Friday, July 23, 2010

"It id, what it id...."

Or something like that.

I believe, although my hearing is starting to fade after all these years in radio, that is what Chris Johnson calls his souped-up, sweet-ass hooptie of a vehicle.

"I call it, it id, what it id...."

Look. Chris Johnson is a fabulous athlete. He may also be a decent guy. But if you could write a cliche about the modern NFL player, would you include as many stereotypes in one guy as REALLY DO exist with the Titans star back?

I think not.

Why, they would call you a racist!

Gold teeth: check.
Tattoos from goal-line-to-goal-line: check.
Iced out watch and necklace: check.
Pimped ride: check.
Likes the club life: check.
Unhappy with contract: check.
Thinks he should be the league MVP: check.
Biggest Goal: breaking individual record, not winning SB.

I mean, wow. That's a cartoon character! But hey, he's really really fast, and he piled up really insane numbers last year, and um... yeah. The Titans still didn't make the playoffs.

So how valuable were Johnson's rushing numbers anyway?

That's a good debate over summer beers. For the record, I think they were valuable, but perhaps not nearly as much as he - or his diamond encrusted 40-yard-dash-time might think.

When a running back has THREE touchdowns of 85 or more yards, that's amazing. But you don't call 85 yard TD runs in the huddle. To me, yards 10-85 are less important, because they may represent defensive breakdowns more than actual running back skill.

You run the football in the NFL with the goal of having every run go for at least 4 yards. Everything on top of that is gravy. Or luck.

If you back out the 75 yards after the initial 10 on those touchdowns, that's 225 yards or well over 10% of his season rushing total on 3 plays!

So does a 1780 yard running back on a non-playoff team deserve to be considered the "best back in football" or the MVP?

I'm not so sure.

But that necklace is dope, yo. Let's hope nobody ever posts a 4.1 at the combine!


  1. From one narcissistic athlete to another, "I love me some me!"
    And I thought TO was a me first jerk.

  2. Can't wait to see him broke and looking like a fool in 10 years.

  3. Would you even debate on weather or not he deserves to be #1 overall pick in fantasy leagues?