Monday, November 23, 2009
Back Up The Truck of Free Programming, Bitches!
I just knew that if it dragged on long enough, the stupid pissing match between the Versus Network and DirecTV was going to burn my ass.
Consider it charred.
The only game I wanted to watch on Saturday night, was - you guessed it! - Stanford vs. Cal on Versus.
So I called those clowns at DirecTV and asked them to ….
a. Count my number of HD DVR receivers (“oh, I have eight, do I? Well, that sure is a lot… isn’t it?”)
b. remind me how long I’ve been a DirecTV customer (“hmm. Since you began service in 1994? Un-interrupted? Wow, that’s pretty loyal, isn’t it?”)
c. Start throwin’ some free shit my way…
Predictably, the front line woman was of little use. She offered the Center Ice package for HALF PRICE plus $10 bucks off a month for 6 months.
So I was sent off to the “customer retention” department, where I made much better headway.
I got the Center Ice package thrown in gratis (Yea! Thrashers and Blue Jackets on a Tuesday night! Just what I wanted for Christmas!) which doesn’t really address the fact that the Caps will be on Versus A LOT this year.
I also got $20 off a month for 6 months.
I probably could have driven a harder bargain, but I only feel comfortable being a total prick on the radio. Yeah, I know. Hard to believe.
This has been repeated by many, and I am more than happy to publicize the fact that you can bang the monkeys at DirecTV for discounts and free packages if you threaten to leave.
Hell, you don’t even need a reason. Just call up, say you are out of work, and need to cancel service unless they can make it more affordable.
So what if it’s a total lie? Is this unethical? Hell no. It’s capitalism! They know damn well just how much each customer is worth, the cost off gaining new ones, the threat from other TV services.
Nobody is putting a gun to their heads on this.
Well, you are. Sorta.