Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sorry, Charlie

Charlie Weiss is about to be one big gutted fish at Notre Dame.

I’m not sorry for him. Nobody is.

The contract that he was able to flim-flam out of the Irish athletic department “brain trust” (mock air quotes intended) after just SEVEN GAMES and one close loss to USC was absurd.

Here. Have a good laugh on how it was written back then…

"Since the first day I arrived at Notre Dame as head football coach, one of my primary goals was to be able to see this job through to the time my son, Charlie, would graduate from the University of Notre Dame and to stay in this position until I retire," Weis said. "By restructuring this contract, adding an additional five years, this allows me to accomplish that goal."

Weis has led the Fighting Irish, who began the season unranked, to a 5-2 mark and the No. 9 ranking. Notre Dame also nearly upset top-ranked Southern California three weeks ago before coming up just short, 34-31.

"In a very short period of time, Charlie has clearly and impressively demonstrated the ability to take the Notre Dame program where we all want it to go," Notre Dame athletic director Kevin White said.

"We're excited that Charlie wanted to extend his commitment to Notre Dame, combined with the University's interest in furthering its relationship with him. All of us are enthusiastic about what the future holds for Notre Dame football with Charlie Weis as our head coach. We're confident that we've got the best coach in America ensconced at his alma mater for the remainder of his career."

REACT: To quote Moe Syzlak.. “Oh yeah. Not no more, you ain’t.”

If this one deal doesn’t put an end to the idiotic contracts in college football, then nothing will.

For the record, however, I’m still betting on the “nothing will.”

If I had a football program, it would go like this. New coaches get 4 year contracts. PERIOD. At the end of 3, we either re-negotiate or go our separate ways, and we only have 1 year of salary to eat.

You want an “out clause” do you? Um, no.

I believe top programs will get good, hungry, non-celebrity coaches this way. Sure, you may lose them too. But there will be more. There are a lot of Randy Edsalls, Chip Kellys, Jim Harbaughs, and Paul Johnsons out there.

Too many programs want to put their new coach ABOVE the program. Why? Your helmet, your tradition, your alumni, your fan base should come first and foremost. Big time programs should essentially tell these guys “you are lucky to be coaching us, pal. Now get to work.”

But no, that’s not how it works these days.

Guys like Weiss and Rich Rod get massively overpaid from Day Zero, and quite often the pressure to live up to the money ends up strangling them.

Right now, Virginia and Maryland suck donkey balls, and yet Al Groh and Ralph Friedgen are making nearly $2 million per year each.

There is simply NO WAY that each program would be worse off with “Un-named Assistant X” at the helm.

But I perhaps under-estimate the real driving force of these hires, and the contracts. I gotta believe that most athletic directors have brains larger than a barnyard animal. They know it’s absurd, and more often than not, a recipe for failure.

It’s the irrational, fan-like passions of the boosters that makes it happen. And most of these boosters (let’s just call them “Hoss” and “Tex”) have plenty of cash to burn, but absolutely zero patience or perspective on what makes sense.

Good thing we have an elaborate, unpopular, and corporately underwritten “Bowl System” to help fund all of this.

You may now carry on, as you were.


  1. The Lame Stream sports media aided and abetted Charlie the Tuna's ascention with their sycophantic promotion of ND's greatness. For all the Golden Domer's holier than thou, above it all nonsense is a love of the green. They took big money from NBC, didn't join a conferense and embarked on a journey of playing mid- to low-level teams with the USC exception. There was no justification for ND being ranked at all this year, at any point in the season. This is another of Belicheck's disciples who hasn't quite panned out.

  2. When will Notre Dame figure out the problem isn't the head coach? Most high school athletes want to play in a warm climate nowadays. Having higher academic standards doesn't help either.

    They can keep throwing money at new head coaches or accept the fact that they'll probably never compete for a national championship and the Gator bowl is the best they're going to do. There are a few exceptions like Ohio State, but even Ohio State can only hope to dominate the Midwest.

  3. Sorry, Charlie. There's always the Cleveland Browns

  4. As a UVA alum, I agree whole heartedly with your statement on Groh. Why not hire a young, up-and-coming, no name coach? He can not do any worse.