Monday, September 5, 2011

The Teenage Rocket Sled to Trouble

And what this sweet little freckle-faced, braces wearing faux-picture of teenage innocence did NOT mention as side benefits of giving your kid a cell phone....

- You can then start calling your new teenage boyfriend at any time, from anywhere, without your parents knowing anything about it.
- You can discuss when and where to lose your virginity together.
- You can text him naked pictures of yourself that will be used later for internet humiliation, retaliation, blackmail, and perhaps lead to suicide.
- You can become a self-absorbed Facebook generation dope, with little intellectual curiosity or awareness outside your social media "bubble."
- You now have a phone number where internet predators can reach you directly, at any time.
- You can text while driving, and possibly kill yourself and your friends.

Oh.. the benefits are endless. But remember: "young love" can never blossom at a bowling alley date. No, it takes a cell phone and Facebook for that to happen.



  1. The other thing is that kids don't go bowling anymore

  2. Ohhhh Czabe has reached that magical age where he thinks the good ol' days were actually good. I look forward to his posts about kicking kids off his lawn

  3. Kids also don't speak any longer, they text and e-mail. Personality is a dying attribute.

  4. Czabe, when you were a teen were you trying to everything under the sun to lose your virginity? What a difference 30 years makes, eh?

  5. Get off my lawn!!! These damn kids and their wacky technology....alright, everybody back to my basement with 6 HDTVs, surround sound, satellite links, premier tv channels, etc, etc, etc.

    Take a breath are starting to sound like the principle from Breakfast Club.