The truth doesn't need a publicist.
And Tiger Woods doesn't fear the Windemere PD.
So this one, is going to the grave. Or, at the very least, marriage counseling.
Given that I was... ahem... incorrect... ahem.. in my skepticism of the Erin Andrews peephole story, I will perhaps not push "all in" on this one.
But I'm still calling bullshit. Just like everybody else.
Let's see. So what you are saying is....
Tiger Woods...
Supreme athlete...
Crashes his car...
At low speed...
Leaving his own driveway...
Hits both a fire hydrant...
AND a tree...
Not hard enough to deploy the airbags...
But hard enough to leave him bleeding and unconscious...
At 2:27 a.m....
By himself...
On Thanksgiving...
His lovely wife Elin, hears the crash...
Grabs a nearby 8-iron...
Heroically smashes out the rear window...
And pulls her hubby to safety...
Now. Go home people. Nothing to see here.
Suuuuuuuurrrrrrrre.
Tiger's stance is predictable. It's how he rolls.
“This situation is my fault, and it’s obviously embarrassing to my family and me,” Woods said. “I’m human and I’m not perfect. I will certainly make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible,” he said.
“The only person responsible for the accident is me,” Woods said. “My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble. She was the first person to help me. Any other assertion is absolutely false.”
Translation: "Pursue this at your own peril, sports media."
The real question now, is this. How long can this story hold water, before leaking? I mean, of course, unless it's true. But assuming it is not....
Because the story in my head, like most people's head... goes like this.
Elin chases Tiger out of the house over infidelity rumors by the National Enquirer. Smashes out window in a rage. Tiger, shocked and distracted, rolls into fire hydrant and tree. Hell, it might have been her that bloodied his lip.
Soooo.....
Lest that bit of uglyness get out there, jeopardizing millions in endorsements, while generating months worth of distracting media coverage, and forever tarnishing the impossibly clean image of Eldrick The Magnificient, we'll just stonewall.
What? What are you, Windemere PD going to do about it? What? What are you, Tim Rostaforte going to do about it? What? What are you, ESPN going to do about it?
Well. Let's wait and see. In the meantime, Kobe, could you please give Tiger a call. He might find that conversation useful.
What really does not make sense is the loss of consciousness after a relatively low speed front end motor vehicle accident (MVA) without airbag deployment. My guess is that he was struck in the head and face by Elin with the golf club which led to Tiger running to the car and driving erratically to avoid her. An MVA which damages public property (the fire hydrant) should open the door for a police investigation which cannot be dodged with "no comment - it is a private matter". Have the police interviewed the 911 caller?
ReplyDeleteMaybe Tiger will get Kobe's jeweler's contact info and another $4.0 million don't take me to divorce court ring is sold....
ReplyDeleteI'll help him out;)
ReplyDeleteThe lamestream sports media is too feckless to pursue this story, but the gossip media has brought down bigger, and will go after this story with a vengance. The other woman will give him up.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nationalenquirer.com/tiger_woods_cheating_rachel_uchitel_exposed_source/celebrity/67747
None of our business, women!!
ReplyDeleteJust wondering why we care? The Sports Reporters spent the entire first segment on this garbage yesterday rather than the great college football games coming up or the NFL stuff. Let the tabloids deal w/ this crap. Gimme back my sports!
ReplyDeleteI think this story stinks much worse than the EA story. I can't think of a plausible explanation that's OK for Tiger. One thing in Tiger's favor is I haven't seen any photos of him with the alleged bimbo like they had with A-Rod.
ReplyDeleteTiger had better keep his black pants on or else it will cost him a lot of $$$.
My head gunna 'splode if there's a story linking him with Chris Everett.
ReplyDeleteI love you Czabe...but tread carefully on my boy. It doesn't matter what he ever does or doesn't do, people can't wait to shake their fingers at him in disdain. Perhaps I was naive enough to think that someone as seemingly principled as Tiger could buck the "I'm an athlete so I have to sleep around" trend. But whether those rumors are true or not, he deserves a little privacy and a little respect. At least he isn't out show-boating his inappropriate conduct if that is the case. That is more than I can say for the average super star these days.
ReplyDeleteWhat's really sad is if Tiger was not who he was, and this same situation happened to one of us, the Florida Patrol would not pursue the matter any further. But because of who he is and how much money this story could potentially make, they are all over it. What is sad is that these situations are probably more common with much worse outcomes, but are probably not being pursued with the same gusto.
ReplyDeleteI think he was drunk. I don't think we should be so quick to trust what the police officer wrote down on the police report. All it takes is one time to mark the N next to the box as to whether or not alchohol was involved and you'll never actually know the truth. Performing a blood alchohol test is purely up to the police officer who arrives at the crime.
ReplyDeleteTiger isn't the only player to struggle at the at a major event, The Fidelity Challenge. Guess he hit a few holes in one.
ReplyDeleteTiger Woods is a gentleman, scholar and a douche bag
ReplyDelete