Friday, September 9, 2011

Things I Am No Longer Going To Get Worked Up About Watching The NFL

I know that following this list is perhaps impossible. But if I can pull it off, I will have a much more serene experience enjoying tackle football on Sundays.

- Overly long replay reviews
- Late start times for MNF
- Shitty refs
- Illogical suspensions/fines
- Dumb rules (I'm looking at YOU, Mr. "Illegal Shift.")
- Al Michaels' mediocrity
- The Prevent Defense
- Worthless Sideline Announcers
- Obviously botched replay calls
- Rex Grossman
- Mike Shanahan never saying anything of note
- Football Night In America's lack of highlights
- Bad beats against the point spread

In addition, I officially resign from being the one of the NFL's slavishly slobbering media sycophants. Yes, I love football. Especially the "pro" variety. But I'm done "shining the league's shield." I refuse to call it the (/insert faux gravitas) NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE....

Great game. Great athletes. And as for the league itself, eh. I'm done trying to tell it to stop doing the stupid shit it's been doing as of late, on many fronts. Do what you want. Let me know how it works out.

In other words... serenity now.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Does this new found serenity mean you'll have more time to work on Small School Ass Whoopings? I love hearing that on Bob & Brian.

  3. I've turned in my pro football fan card at the door last season.. and have been sayin' for years the NFL is the "NATIONAL FELON LEAGUE"