Thursday, October 29, 2009
Flawed Execution, Indeed
This, my friends, is called a 99-yard bomb for a touchdown.
Well done, John Tayman. Keep it up.
The “Dilbert” Test
How do you know the Redskins are dysfunctional? Just go down several points from this un-related “Workplace Dysfunction” checklist.
Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face.
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough you should know already.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: When Vinny Cerrato claims that replacing Zorn as playcaller is really an attempt to give him the tools to help him succeed. Because they want him to succeed very much.
Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were.
Those huge salaries require some justification.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Gregg Williams. From “heir apparent” to “persona non-grata” because he supposedly “dissed” Joe Gibbs.
Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing.
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Like perhaps Zorn was discouraged from using an actual NFL agent to negotiate his head coaching contract?
Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening.
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Zorn said he was “strongly encouraged” to consider a change in play callers. The threats might not have been so “vague” if Steve Largent was correct about the “show him the contract” statement.
Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded.
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Sherm Smith gladly jumps in to the playcalling mix as Sherm Lewis' relay-man. Clinton Portis lobbies Zorn to replace Mike Sellers at FB.
Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible.
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Nobody doubts this. Only Snyder hides behind others on these decisions. At least Jerry Jones is out there taking credit or blame.
Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line.
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Zorn. Zorn. Zorn.
Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do.
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Albert Haynesworth allowed to take Monday off to go back to Tennessee to handle divorce issues.
Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.
REDSKINS EXAMPLE: Ring-a-ding-DING! Nothing describes the Snyder led Skins more accurately than this.