Thursday, October 8, 2009
Well, They Were Such A Nice Family
On second thought, never mind.
Greg Norman has added to his already legendary douchebaggery in golf and beyond, by quietly announcing that he and his "new" love of his life, Chrissy Evert, have separated.
Do you think he called Andy Mill to say: "You can have her back, now, mate."
Now I understand that it takes two to tango, and all ugly divorces have many versions of the truth. But of all the people who would submarine a family and then bail after 15 months, Greg Norman is the poster child.
Back when Norman wooed Chrissy away, Mill had this to say:
Mill, 53, said he had been devastated by the split with Evert and described December 4 – when their divorce and their multimillion-dollar settlement was finalised – as "the worst day in my life".
"I wouldn't wish divorce on anyone," he said. "But it happens and you can't make somebody love you, in the case of my ex-wife. You have to move on and so I'm moving on. It (recovering from the split) is a work in progress."
"Greg Norman at one time was my best friend, and a year and a half ago I would have taken a bullet for this guy," Mill said yesterday. "But I didn't realise he was the one that was going to pull the trigger."
Sports Illustrated ran a gooey, gushy, and long article about how perfect the two new lovebirds were for each other. Maybe the magazine should have waited a few years until the torrid 50-something athlete sex wore off.
Strict moralists will look at the circumstances of their initial attraction—the messy entanglement of a wealthy sportsman with the wife of a good friend, Andy Mill; the Madison County--style longings of a hausfrau with three school-age children—and deliver a swift verdict of no. To bolster their case, the scolds need only point to the postseparation remarks of Laura Andrassy, who told an Australian newspaper that Evert had been "aggressive" in pursuit of her husband of 25 years ("In front of me, like I didn't exist") and that Norman's quest for superstardom in both golf and business had left her feeling "like a single mom."
Here, for example, we find Greg resting his bare feet on Chrissie's knees while he reads the Financial Times. "We both have foot fetishes," she explains, gently tugging on one little piggy while coyly eyeing another. "We rub each other's feet all the time." She tilts her head as she runs her thumbs up his calloused soles. "Boy, feet. I think all athletes know the importance of feet."
"Chrissie likes to do things with me," Norman says, kicking off his shoes as N1GN breaks through the clouds over Santo Domingo. "One of the greatest compliments a spouse can give you is to simply say, 'Hey, can I come with you? Hey, let's go for a hike in the Tibetan mountains.' My ex-wife never gave me that."
Listen to Norman: "She makes me feel alive again." Listen to Evert: "We're better people together."
To quote Moe Syzlak: "Not no more you aint!"