Friday, October 9, 2009

Protected Species

We lead this Friday with a great riff from Drew Magary at about the continuing sissi-fication of the league.

By the way, a giant FUCK YOU to Tom Brady's weak little knee for destroying roughing the passer and unnecessary penalties across the entire league. Every game I've seen this year has featured at least one completely unjustified personal foul penalty. I've seen secondary players flagged for putting a shoulder in the wideout's chest. I've seen defensive ends flagged for tackling the QB at the waist. I've seen players flagged for roughing the QB despite merely grazing them half a millisecond after the ball is thrown. It's fucking ridiculous. I understand the need to protect offensive players as the game grows faster and more violent. That's fine. I have no problem with the rules. My problem is that the rules are being enforced poorly. This isn't shit that refs should be figuring out on the fly. They should fucking be consistent about this shit right now. Teams are getting hosed left and right. Defenders are letting QB's run free because they're afraid to wrap up. It's a joke.

Nice stick, Drew. Let me pile on, helmet first, Chuck Cecil style...

Indeed, the nutless bean counters at NFL properties and the TV division wet their pants at the thoughts of losing a single marketable star, especially cross-promotional heart-throb married to a supermodel. Last I checked, however, the league didn't collapse into a smoldering pile of melted shoulder pads last season. No franchises folded. Super Bowl was pretty bitchin, if I recall. These wanks however, are totally unaware of the fact that legions of football mad fans will watch the NFL no matter what stars are currently popping 86 percocets on Monday morning just to get out of bed. While I don't condone the obvious cheap-shotting that was prevalent in the 1970s and 80s, there must be some level of violence that is accepted. There will be blood. Handle it, Goodell.


Kudos (I guess) to Michelle Wie for helping land golf a spot on the Olympic schedule (although I doubt she was much more than a ceremonial cherry on top). Now, I wonder if she'll wave her Nike contract around and ask for an exemption. Either that, or just snub the women's team, and claim all along it was her life dream to play on the men's Olympic golf team. Cue clueless non-golfing media members to write about how great a Woods-Wie Olympic pairing would be. FAIL.


And now, Jimmy Masterlock for Week #5! Jimmy has been colder than lake trout in a trunk during a Minnesota winter lately, so if he doesn't pick it up, he'll be dialing his cell phone with broken thumbs. My advice, take Jimmy's bucket of steam, and run the other way – right to the cashier's window!

SEASON: 5-12

Carolina -3.5 vs. Washington
An 0-3 team, at home, in desperation, coming off a bye week, is 77-1 all time ATS and SU when less than a TD favorite against an opponent who has hired an “outside consultant” during the week. Great spot for Carolina. PICK: Panthers 31-20.

Baltimore -9 vs. Cincinnati
At home, the Ravens are a flat-out buzz-saw. Even though the Bengals seem to be loveable cardiac kids this season, the close shave against hapless Cleveland last week has me officially off their wagon. PICK: Ravens 44-18.

New England -3 at Denver
Who has the cooler cut-off sweatshirt, Belichick or McDaniels? Lots of bad blood here, especially with how Denver bounced the Pats several years ago in the playoffs on that controversial Champ Bailey 99 yard INT return for a TD. Patriots missed the playoffs last year, and botched their perfect season two years ago, but they still get Super Bowl Champion effort from every opponent. All that said, I'm still not buying Denver. PICK: Patriots 20-13.

Atlanta +2.5 at San Francisco
Here's why it pays to watch the games, or at least read the box score. Even though the final score of last week's win over St. Louis was lopsided, this was a 7-0 game deep into the third. Atlanta has had a tough, front loaded schedule to some degree, but will be ready off their bye week to remind folks they remain as solid as they come in the NFL right now. PICK: Atlanta 27-21.


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  2. Patriots are so awesome. Tom Brady deserves these rules. He carried the NFL on his back since 2001 and not one person besides me is showing him love for it. He brought the winning mentality back to sports. He finished what Drew Bledsoe started. He learned from a great and took it to a next level. Unlike a lot of these young QB punks do. Got the Super Bowl rings to back it up. Peyton Manning is messed up from late hits. No QB deserves a lot of the late hits I see in the game. It's basically catch-22. Some hits are justified and some are mean-- wanna put the QB out forever and get fame hits. So it's a toss-up.

  3. Are you a girl? Because I don't think you have any. You should become a Soccer fan if you don't like the hitting.

    If this stuff was called straight across the board then the Packers would have more Unsportsmanlike Penalties called for them, the amount of times Rodgers gets hit. But its not called straight up, those flags thrown last week for hits on Brady were utterly ridiculous. Just as ridiculous as your comments about him bringing winning mentality back to sports, what kind of crap is that. Do you even watch sports? The officiating, as well as the anti-hitting legislation, in the NFL is becoming like the NBA, which is a complete joke and it will ruin the game. And yes I enjoyed watching Chuck Cecil and Johnny Gray all of those years taking people's heads off.

  4. Tom Brady is the man bro. He is the epitome of NFL. And David Hasselhoff is a stud

  5. Jimmy's DOWN! Jimmy didn't really say "it pays to watch the games" then go 0-4 this week did he? Jimmy may need ift shoes after getting his knee caps busted after another O'fer week. Maybe Jimmy should consult with Mel Torme on his picks?

  6. I must have had a Jimmy the SF/ATL picks reversed. My bad JIMMY! 1-3. YEAH

  7. Czabe is on target. It is bad enough that receivers cry for flags after every pass but when Brady turns to the ref and pleads when he gets grazed is a joke.

  8. StB, That's part of being a 3 time SuperBowl champion. All the greats do it. Michael Jordan, Kobe, Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer. It's not cheating but it is making calls go your way. But I'm laughing because everybody dumping on Tom Brady because of Ray Lewis said. Lol, and he is the same guy that planted a stupid/ dirty hit and cost him team the game 2 weeks in a row. Nice one Czabe and all of you other sport know it alls

  9. The frustrating part to all of this (whether it be Brady Jordan getting the calls, or Greg Maddux getting the pitch thats 8 in. outside) isnt so much that they get the calls - even though that is a weak ass rule. Its that it isnt consistent. In the exact same game, Joe Flacco got rocked on a hit em high/hit em low quasi late hit around the knee and guess what call he got...Nothing. If you are going to make them wear a dress, at least make them all wear one.