Face it, you're gonna watch tonite. For the train wreck quality alone. You'll watch. Sure, it's stupid-on-stilts, but its like those donkey-dive-stunts from the 40's.
Why the f would anybody push a mule off a board into a pool of water?
Because it's not something you see every day!
So tonite, Lebron James is going to grab a baseball hat one second, and immediately spike a 500% surge in season ticket prices in another city the next.
It shall be televised on ESPN.
What, did you think Versus was in the running on this one?
If you are trying to flowchart or score all the journalistic conflicts and problems with ESPN on this one, stop. Just stop.
It would be easier to count the exact number of highlights in ESPN's "Final Cavs Lebron Highlight Package". I think the thing went about 4 minutes, and had somewhere easily north of 100 different dunks, blocks, chalk-volcanoes and fake photo-poses.
Overkill. Duh. It's what ESPN does best. And Phil Mushnick takes the biggest bat to this pinata.
A one-hour show for James to announce his new kingdom?
If he doesn't re-sign with Cleveland, it will take only 10 minutes for the price gouging to kick in.
Does ESPN already know James' new team?
Doesn't much matter; ESPN outlets took good care of that yesterday, suggesting that James will sign with five or six NBA teams and one or two in the American Hockey League. It bet every horse in the race; it has the winning ticket.
In the throes of a drought, it's worth remembering that crops die from over-watering, too. That's what ESPN does -- it saturates; it drowns nearly everything it touches in excess. It specialized in root rot; root rot in inevitable.
Yup, ESPN is the perfect place for the consolidation of Too Much and That's Enough. Tonight will be like the gold spike driven to complete the trans-continental railroads. Don't miss it. But who will? We'll try anything, at least once.
Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/knicks/truly_bad_decision_dQy1A7o1B8eamJniL7sRNL#ixzz0t8DqCLoS
We are now just hours before the big reveal, and let me get on record with one last prediction. Shocker: he does go to NY, and the Miami rumors were just an orchestrated ruse, approved of by his buddies Wade and Bosh.
Think of it. If this guy went to such lengths to orchestrate a show of this magnitude, then why not go all the way and orchestrate one final little white lie to make the WOW factor even more WOWY when it goes down?
Bron: Knick. Book it.