But if you think that's bad, then how about this gem, forwarded to me by emailer John Dreiser.



Call that... an "Apocalypse Clause".

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For those who missed it, I spoke last Friday about how overboard the NFL's “Breast Cancer” sponsorship has gone. One week? Fine. No problems. A month? Get outta here. This stance, of course, was unpopular with some, because of course, I am actually PRO breast cancer. Right.

FROM: Jonathan French
RE: Breast Cancer "Awareness"

No doubt, Czabe is being hammered by emailers and callers for the breast cancer comments yesterday. Well, he was absolutely right! Tons of charitable resources are wasted on the expenses associated with putting on events like Race for the Cure. For every dollar donated, I would imagine that very little actually goes to research or helping those with breast cancer. On top of that, breast cancer, while horrible, has a very high survival rate, and almost always impacts adults who are at least capable of attempting to acquire and understand their treatment options. I wish professional sports and the public in general spent as much time raising funds for research into cures for terminal illnesses for kids, like childhood lymphoma. Facilities that provide treatment for children with potentially terminal illnesses pro bono are much more worthy causes. Forget the ta-ta's, save the kids!

REACT: While I don't know the actual dollar return rate on events like Race For the Cure, I concur with the rest of his points. Skin cancer has a similarly high survival rate. But how many special months do we have for that?

Furthermore, I have a hard time thinking that cancer research (of all stripes) is under-funded. I gotta believe major foundations, universities, government programs and such, all support “research” in spades.

Awareness is a different story. I would respect the NFL a lot more, if once a year, they made us all “aware” of a public health issue that maybe – wait for it.... - we are ACTUALLY NOT VERY AWARE OF!

Rotate this “horrible-thing-you-don't-know-about” on a yearly basis. At this point, I am afraid some men think that breast cancer is the ONLY kind of cancer women ever get.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



On the political front, I don't understand the thinking of anybody who looks at a 1,990 page deathtrap of government health care regulation and says: “You know, THAT is going to make my life, better.”

But, sadly, some do.

I had the following (paraphrased) conversation with an earnest suburban Maryland liberal housemommy. When I asked her if she REALLY thought Obama's health care reform was a good idea that would actually work, she said: “It may not be perfect, but if it helps some people get insurance they can't afford, then I'm all in favor of it.”

My follow up efforts asking her about unforeseen complications, failed assumptions, runaway costs, end runs on the new system, fraud, and all the other inevitable horrors of this statist manifesto... well, they fell on deaf ears.



She was stuck. Stuck on the glow of a warm, fuzzy, good intention.

Facts, logic, or past history of such attempts were simply no match.

These things can lead freedom loving, rational people to despair. If you have no chance to sway folks of this mindset, then what will prevent them from blissfully voting away our freedoms one-by-one, with each new warm and fuzzy idea that comes along?

The unemployment rate shows no signs of abating, despite the genius idea of just printing ourselves some money for new “jobs” back in February. I squealed like a stuck pig in this (mostly sports) blog back then, for no other reason that I felt I just had to speak out.

Holy shit, what a waste of money!

Some of you, said I was wrong. Well....

The numbers are coming in, and they ain't pretty.

Chip Reid of CBS News took the O-ministration to the woodshed over the stimulus and its so-called “saved” jobs count.

At a small college in Georgia, $100,000 in stimulus funds paid for trucks for students to practice for commercial driver`s licenses. Another $100,000 went for a modular classroom. The school reported to the government that 280 jobs were created. In reality, not even close. That’s the number of students who benefited. It has nothing to do with jobs. In Cocoa, Florida, a childcare center reported 129 jobs created by a stimulus grant. In fact, no jobs were created. The money was really used to increase the compensation and benefits of 129 existing employees.

And on, and on, and on.....

If the stimulus was a good idea, then another one – even bigger – would be an even BETTER idea. Right? Well, I guess even that's too hard a sell for Democrats at this point.

Yet if I asked my suburban liberal democrat housemommy she might totally agree! Yes, let's keep trying HARDER to vote ourselves rich, and spend our way out of a recession!

The only way any of this gets turned around, is if small business starts feeling good about the political tides shifting enough to thwart Obama's socialist agenda. Right now, that sector is hunkered down in survival mode.

Hiring? Ha! If they hire somebody now, who knows if Obama will pass a law forbidding companies to fire anybody, for any reason in the near future.

I know several doctors who own their practice (small business) and several other entrepreneurs with a business and they could tell you exactly how worried they are that Obama's agenda on a variety of fronts will simply wipe them out.

They have told me.

But hey, don't believe me. Believe somebody else. Caroline Baum of Bloomberg.com paints a full picture of this liberal fantasy.

Actual hiring seems to be lagging behind the model’s land of make-believe. For small businesses, which are the source of most job creation in the U.S., the government’s increased and changing role in the economy isn’t a confidence builder. Businessmen have no idea what health-care reform will mean for their cost structure or what whimsical tax policies the government might impose when it realizes those short-term deficits are running into long-term unfunded liabilities. No wonder capital spending plans were at an all-time low in the third quarter, according to the NFIB monthly survey.

And so it goes. You don't come here to read about politics. I know that. I won't be changing any minds. I know that.

But I feel like I must at least get my voice on record. Its crap. Its depressing. I pray it all gets stopped. And just because I'm a “sports guy” doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on politics or business. Just like you, in whatever field you make a living in, are certainly entitled to speak up wherever and whenever you can.

I am just one voice. But perhaps it'll make you feel better to know that I feel the same was as you. There are many more voices like us out there, you just sometimes don't know it.

Now, back to sports and other stuff ....

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



I have been skeptical of fan "boycotts" and or "walkouts" to protest the Snyder Regime with the Redskins. Most of these things fail, miserably. But this idea.... well... it might just be crazy enough to work.

Flawed Execution, Indeed

This, my friends, is called a 99-yard bomb for a touchdown.

Well done, John Tayman. Keep it up.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The “Dilbert” Test

How do you know the Redskins are dysfunctional? Just go down several points from this un-related “Workplace Dysfunction” checklist.

Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face.
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough you should know already.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: When Vinny Cerrato claims that replacing Zorn as playcaller is really an attempt to give him the tools to help him succeed. Because they want him to succeed very much.


Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were.
Those huge salaries require some justification.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Gregg Williams. From “heir apparent” to “persona non-grata” because he supposedly “dissed” Joe Gibbs.

Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing.
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Like perhaps Zorn was discouraged from using an actual NFL agent to negotiate his head coaching contract?

Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening.
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Zorn said he was “strongly encouraged” to consider a change in play callers. The threats might not have been so “vague” if Steve Largent was correct about the “show him the contract” statement.

Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded.
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Sherm Smith gladly jumps in to the playcalling mix as Sherm Lewis' relay-man. Clinton Portis lobbies Zorn to replace Mike Sellers at FB.

Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible.
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Nobody doubts this. Only Snyder hides behind others on these decisions. At least Jerry Jones is out there taking credit or blame.

Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line.
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Zorn. Zorn. Zorn.

Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do.
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Albert Haynesworth allowed to take Monday off to go back to Tennessee to handle divorce issues.

Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.

REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Ring-a-ding-DING! Nothing describes the Snyder led Skins more accurately than this.

Monday Night Eyesore

Sorry America.

You should not have been forced to watch that.

It didn't help that the Eagles played like shit most of the night too.

But until the NFL starts letting both Sunday night and Monday night football “flex out” of games, these things are going to happen.

Bad news, good news though.

Bad: Skins vs. Giants on Monday Night Football AGAIN from FedEx on December 21.

Good: Skins vs. Cowboys on Sunday Night Football AGAIN from FedEx on December 27th.

THANK GOD FOR FLEX SCHEDULING! You can kiss that game's ass goodbye on NBC's list!

I watched the game at Andy Pollin's crib, so I could then zip 5 minutes back to the radio station at midnight, get 5 crappy hours on the oversized chair/ottoman in my office, and feel semi-human for my morning show. As such, we had fun doing the radio show we could never do on the air, sitting on his living room couch.

Andy was telling me during the game: “to be fair, the play calling HAS been better.” I said: “Compared to WHAT? We don't even know the plays!” He then said the offense “looked better.” I said “what about all the sacks?” That's part of the offense, too. What about the lack of a running game? Uh huh. Abysmal line play, is also part of “the offense.”

Which brings me to my gripe about the ESPN announcers playing excuse maker for the Skins “D.” I believe at one point, somebody said: “Aside from the big plays, the defense has been solid.” And as the old saying goes: “So Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that, how was the play?” I'm sorry to be a prick here, but I could consider a 69 yard end around for a touchdown in the 1st quarter when the D is most “fresh”..... BA D DEFENSE! I would also consider a 3rd and 24, pump and go TD on Carlos “Stone Hands” Rodgers, really fucking BAD DEFENSE!

Like hotel room service, EVERY play your defense gives up, ENDS UP ON YOUR BILL at the end of the night. Period.

Devin Thomas wore just one eye patch. This is what I call “Gangsta Gay.” You are sooo cool dude.

Ditto Chris Cooley and his dyed hair. Yeah, Monday Night football! Let's all desperately grab for attention!

I've had enough of Gruden. At one point, he said DeAngelo Hall had really “stepped up his game” to be a much better “all around” football player. Yep. Sure has. Another time, Gruden gushed about how Haynesworth was playing hard deep into the 2nd half, with the team down by 17 points. Made it sound loosely heroic. Gruden failed to mention that for Al's outrageous contract, that should be the norm. He also failed to mention Al missed much of the 3rd quarter with another ouchie to his leg.

You would think – THINK – that after Randle El took one of the facemask Deion-Style, that it would FINALLY end the long, pointless run of #82 returning punts. It did. For a few punts. Then he was back. This defies explanation. I officially give up. Just let him return everything. What do I care?

Can somebody please call Joe Gibbs. Ask him: “Um, what do we do now with the QB you got for us on an impulse purchase when you were supposed to just look at Carlos Rodgers? Because we're pretty much at the end of the road here with the guy. He's a backup.”

But hey, it was worth a 1st rounder, a 3rd and a 5th for him. Especially when he sat for a year and a half behind your limp-noodled, church-pew buddy Mark Brunell.

I can't wait to hear Vinny Cerrato claim that with a 17 point outburst (ignore that garbage TD, folks) his decision to go with Sherm Lewis has been vindicated. Watch for it. It is coming.

Did Jim Zorn look like a lost, wet dog on the sideline, or what? He was bearing down on that playsheet, making notes. Not that the Sherms will actually listen to what those notes are during the bye week. “Look here, flat-top. We're in charge now!”

At one point, Ron Jawarski said he was surprised at how watching Saturday practice the Skins showed little energy, or “sense of urgency.” Jaws sounded surprised. This is the first time I ever thought to myself: “Jaws... is an IDIOT!” I mean, I love the guy, and he really knows quarterbacking and X's and O's... but honestly. This was a surprise? On what level, exactly?

Zorn has 9 more games to “fake coach” on the sideline, and tiptoe around saying something that will void his contract during the week. Gonna be a long finish, folks.

The Following Occurred To Me While Watching the NFL on Sunday...

Idle thoughts by me, watching Red Zone Channel with my boyee Andrew Siciliano on the 102” main screen, and then the following games on my flanking twin Vizio 60” plasmas:

Right Screen
“A” (primary) Game: Packers at Browns
“B” (“Last channel” alternate) Game: Chargers at Chiefs

Left Screen
“A” (primary) Game: Vikings at Packers
“B” (“Last channel” alternate) Game: 49ers at Texans

So here we go...

Mike Singletary is wearing a stopwatch and a huge wooden Jesus cross around his neck. Doesn't the NFL prohibit outside the shirt jewelery and such? Besides, what is he, Catholic? Hey kids, looks like communion is running 1:43:12 too long. Let's bolt!

UPDATE: Dammit! Sports By Brooks already beat me to this one, with a much better “Singletary Trusts in Jesus, Accusplit Timing.”

Mario Williams makes a big play. How come we don't absolve Charlie Casserly for making the right call on him vs. both Reggie Bush AND Vince Young? Sorry for doubting, Chuck. Could you please come back to the Redskins?

Colts rookie Donald Brown explodes for a big gain against the woeful Rams. Donald Driver does the same on a long TD pass and run against the pathetic Browns. Later in the day, I would watch Miles Austin cross and burst for a big TD early against the Falcons. Lesson here? Simple. If you are an offensive player in the NFL, you are either EXPLOSIVE or you are not. It's that basic. The Redskins have no explosive offensive players. Portis was, like, 5 years ago. Santana Moss is explosive only in a straight downfield capacity. Everyone else? Eh.

Speaking of not explosive, it's now comical how impotent Ladanian Tomlinson now is near the goal line. Remember when he was bitching about Sproles getting it down there, instead of him? Uh huh. Norv fed LT 4 consecutive times inside the 3, as they were comfortably ahead. Quadruple-fail. Sad.

I understand Arrowhead is an aging building currently undergoing an expensive re-vamp. I noticed their replay screen is a big, nice, shiny, widescreen hi-def sucker. Dan Snyder's stadium is much newer than Arrowhead. It has a shrimpy 4x3 analog. Yeah. I'm sure he's working on that upgrade as we speak. Right.

Ooooh! Look at that! Random Packers TE makes big run and catch for a TD! Who was ol' #41? Spencer Havner? Who the.... Former UCLA LINEBACKER!? For Redskins fans who have watched alleged TE "stud", Mackey Award winner, and 2nd round pick Fred Davis do absolutely nothing, this is quite infuriating.

Speaking of #41, is that not the most RANDOM and under-used numbers in NFL history? I am having a hard time thinking of anybody of note who wore #41. Oh, thank god for the internet! Lookie here! Website! Charlie Waters, Eugene Robinson, and Terrance Newman!

Stat Alert: The Patriots had an 80-0 “run” ended when Tampa lucked into their only TD on a long pass. It's the longest “run” spanning multiple games since the '85 Bears.

More Redskins Bitching: Sorry, but I need to get this off my mind. So the Rams, Bucs, and Chiefs have all played the Redskins. We caught all of these teams AT HOME, too. So, lets see. We scored 9, 16, and 6 against them. At the half, the Colts, Patriots, and Chargers led those scab teams on Sunday by a combined 62-10. ON THE ROAD! The Redskins were SHUT-OUT at halftime by both the Bucs and Chiefs. These three awful teams allowed an AVERAGE of 38 points Sunday. We averaged 10 against them. This is NOT because Jim Zorn's play calling is sub-par. This is because your team is no good, your scheme is crap, and your players are either old, overpaid, or untalented. Or all three. Vinny Cerrato, you suck. Okay. I feel better now.

These London games are a total waste. Roger Goodell says there could be a franchise in London in less than 10 years. Sure there could. And I could learn to dunk on a 10 foot rim if I just keep going with P90x. Uh huh. I would love to know what percentage of the crowd at Wembly are UK natives? I'll bet anybody, that the crowd is 50% Americans working over there, if not more. But hey, maybe we WILL someday see the London Jaguars. Here's a nutty idea. There are plenty of AMERICAN cities of decent size, with college stadiums, that would love to have a real NFL game once in a while. Charity should begin at home.

Oh, look up in the sky! DirecTV has enough money for a fucking blimp. But won't pay to resolve the Versus dispute. Suck it, DirecTV. I'm calling for some free shit tomorrow. Get your customer ass-kissers ready. You may record that call for your "training purposes" but you're gonna want to burn it unless you want 118 operators to call in sick the following day.

I thought Jeff Reed's tackle attempt on Percy Harvin was the most pathetic football play I've ever seen. Then Favre packed it in on the final backbreaking INT. Seriously, the dude just retracted his legs from underneath himself while running. Almost like a plane retracting its landing gear. Or one of those toy dolls where you push the bottom button and the figure on top goes totally limp. NOTE: The effort on the strip-fumble-TD wasn't exactly stellar either. But hey: “He's a gunslinger!”

Little Things That You May Have Noticed Too, Because You Are Smart Attentive Football Fans Also...

Adrian Peterson is a stud. No news there. But he made a move that was rather incredible in its own subtlety. Bearing down in the open field on Ryan Clark, he lowered his body into the “missile” position. So did Clark. Yet at the last second, instead of absorbing the blow, Peterson yawed slightly to the right, only getting nicked, and picking up another yard in the process. Sweet.

Troy Polamalu knifed through the line on a goal-line stand to crush #38 for the Vikings and blow up the play. That full package of instinct, speed, game knowledge, and power doesn't come installed on 99% of players at his position.

Pierre Garcon's name on his jersey has a little squiggle under the “c.” Details. Nice.

Chris Henry caught an easy touchdown, cutting back against the flow in the endzone. The he casually flipped the ball to the ref. I almost fell out of my chair. Imagine that. A wideout with an appropriate reaction to a lollipop TD catch.

Jets special teams coach Mike Westhoff calls a (successful) fake punt on his own 20 against the Raiders in the first half. To quote Dabney Coleman in Dragnet: “You've got balls the size of church bells...”

Break My Heart Slowly

If there is one enduring truth about professional athletes that has remained constant since I began doing this crap professionally over 20 years ago, it is this: they are never happy with the WAY they find out about bad news.

Traded, benched, demoted, fired....

All tragic blows to the pro athlete's psyche. Yet it never reaches their ears the way they want.

Patrick Crayton is the lastest. Crayton just lost his gig to Miles Austin in Dallas. He has no real beef with the benching, just the Cowboys lack of explanation....

“Crayton was the odd man out, and he was looking for more explanation from the Cowboys.

"I would have loved it," Crayton said, via ESPN, while noting that neither head coach Wade Phillips nor coordinator Jason Garrett relayed the news to him. "It would have been real stand-up. That's not what happened. Oh, well."

REACT: Perhaps a finely engraved, gold laminated, 80 lb. Card stock note: “Dear Patrick. Due to the fact that you suck, you have been officially demoted on the depth chart. Please check chicken or fish at the bottom of this card. Thank you. Management.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



John in Laurel has Dan Snyder nailed.

I haven't believed in Snyder in 7 or 8 years. Looking at his repeated management screwups, I'm pretty sure he made his money by being a good salesman and being in the right place at the right time. He certainly didn't do it by being a good manager.

I'm no football person, but I do know management, and the principles are the same in business or in football, off the field. Find good people, give them the tools, protect them from outsiders, don't embarrass them, praise in public, censure in private. Danny has tumbled from one error to the next, with no apparent learning. He's got no learning curve, he's got a learning block; his ego's in the way.

I'm sure he sincerely wants to succeed, but have you noticed that every solution he's come up with has been marketing-driven, rather than fundamentally sound? Even the one fundamentally sound move he made, with Schottenheimer, was marketing-driven. It's always the next glitzy thing, the new shiny toy, but it looks as though the rest of the town has finally caught on that Danny has just been polishing a turd.

REACT: And even with a whole can of Minwax, turds never quite get that gleam, do they?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk.com posted a spaghetti-on-the-wall report that Gibbs might try to come back in a Bill Parcellsian role, ala his current spot with the Dolphins.

Not only do I think this is never going to happen, but if it did, it would be a complete disaster. Gibbs came back for one reason: CASH! Mission accomplished.

That said, I think Florio is a genius for building what is essentially a dot-com NFL noodle flinger (see what sticks, say you had it first! Forget the rest...) and making a mint off it, now selling it to NBC's Football Night In America.

I think Florio presents some very entertaining things, and I have no doubt he gets some very good “tips” from good sources. Still, I don't treat his stuff like the NFL rumor “Bible.”

UPDATE: My man Neal Jacobsen in Rockville chimes in: “Czabe, I just asked a buddy who is very active in the sports blogosphere who says that Florio posts about 50 stories a day, 20 of which are rumors, and about 50% end up being correct.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Week 7 NFL Picks

Coming soon....

Divorce, A Tradition Unlike Any Other

When dulcet toned sports announcing legend Jim Nantz took the stand in his contentious divorce trial, do you think he addressed the court with his usual soothing “Hello... friends...” greeting like he was at the Masters?

In 2004, I got the Man of the Year award from the New York Athletic Club. Rudy Giuliani had been the previous year's winner and it really meant a lot to me. My mother flew in from Houston, but Lorrie wasn't there." Nantz said he was given an oil portrait of himself at the dinner, but Lorrie wouldn't let him hang it in their Westport home. "It ended up in a warehouse"

Poor Jim Nantz. A gorgeous oil painting of himself, and nowhere to hang it. Reminds me of the classic Dennis Leary rant about how even Wayne Gretzky has 3 MVP trophies sitting in his garage.

Here's more of the ugly details. Apparently Nantzy found himself a 29 year old girlfriend (sporty!) while out touting his book about his late father.
I hope he gets through this okay. I still love Nantz as an announcer, and like I have said before, I'd gladly miss a flight for him, if necessary.



PS: Did Kramer ever get to hang his oil painting of himself where he wanted? Oh wait. That's right. Kramer was never MARRIED!!

And while we are on the subject, holy-crap-did-Steve-Phillips-have-a-slump-buster-or-what????

This gal couldn't get laid at a Star Trek convention with a fist full of $20's.

What is it about ESPN analysts keeping their junk in their pants, and their hands to themselves? Harold Reynolds, Sean Salisbury, now Phillips?

I remember when Phillips did those awful fake press conferences in the MLB off-season, pretending to address each team's needs before fake reporters, asking fake questions.

Maybe now, Phillips can do a fake press conference addressing this affair, and his upcoming disastrous divorce.

“Steve... Steve... um... Bill Clinton here... one question... couldn't you have found a 22 year old who looks a little better than that? I mean, even Monica Lewinski wasn't this heinous.”

Three Cheers For the Free Market!

Okay, so the Redskins are playing crap football, but how about them cheerleaders! Lookin' fine, ladies, lookin' fine!

Speaking of cheerleaders, Gregg Easterbrook argues in his excellent Tuesday Morning Quarterback column, that NFL cheerleaders are woefully underpaid. He argues that they are, in fact, professional performers, and should be paid accordingly.

EASTERBROOK: Cheer-babes dancing in short skirts, or posing for swimsuit calendars, is not exploitation. After all, you're supposed to look at the cheerleaders! Professional athletics is foremost a form of entertainment, and the scantily-clad dancing girl has a long history as integral to entertainment in theatrical arts as well as sport.

It is, however, objectionable if everyone involved in an NFL contest is making buckets of money, except for the cheerleaders. That's the case, and that is a form of exploitation. The NFL will have about $8 billion in revenue this season, and Green Bay, the one team that discloses financial information (the Packers are publicly owned), showed a profit of $20 million last year. There's plenty of money in professional football. But only crumbs go to the cheerleaders. NFL teams are believed to pay cheerleaders approximately $100 per game. (Several teams used to post cheerleader audition FAQs on their Web sites that included such info.) Some throw in two game tickets. Don't spend it all in the same place!

Cheerleader squads practice twice a week, and in most cases, cheerleaders are not paid for practicing. Some are charged to audition. They make unpaid charity appearances. In order to become cheerleaders, they sign away "subsidiary rights" to their images -- use in advertising, on swimsuit calendars and so on. Being a NFL cheerleader is glamorous and can entail exciting travel. Many women who take up this very time-consuming hobby would rather be cheerleaders receiving only token pay than not be cheerleaders. But that should not be the choice. "Do it cheap or we'll find someone else who will" is manipulation. Cheerleaders are professional performers and deserve decent pay.

REACT: Easterbook is brilliant 90% of the time, but this one is the equivalent of a pick-6 the other way. In fact, it sounds a lot like a deep and repressed liberal urge gurgling forth against the tide of his otherwise sensible, free market intellect.

NFL cheerleaders are paid exactly what they are worth. They may even be over-paid. How do I know this? Because the NFL has had no problem filling their cheer squads for this price. Ergo: the price is right. The market has spoken.

Trying to staff a cheer squad for a much lesser league at this price, would likely run you into personnel shortages or weight issues. The National Football League, however, carries tremendous resume value for these ladies. It carries community status, it carries secondary value that far exceeds the $100 bucks a game.

If this was not true, then you wouldn't need tryouts. You would just take the first 12 who volunteered.

As for being “professional performers” this is a stretch. Technically, yes. They perform, and they get paid. Pros. But outside of this, NFL cheerleaders have not gone through any certified training program. Many of them, did not cheer in college. And aside from a few practices during the week, during the season, its not as if they train prior to the season.

Furthermore, in the looks category (both body and face) most of these ladies would be unable to make it as strippers. Sure, many might not want to do that. But I am fairly certain a number of them would. It certainly pays more than $100 a week.

The problem with Easterbook's argument, is that he's basically spending other people's money. Sure, the NFL is a battleship loaded with gold. They could easily “afford” to pay these ladies 10x as much per game.

But what is a “fair” or “decent” wage?

Easterbrook, declined to say. With good reason. There is no firm number, because such a salary would be arbitrarily above market value.
And you just know that once you start paying these ladies more, they'll ask for more. If they bump it to $1000 per game, they'll also want higher appearance fees. Sick days. You name it. Pretty soon, they'll organize, and go on strike.

Easterbook plays the exploitation card here, but he's way off.

FedEx Field Trip: All The Misery In The World

I went to the Redskins game against the Chiefs on Sunday. I had out-of-town guests, and the Goettler’s of Columbus Ohio joined me on the trek to the big ol’ funnel of concrete and gaudy FedEx colors in the Squire inspired quaint lil’ town of “Raljon” Maryland.

Me, John, his two sports loving bush-eared sons Henry (12) and Peter (8).

We made it to the Caps-Predators game the night before. They saw three, awesome, genuine Alex Ovetchkin goals, including the game-winner in a shootout.

I joked – and I really did think it was a joke – “you know, that’s pretty neat you got to see the league MVP score three goals. Tomorrow, you might get so see (insert exaggerated voice) a REDSKINS TOUCHDOWN!”

Well, I knew I shouldn’t have teased them with such fantasy.

Driving in to the game, we encountered two orange jacketed parking lot attendants. I swear to god, they were performing a comedy routine. Standing no less than 10 feet apart, IN THE WAY OF INCOMING CARS, they proceeded to point in FOUR different directions, with each one of their four arms.

I am not making up one scintilla of this anecdote. Swear on my momma’s life!

Thankfully, there were color coded parking lot signs. I wouldn’t be surprised if these guys don’t have friendly wagers with each other over who can mis-direct the most cars, or cause an accident.

The stadium was dingy, poorly marked, and half empty.

My guests wondered how old it was. I winced when I said it had just turned 10 a few years ago.

The game experience is dreadful, and I haven’t yet begun to discuss the currently awful football team.

The video screen is small, square, and screams “Hello! I’m from 1997!” I almost think it sits in a giant built-in cabinet, so the bulging picture tube behind it can hide flush inside the bowels of the stadium.

Replays are sporadic. In Green Bay, you get two angles for EVERY play. I know. I was there two years ago.

The speakers are too loud, and the announcer is smarmy. He kept making fun of kicker Ryan Succup, by punching the name “suck-up!”

Only fitting then, that the guy single-footedly beat us. Stadium announcers need only to give yards gained, who made the carry or tackle, and the down and distance. They need not, and should not, be smartasses.

There were absolutely NO in-game presentation of key statistics. Anywhere. Only when Portis went over 100 yards on a generic plunge up the middle, did smarmy announcer man intone that Portis had made some fantasy geeks happy. Great. Shows you what’s important with this franchise.

Out of town scores?

Ha. Sure. They ran a full panel score run down once in the first half. It was of games from WEEK 2 in the NFL! Nice job. They ran updated scores once more, maybe, in the 2nd half. You also got a few scores on the video screen.

Not a single highlight from another game.

And while I understand you have to get in commercials and such, there was plenty of downtime, injury time, and extended TV timeouts where you could fit them in.

Eh, why bother? Right? We’ve got these suckers and their money already. That is going to change, people. Trust me. One helluva storm is coming to Danny’s ticket base.

The “Hail to the Redskins” song, when – ONCE AGAIN! – we were being shutout, was insulting to the core. The fact that the video showed all these images of great Redskins teams and players and coaches and moments from well over 15 years ago… before Snyder had made – and lost – his first million bucks marketing free product samples... was patently ridiculous.

The loudest cheer all day, was when it was announced that Todd Collins had replaced Jason Campbell. Those cheers didn’t last long.

Fans around us in the Club Seats… said very little. Cheered even less. A guy behind us started making cracks about all the obvious topics…. Zorn incompetence… woeful O-line… Campbell inaccuracy… DeAngelo Hall being totally over-rated, and overpaid….

But otherwise, the fans just sat there like they were all embarrassed to be sitting on some of the most over-priced seats in the building.

I saw and felt a fan base that had given up.

(For more on this, please read Dan Steinberg’s excellent account at the DC Sports Bog here…)

So I wonder. When will Snyder say what two words simply need to be said: “I’m sorry.”

When will he say: “This is not what I want to give our fans. And I am committed to getting it right.”

He doesn’t need to say anything else. He doesn’t need to DO anything else right now.

Nothing can be done. He can’t go back to the 2008 draft and trade the three worthless WR/TE’s for 3 young o-linemen.

Firing Zorn, will feel good someday. He’s a rare triple blend of arrogance, paranoia, and ineptitude. But that feeling will last maybe 2 days. Then the team will be even worse.

Just come out and say it: “I’m sorry.”

It won’t be accepted by many fans as even genuine. But it will be a start.

And if he ever wants to make the “in-store experience” better for his paying customers, he can call me. Fixing that, will be much easier than fixing his team.