Monday, July 19, 2010
A Madness To His "Method"
I only wish Donald Trump himself had been flown in to do the honors. Looking right down into Tiger's bag, he could have lectured the new Method putter about how it had let the World's #1 player down. How it would never make it in the competitive flatstick market if it didn't work much harder to please its owners.
And then: “You're fi-ahed!”
If I were Stevie Williams, I'd be puttin' out more than just feelers right now. I'd be puffing into my own inflatable life raft. Wife. Fired. Coach. Fired. Putter. Fired.
Can “Caddy” be that far behind?
So for the record, let's go tale of the tape here.
Majors: 13 (all but 1997 Masters, Ping Anser)
Earnings: $83.6 million.
Nike Method Putter
Sunday Rounds: 0
Earnings: It ain't getting none of Tiger's money!
Majors: Major pain in Tiger's ass, that's what!
I am going to go out on a limb and say we won't be seeing that Nike Method putter back in Tiger's back until... uh, well, never.
That putter is coming back like Adrianna is coming back to play herself in the Sopranos movie.
That putter is coming back like the “3 to make 2” rule in the NBA.
Ian Baker Finch will earn his tour card back before that putter gets to crawl back into Tiger's bag.
So this is how this guy rewards and thanks a major international conglomerate like Nike. Perhaps his staunchest marketing ally, and the one company that didn't flinch when it came time to either stand by him or cut him loose. The same company that cut him a (seemingly) insane $40 million contract deal before he won a single Tour event.
They no doubt paid him EXTRA to play that stupid putter this week. And all they wanted from him, was to NOT – under any circumstances, Tiger – blame the fucking putter!
I bet Nike reps were saying to Tiger's people: “Look, unless the Big Cat is totally in love with this thing, and ready to really show it some love, then let's not do it. Let's wait. We'll hold off.”
And I bet Tiger, or his people, said, “Nah, nah. Whatever. We'll use it. Now make that check out to my “other” bank account.”
So when he's clearly out of it on Sunday – I mean, snowball's chance in hell out of it – the least he could do is suck it up and play one more dumbass round with the thing.
Then, back stateside, he could just lie about how much he liked it on slower greens, and that he thinks it might be perfect for us weekend publinxers because of the greens we play on. But because we're back to super slick stateside greens on Tour, he's sorry, but the Scotty Cameron is back in the back.
Like you know, “you don't lose your starting job to slow greens” kind of thing.
But no. Tiger chose not to do that. He chose to be a petulant dick.
Nike's money is gone. The Method Putter is on a rocket sled to the discount barrel at your local pro shop, and he doesn't give a rats ass.
Are you folks starting to see why rooting against him has become such delicious fun?