Sunday, October 4, 2009

Down In Flames


In the immortal words of Emily Litella.... never mind.

As you know by now, the pervy perp in the Erin Andrews hotel-video-scandal has been nabbed. The case looks pretty airtight.

And I look pretty stupid.

Yeah, my “Unified Alternate Erin Andrews Theory” is down in flames. I shed a small tear just looking at the wreckage, but at least the lovely Erin can sleep better now.

It was a good theory. It was a beautiful theory.

It just happened to be dead wrong.

Am I “sorry” you ask? Hell, no.

It was a theory. I said so, all along. And even though I was convinced of my theory, it's the near obligation of the sports radio host to have theories on things. In fact, it is what we get paid for.

And we are wrong, plenty. Like I was here.

Remember, all along, I never ascribed any motives to Andrews other than an attempt to limit embarrassment. I always thought she was a “victim” of sorts. Only I thought she was the victim of a boyfriend who simply couldn't resist emailing somebody his video booty of her.

It was my producer Solly, who should do some apologizing. He has called her, among other things, “a lying whore.” Ahem. That's HIM, not me.

I've always been a fan of Erin. Solly apparently thinks she only the journalistic equivalent of Mike Wallace should be on the sidelines. Whatever.

Now, on to the FBI complaint against this guy. It is rather jaw-dropping in many ways.

Remember, part of what led me to be so suspicious, was my incredulity that somebody could successfully get Andrews' hotel room number. Isn't that the FIRST, LAST, and CARDINAL RULE of any hotel?

Don't give out room numbers to ANYBODY! From the Four Seasons on down to the seediest Motel 6!

And yet, this guy was not just able to get her room number, but he was able to request a room RIGHT NEXT TO HER! (Methinks Erin will be OWNING a Marriott in her near future.)

From there, he somehow unscrewed the inner eye-piece, hacksawed it down to just a few millimeters of thread, put it back, and then was able to unscrew it quickly, and catch Andrews at just the right time with his cell phone.

Finally, the guy was so stupid, that he actually emailed TMZ to offer the videos for sale. His internet footprints are all over the place, and the complaint lays them out in painstaking detail.

In the end, I suppose I put too much stock in the blanket of no-comment on the case. I should have assumed a full legal hunt was on. I also under-rated the stupidity of creeps like this.

Going forward, I gotta believe hotels will ratchet down their policies on “hey can I get room next to” requests. Plus, they might want to ask a company to design peepholes that cannot in any way be tampered with like this.

If not, then hell, I'm going to start asking for a room next to Megan Fox.


  1. Czabe, Ive been a fan since I found you on 102.1 in the 757. Unfortunately your show was replaced by the Man Cow show several months ago. Because of this I was driven to downloading your pod casts. While they are not as good as the real thing, I now let my girlfriend listen to everything I think she may find interesting. I had her listen to a segment you did concerning Miss Andrews, and she was instantly doubtful of your theory. She felt it was quite a stretch that EA would go through such lengths to have her video look like it was shot through a peep hole just in case it gets out. My girl didn't buy it. I on the other hand, found your theory very believable, especially in light of you recent hunch on Farve coming to pass. With this in mind, as soon as I saw this break in the case, I told my girlfriend, and she immediately asked me what Czabe had to say about it..... I didn't expect you to have responded so soon, but I'm glad you did. Both my girlfriend and I thought it was big of you to man up so quickly and admit you were wrong. As far as what Miss Andrews may think of your doubting the validity of her story, I think extending a invitation to her to be on your show would be a great first step. If she accepted your invite, do you have any idea where she may be staying???

  2. So we come back to Czabe's observation of EA's in-room behavior: She parades around her hotel room naked doing borderline stripper moves as she irons clothing and performs other mundane tasks? Wow, that's hot...God Bless America.

  3. Czabe, I agree, and would like to add to your comments about the hotel policies.

    I'm a F & B manager for a hotel in Milwaukee. There are tons of confidentiality policy agreements in place, to ensure something like this could never happen. What your fans and followers need to keep in mind, is the following things had to happen to make this "arrest" legit, and not just a random "let's find someone to make this peeping tom story seem real".

    1a) This guy would have had to track down Erin's travel itinerary, and randomly called every hotel in each city, to find which one she was staying at.

    1b) This is of course, if the hotel front desk employee, just happened to be friendly and nieve enough to break the confidentiality agreement, and let the caller know that a high-profile guest is indeed staying in their hotel. (almost immediate termination if found out).

    2a) The front desk employee, would then have to book and lock Erin's room to ensure it would not be moved to another floor or room location, AND THEN, release thus reserved room number, all the while he was on the phone waiting.

    2b) This peeping tom, would have had to check into the same hotel, the day of Erin's reservation, then sometime after the guests who were staying in the room checked out, housekeeping cleaned out the room, and then before Ms. Andrews check into her room...he would have had to remove, and then install his modified peep-hole. Mind you, without anyone seeing him doing this.

    3) Then, he would have had to sit in the hall-way, at random times of the day/afternoon/night, with a camera or his cell phone, and video-tape her in the room, without: Hotel Security, Housekeeping, hotel guests, room service attendandts, M.O.D.'s patroling the halls, and video security not seeing him do this.

    It's hard to imagine this happening in 1 hotel, let alone, the intial report stating that this happened in 8 hotels. If it is true, as you stated, Erin will be owning some hotels in the near future, and many employees and managers will be receiving pink slips for their illegal actions.

  4. John Hinkley, in an attempt to impress Jodie Foster, nearly killed the President of the United States.

    People always underestimate the combination of dogged determination and a splash of crazy.