Monday, October 12, 2009

It's Bag Packing Time

Kids, it's time to pack your bags. Our freedom flight to a better land, where we can hope anew for a better life is almost at hand.

It's going to be Houston Texistan or bust!

The current Redskin regime is unstable, and hope has been abandoned.

As I wrote almost a year and half ago, this will be regarded as a bold adventure.

But back to the "refugee status" concept in the NFL ... Does it even exist? Can one honestly claim it? And what are the terms and conditions?

I believe that every fan is entitled to ONE change of allegiance per sport -- IN THEIR LIFETIME.

However it is permanent, and absolute. No second thoughts, flip-flopping or front-running are permitted.

I was not going to change my nationality; I was just seeking a place to land for a period of 10 to 20 years, or until it was safe to return. Not unlike an Afghani donut shop owner here in America who someday yearns to return to his native land when such a shop can be opened over there without risk of beheading.

My plan was to find a team that would "take me in" and allow me to root in earnest for a franchise that is not so arrogant and reckless in their football business as The Snyderskins.

I knew I would be on "probationary" status with that team. I planned to work hard reading message boards and team history to properly assimilate.

And should my new "team / country" have enjoyed great football success, I vowed to keep my head low and heart humble, since I was such a newcomer to what might have been decades of suffering.

The Green Bay Packers would have been a logical choice for refuge. There is no "owner" and as you know, I've been a "virtual" Wisconsinite through Bob & Brian for almost 12 years running.

But, I just wouldn't feel quite right.

I also didn't want to jump to any team that was even remotely any good. To do so would bring charges of bandwagon jumping, and perhaps rightly so.

I couldn't flee to a team in my own division, the NFC East. To do so, would be as bad as a Serbian running across the border to Kosovo.

I needed an NFL refugee "country" with all the right parameters. Somebody who was not particularly good, had no long suffering fans to resent my jumping on board their slow boat to football insanity, and had a color scheme and logo I could tolerate.

After much consulting with the good folks at, I decided that this place called "Houston Texistan" looked like it might be just the right place to hang out for a decade or so until things in "Redskins Nation" sorted themselves out.

Not only is their nation's color scheme and official logo quite sharp -- a deep blue primary, with red and white accents in the outline of a giant steer skull -- but the team itself met all my criteria.

Recently resurrected from the ashes of the Oilers, there's no history per se to have to learn or tiptoe around. The aren't very good now, and have never been.

And best of all, I could still HATE the Godless Cowboys as much as I did while residing in Redskins Nation.

As Borat would say: "Isssss niiiicce! High five-ah!"

I tend to think most Houston Texans fans would welcome me to their small and growing little NFL nation. However, I must confess, I have yet to actually meet or hear from a real live, Texan-istani.

For now, I'm going to stay put in my little one-story brick and mud hut here under the tyranny of Snyder. Things likely won't get better anytime soon, but I dream of celebrating Snyder's exit by dancing in the streets under the beautiful Burgundy and Gold banner.

On that day, the pain and suffering will be forgotten.


  1. Czabe,

    I love the radio show (I listened via the web when deployed to Camp Syverson for a year of fun and sand) and the blog.

    If you're going to seek refugee status, I recommend the Jacksonville Jaguars. Their fanbase needs all the help it can get. The team will very likely offer you deeply discounted tickets. Even better - as a non-local, you'll actually be able to see the Jaguars on television.

    I am a lifelong NY Giants fan, so I appreciate Redskins' fans' current suffering. (Meaning both that I understand it and that I enjoy it. heh.) That being said, the Redskins remind me of the late 1970s NY Giants:
    -- Solid, if unspectacular, defense with some pro-bowl level talent: London Fletcher is your Harry Carson.
    -- A weak offense and an offensive coordinator whose play selection is inept (see, FUMBLE, The; also know as Miracle at the Meadowlands, Nov. 1978)

    Q: What do the current Redskins and the 1970s Giants have in common?
    A: Dysfunctional ownership and no General Manager.

    It took the NFL commissioner stepping in to get the Giants turned around, largely by recommending the appointment of George Young as GM and putting an end to the civil war between the Giants’ owners. Unfortunately, I don't think the NFL commissioner in 2009 is about to take-on rehabilitation of the Redskins as a pet project... not with a 2010 labor battle looming and the possible relocation of the Vikings or Jaguars.

    Anyway, keep it up. Love the show.

    R, CSG

    p.s. take Andy out for an ice cream after the show this afternoon. He’ll need some encouragement knowing how the rest of the NFL season will likely play out.

  2. As we get older we shouldn't have to be held captive to teams who don't/can't do the right thing. Our time and emotional energy becomes more valuable as we age and I, for one, refuse to waste these precious resourses on any foolish endeavour. Just like you wouldn't buy a crappy car or invest in an underperforming stock simply because you always have, you shouldn't have to stick with a team that is poorly run. This isn't changing allegiance because another team is winning, but doing so because this new team does things in a way that we can relate to and agree with.
    This is why I won't be rooting for the Mets until the get rid of the current cast of clowns.

  3. Czabe,
    Interesting blog living in Wisconsin we have seen many defactors lately, and the worst part is it is to a divison rival. I say yes you are allowed to change sides, but you are never welcome back. You hear that all you purple number 4 wearing d-bags I hope you enjoy wearing your purple jerseys long after the 1 year of Bert Favre.

  4. Come to the Green & Gold, you know you want to.

    And here's to an early meltdown of #4 in his Purple horned devil suit. I hope he breaks their hearts. And agreed the those purple 4 wearing d-bags need to stay with the purple, they are not welcomed back.

  5. Czabe - so I have been a Cowboys fan since Morton was their starting QB. I lived through the Super Bowl wins versus the Dolphins and the Broncos and survived the gut-wrenching losses at the hands of the Steelers and a 1 - 15 season. I saw them return to greatness under Troy and Emmitt and watched them beat the Steelers on a 13" TV while stationed in Bosnia surrounded by Steeler fans and was the highlight of that deployment. However, I can no longer abide the circus that has landed in Dallas beginning with T.O. and ending for me with the Romo bust. (No - we simply did not need Brees with Romo waiting in the wings!) So I will fondly remember Roger and Tom, Randy and Too-Tall, Emmit and Troy however, I knew I was a nomad when I was found myself hoping Denver - DENVER - beat the 'boys. So fellow traveler, I agree that the Texans could provide that home away from home. sigh...JWP

  6. Czabe - sometimes in life things just fall into place at the right time. Little strange coincidences point towards a clearer and more meaningful path.

    I have been a lifelong Redskin fan - 35 years and counting. I recall begging my parents to let me skip school to go to the parade when the skins brought back that first Super Bowl trophy. I remember cutting out each and every column Tony Kornheiser wrote during that incredible run in 91/92. I even named a dog Art.

    Later in life I had the fortune of coaching high school football with a few ex-Redskins from the glory years. I would sit in the locker room after Friday night games listening to their stories of Manley and Riggins and Bugle. Priceless memories.

    Recently I moved my family out west to Utah. I'd been a faithful listener to your show (until the morning show was supplanted by that joke Mike and Mike ESPN show - what trash...but that's another post). I know you are available out here but with the time change I don't often here it. I've only been able to judge your mood by these blog posts but I know it's just like mine - disgusted.

    I was thinking today how this would be the perfect time for me to jump ship. I wouldn't have to deal with peer pressure or TV/Radio coverage of my beloved Skins becomming a laughing stock. Out in Utah the closest team is Denver so maybe I just ease into their fan base without much notice.

    For the first time in my life I paid for DirecTV and the NFL ticket. I called them 5 minutes after the loss to Carolina to see if I could get my money back. No longer do I desire to watch this clown organization. I don't even blame what I see on the field too much. Zorn is out of place. Too many divas. Too many overpaid free agents. The list goes on. For me it's all about the front office. I could stomach a few mistakes, but the list of grievances is staggering. Those who continue to do the same things and expect different results are idiots.

    I don't enter into this decision lightly nor do I think I've made it final. If I don't see serious changes this year (I mean big changes - Vinny out, Portis out, all free-agents on the O-line, etc.) I see myself making the change. I'm not sure how or why I continue to back a team I can't respect. All the invested years just seem like a waste now. If I move on what a sad day that will be....

  7. Don't you mean burgundy and black?

  8. I'm just going to go into hibernation. Stop making time for watching the games. If I have nothing better to do on a Sunday afternoon, I'll watch. But I won't reschedule things around their games.

    Little by little Danny's empire is crumbling. Poor play won't bring it down. The only thing that can is losing money.

    The next generation aren't ardent fans like our generation that grew up on glory. If things don't turn around, the Skins will be like the Wizards and have to lure ticket buyers with promotions.

  9. KidHorn you hit the nail on the head. I am emotionally withdrawing from my Redskins account. A true fan should never ever look to latch on to another team under any circumstance. It is your team FOR BETTER OR WORSE.

    Hibernation is a good way of putting it. Enjoy other football and follow the Skins...just don't set yourself up for heartbreak until the culture changes.

    We could have a competent GM come in here and blow everything up and be assured losing seasons for the next 2 or 3 years and I would be ecstatic. Danny doesn't get that.

  10. The only people I despise more than 3 certain individuals in DC are lil danny and ratboy cerrato. After 38 years of being a diehard skins fan, I took your advice and made the switch when we moved to Overland Park KS last year.

    If you are still looking for a new team, let me suggest the Chiefs, who by the way the Skins will probably find a way to lose to.

    The Chiefs are definitely not a franchise that can be described as arrogant and reckless. They have a new GM and Head Coach who are moving this once sinking ship in the right direction. They have an owner who is pretty much non existent except when it comes to talking about/making the fan experience one of the best in the NFL. Arrowhead Stadium is undergoing a $375M renovation which will be completed next year.

    Looking for a team that’s not even remotely good…They’ve got you covered, currently 0-5 and going to DC this weekend so you can even watch them first hand.

    AFC West….not even in the same conference.

    Long suffering fans…that’s a gray area.

    Team Logo: Arrowhead…the Native American theme could continue and as a side note, arrowheads were once used to kill giant steers.

    Color scheme Red and Gold. Makes the shift easier, now and 20+ years from now, as you only need to change from Burgundy to Red and vice versa.

    Growing up as a Skins fan in Fairfax/Vienna/Oakton I learned to despise anything and everything from TX. Even after living in Corpus Christi (what a dump) for 6 years and dating my future wife who was an attorney in Houston, my attitude towards the state has softened only a little (it’s more of a Red State than Virginia, but then so is KS which also was a Red state the last 4 presidential elections). I would even be willing bet (if there was a way to accurately capture this metric) there are more Cowboys fans in Houston than there are Texan fans. Houston Texistan…don’t do it Czabe!

  11. love it Czabe! The Texans are my 2nd favorite team (behind the Steelers - a team I could never bail on because our ownership will never fuck us fans like Snyder has done to you). Love Schaub, Slaton and Johnson. I would make the transition now......... besides, you can always visit Houston's finest "dance" clubs on a road trip to watch your new favorite team.

  12. Ok, Czabe - I've been listening to you since 2002, and I've always been a big fan. As a native Baltimoron, we Orioles fans are possibly even more long-suffering than you Skins fans and for many of the same reasons: both have egomanical intrusive owners who, after all these years, keep playing fantasy ball with no comprehension of how to build or sustain a franchise. Both franchises are proud and with rabid fan bases... and they're both squarely in the tank.

    With that prolix and non-sequiturous preamble, I cordially invite you to your temporary sanctuary in the Raven Nation. Yes, I realize you hate purple, aka pink's gay cousin, but, please realize that team colors should be of secondary importance to anyone over the age of 10. Your benefits as a temporary Raven fan far outweigh this insignificant transgression:

    1. Ownership/management that's the antithesis of the Snyderskins. Your temporary defection to the Ravens will be a symbolic rebuke of Snyder's management style. Ozzie Newsome is a Hall of Famer, not a jock sniffer like Snyder and his minions. As GM, he makes sound management decisions, and runs pretty much everything. Bischotti lets Newsome handle his business and doesn't interfere.

    2. Superb team continuity. The Ravens draft well, retain most of their better players, and maintain the salary cap very well. Their free agent acquisitions are for players who want to win, not get an exorbitant payday (see: Shannon Sharpe, Derek Mason, Samari Rolle, Matt Birk vs. Deion, Bruce Smith, Trotter, Coles, Morton, Haynesworth... shall I go on?). The Ravens also tend to scrutinize their coaches and retain them for longer than two seasons. Best of all, Ravens coaches tend not to make a habit of making the fan base collectively ask "wtf?"

    3. You can make a short trek on up the road to a great stadium to watch a quality team. And that will really get to Snyder. Washington has never wanted Baltimore to get a team the same way Big Mouth Billy Bass tried to prevent DC from getting a baseball team. If attendance for the Ravens is better than the Skins, that will send a clear message... and you can be a part of sending that message.

    4. Even if you don't want to make the trip 40 miles north, you can always watch the Ravens play on TV when the impending blackouts for the Skins come. Get on the bus early so you can follow the team in your local TV market.

    Come on, Czabe, aren't these reasons convincing enough to petition Raven Nation for refugee status? Purple's not so bad when there's so much to be gained. We'll gladly accept you, and this would be a very nice, safe place for you to park it for the next decade or two until the Beltbuckle Kid finally sells the Skins.